To be slightly annoyed by the phase 'work hard and get on'

[LittleTurtle]

on the budget speech.

Apparently in reference to SAHM.

The newspapers were slating PM's use of this phrase all today. That SAHM would be excluded from receiving child care support because they do not want to work hard and get on.

I was mostly surprised that the chancellor used this exact same phrase at the budget speech today. I thought they would just erase it after the papers raised concerns from parents about it.

I just find it insulting that people generally think SAHM don't do anything, but just lounge around at home.

So have you given up on that basis, quesadilla? Told your kids not to bother at school? No point for 'ordinary people' to have any ambition or put in any effort... so why do an exam or put yourself out?

Bit defeatist isn't it?

Really Katy, the benevolence of my husband? really?
We each take a different role in our partnership at the moment to suit our needs. Is he relying on my benevolence in allowing him the chance to work whilst I provide childcare? Nope, that would be a ridiculous way to view things.

People should not be classed as not wanting to get on and work hard because they have taken a career break to look after their children that if circumstances allow.

Government and general society should not view this as laziness.
Both working mothers and sahm should be supported in society for the benefit of all. Different strokes and all that

Cogito No of course I haven't bloody given up: I work 45 hours a week, look after a toddler and apply for jobs before and after work. But despite 16 years experience in my field and a good degree I am apparently unemployable because my "network" isn't good enough. That's what a recruiter said to me. It seems to me that the strides we made in opening the world of work up beyond the old boys club over the last 40 years are all being reversed. So any hard work my dd does to get on in life will likely be futile because she doesn't have the right connections. And that's a very bad and depressing message to have to give to one's kids.

When did SAHMs get so touchy about what they do? Why do they need recognition from anyone else about how hard they have it or about what they do? I find this a bit pathetic actually. SAHMs don't need to have their choice to have children validated by anyone else, they don't need their choice to stay at home to be validated by anyone else.

As they won't get this support because they clearly don't need child care, then the comment wasn't aimed at them and I don't understand why people are trying to make it all about themselves.

Since having DC I find the world of work tiresome. Don't know what to do about that. Worked FT out of financial necessity post DC1 but now after No 2 I just want a PT job, though I suspect it will be disastrous in terms of undermining all the efforts I have out into building a career till now. Working full time meant I never had enough time for my real life outside the workplace. What goes on at home now seems 100% more important than work. Would love to know how to trn myself back into the work obsessive I once once - but suspect I am much more normal now. I wish there were more interesting part time roles that would potentially fuel that passion without causing complete burn out, as I found my FT job did...

Not arguing that I need this benefit to pay for childcare that I don't need, I am arguing that something that has benefitted my ds is being taken away.
Preschool isn't always about childcare it can benefit the child in so many ways and childcare vouchers provided a less expensive way to do this.

Hmm, and yes of course I am touchy and feel the need to defend my choice in life. How silly to say that we should not need to have our choices validated by the wider society. As part of society, I want to feel I have a place that contributes to society and that this is recognised to ensure that our sons and daughters feel that they have a choice in the future.
I feel sad that future generations may feel that the care of children by a sahp is a lazy choice and looked badly upon.

"That's what a recruiter said to me."

They mean 'go out and get talking to people who might be useful to you'.... not 'give up because you're not part of an old boys' club'. That's what you tell your DD as she's growing up... use your contacts... not 'it's futile'.

yanbu

HATE IT

childcare is heavily sunsidised
SAHMs do not need free childcare

I never said sahm's were lazy. Quite the opposite.

But should a marriage break up, the husband still has his job and an intact cv.

Staying at home is a luxury. Some people can afford it. But, it's a fact that the mother who stays at home loses out on future pension and their value in the job market declines.

I stayed at home for several years. I am now working full time. It's brutally exhausting, but I am happy knowing that I am earning money and supporting the family. Some people truly enjoy being at home with the kids. But why is the default the mother?

Mum stays home, her world shrinks, and the husband gets to go out, talk to adults, have what he does validated through pay, and increase his experience and value on the job market.

Childcare is not subsidised enough, and there's not enough of it. I used to live in an area where the nearest nursery was 20 miles away and there were no individual carers. That's how I got stuck at home.

I have a BA with highest honours from the University of California, Berkeley. It's worthless on the job market because I haven't used it in a decade. But, I don't say "there are no jobs." I make fairly good money cleaning houses. (About £12.50 an hour after expenses).

There's work for those who are willing to do it.

Work hard and get on...
We are all in this together...
I understand your problems/issues....

The most utterly annoying thing that is said however is:
'The public want....' And fill in whatever you wish after that because its never ever what I actually want (or need come to that) and its not what anybody I know wants and frankly, how would Mr Cameron or Mr Osborne know what the public wants? Because all too often they do the exact opposite of what we all want... Sigh....
I hate being told what I want when nobody has bothered to come and ask me what I want. Or they have and they just don't bother to listen to the answer...

...and when they are feeling a bit in need of some love , the rallying cry 'Britain is open for business'
F*k off Tory Waners

The phrase is in shockingly bad taste and v ill-considered.

This should not become a SAHM vs WOHM (Divide and concquer, anyone? ), but about the connection of 'working hard' and 'getting on'.
I know many people who are working their backsides off, and are getting absolutely nowhere - not through lack of effort, but lack of opporturnity.
Where are all these jobs??

I have never been so appreciative that I have a recession-proof job than in the last 5 years or so.

GO is a knob, and self-righteous to boot.

Yanbu-what an arse!

Sorry being a sahm bloody shouldn't be a luxury.

Many women want to do it and feel it would be best for their dc but can't due to it not being financially viable and worries re career being there after a break.

Nobody ever in these discussions acknowledge the young children involved.

Not all children and families benefit from 2 working parents.Jobs,personalities,circumstances etc differ.For some families the stress,time restraints,resentment etc can be a negative thing but acknowledge this and help women choose what they think is best for their family and children no let's start stigmatising and hammering sahp instead.

That phrase. "Work hard and get on"

I'd tell him all about "work hard and get on" given a ten minute opportunity the slimy, supercillious little pond weasel.

If you're a SAHM on benefits, you're also expected to go back to work once your child turns five - so when they start primary school. Now, I'm not cut out to be a SAHM, but if that was what I'd wanted to do, I'd be looking to have another child pretty soon, because that would buy me five more years. As it is, when I start working again, my pay will be almost completely negated by childcare costs.

The ideal scenario is DP staying at home while I work, but unfortunately that's not possible. With a string of shitty temp jobs and a four year gap in my CV, I can't match his management pay, if I can find a job at all. It seems even McDonalds don't want me :(

Yanbu it was a horrible thoughtless comment.

It's also a kick in the teeth for services families, dh works long hours often months away at a time. I decided to sahp to give the dc stability, planning to retrain when dh left the forces for a better paid job.

I think we work hard and get on, or we try. Dh has decided to put his notice in, so next year I planned to go to uni and put younger dc in childcare and find wrap around for older dc. But without childcare help this will be impossible.

We also have a house in a deprived area, it was a starter home but after the collapse and recession we can't sell, we struggle renting it. So we have no hope of selling and freeing capital to buy a family home, we rent which is very expensive. Our other property is like a millstone.

All we do is work hard and try to get on. Unless your lucky or loaded this term will be insulting. Especially to sahp who are doing a very valid job, some sahp may have no choice but to choose not to work, in not working they may sacrifice a lot. Little spending money, no holidays, no free time for themselves.

I think its very hard not to take the statement personally. In his latest budget it has only made our families life harder. So yanbu.

yanbu. If only life were as simple as working hard and getting on. Naive twoddle from the wallpaper millionaire.

Ohmy

My mother did that and I'll always be grateful. She was sent to live on camps miles from anywhere with no car,constant upheaval etc and she gave up her much loved teaching career for us.I'll always be grateful.

We put everything into Dp's career.It isn't always possible to push 2 careers,somebody has to take a back seat and it made sense for it to be me.In my sister's family her job comes first.

Now after supporting dp(who still needs support) sacrificing my career and putting the needs of my dc and our family as a whole first I'm deemed as not hard working and not having a desire to get on.

Up yours GO!

there are lots of poeple working hard and never getting on the goverment should be talking to the cleaners and care assistants in homes and hospitals and all the other equivelently low paid jobs to see if they ever have hope not making empty statements its so easy for the people on a decent wage to turn ther backs

Yanbu. George Osbourne is an idiot along with the rest of this government.
I am a Sahm (although have a small business i run from home) and currently have no need for child care but when my dc3 turns 3 I would like him to go to preschool. Not just for me but for him. There are no jobs that will fit in with this and looking after my dc4. I might consider getting a job when they are all at school but only one that is flexible with my children.
The problem is that we are now in a situation where to get by as a family with a good quality of life you need to have two people working unless one of you earns a good salary.
I hate the contradictions of this government. Talking about family values and the big society and then slating mothers who choose to stay at home and look after their own children.

"I think the benefit should be for both as it would allow families to decide how to bring up their children. It should assist dual-income families with the cost of childcare and ease the financial burden of one-income families who prioritize having a parent stay at home."

Are you kidding me?

Why should the government assist you if you choose to stay at home? If you choose to stay at home, you should have the means in place to support yourself. Why does the responsibility fall to the government to pay you to stay at home? If you can't afford it without government help (and there aren't other circumstances...illness, SN and all the rest of it) then you go back to work.

If you want to be a SAHM, brilliant, fantastic, do it. I would love to have done it when my children were younger but I couldn't afford not to work.

If you choose to work, you should get help towards childcare to stop this ridiculous business of being worse off for going out to work.

"I hate the contradictions of this government. Talking about family values and the big society and then slating mothers who choose to stay at home and look after their own children."

They are not slating SAHMs. They do a valuable job. What is changing is the financial help they get. You want to stay home and look after your own children, you make sure you can afford to.

Ditto OhMy and Kazoo