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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to report this teacher?

57 replies

BigMistakeHuge · 19/03/2013 23:27

Had a phone call yesterday at 4pm, Mr Smith (not real) phoned and started telling me about an issue with my daughter. Not doing homework, answering back in class and despite our discussing this before half term there has been no improvement and ...
My jaw dropped at this point as I was unaware of any problems at school with either of my DDs. I interrupted him and said which child he was referring to. He replied Sarah.
I do not have a Sarah.
There is a Sarah with our (relatively unusual) surname in DD1's year.
I stopped his ranting and told him that she was not my daughter. He said well this is the number the office has given me, and then carried on about Sarah. Shock
I talked over him "No, I am not Sarah's mum"
"Well, whose mum are you then?"
"Amy and Martha's"
"but this is 01223467554?"
"Yes, but I'm not Sarah's mum"
"Well the database must be wrong then"
Noshit,sherlock
Okay then, bye. and then he hung up.

Do you think this should be reported to the school to maybe put controls into place to ensure that the correct parent is being spoken too before confidential info is revealed?

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 20/03/2013 08:05

I'd call and complain that he carried on talking about a child you had told him wasn't yours.

I'd then ask that the office ensure that the phone number held on your records is correct, and if your number is on Sarah's record, that it is removed.

Having been responsible for a student database, I'd have been bollocked to high heaven for not having the correct details down for a student.

toomanyfionas · 20/03/2013 08:15

I think you should have found out more about Sarah and what punishment was to be meted out

fluffyraggies · 20/03/2013 08:24

I agree that it wasn't a simple case of an admin cock up.

He should have clearly clarified with you who you were and who he was calling about before starting to talk about the child. It doesn't sound as if he was dealing with the call very well at all.

Not good practice.

I'd send in a short letter if it was me. A letter can't be ignored. No need to raise hell, but mention the lack of clarification and the manner of the call and say you feel the teacher should be pulled up on it.

anonymosity · 20/03/2013 16:17

Nonsense. He doesn't need pulling up - did he not ask "is this mrs xxx?" at the start of the call? I fully expect he did.

If so then I wouldn't be surprised that having spoken to the other Mrs xxx before about this other child, Sarah, he knew he had to get it all out before he was interrupted.

NotTreadingGrapes · 20/03/2013 16:21

Jesus Christ, he's not left government boxes on a bloody train.

Wish I could turn the clock back and get my Mum to badger/hound/report the teacher at my school who sent a letter about the other NotTreadingGrapes who'd been found smoking in the bogs.

Instead we did what normal people do. Laughed it off and rang the school to say "oops, look like you got the wrong Grapes".

soverylucky · 20/03/2013 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotTreadingGrapes · 20/03/2013 16:24

Compensation!!! Name and shame!!! Ring the papers!!!!

FierceBadIggi · 20/03/2013 17:31

Uncertain how it is the teacher's fault?
By all means complain. The teacher will have asked the office for the number. He won't have access himself to the addresses/numbers of parents.
So get someone in the office in trouble by all means. Oh but that's not as much fun as having a go at the teacher, is it?!

FryOneFatManic · 20/03/2013 18:02

The teacher didn't handle the call well, but animosity's point that he may have dealt with the other mum before sounds plausible.

Admin staff should be contacted to check they have the correct contact info.

primroseyellow · 20/03/2013 18:07

Report it asap. to HT and if response not to your satisfaction then to COG. Outrageous breach of confidentiality.

lilackaty · 20/03/2013 18:10

I think you should report it to the school so that they know that there is a problem with their database and they can resolve it. Not to get anyone in trouble though.

Wellthen · 20/03/2013 20:02

There isn't necessarily a problem with the system, he probably asked for 'Mrs Smiths number' and was given it. Just not the right one. The office staff need reminding to ask which one.

I find it odd that he at no point mentioned the child's name until he was well into the conversation. I always begin phone conversations with parents with 'Hello is that X? This is Miss Wellthen, Jamie's teacher.' at the very least I'd would say 'I'm calling about Jamie'

It sounds like he was rude, both not to clarify who you were and also to contradict you. Surely phone etiquette in any sitatution would be to say who you are and why you're calling.

I might mention it to the deputy or another manager just so they could have a word with the member of staff but to be honest he probably felt really stupid and has learnt his lesson. I wouldn't 'report' it as a data protection issue as frankly I don't see 'your kid has been naughty' as data.

poppypebble · 20/03/2013 21:30

Do other teachers really have to get the office to give them a phone number? Do you not use sims or other such things? I just click and there is a list of contacts, telephone and email. Our office would grind to a halt if we had to go through them to get a number.

Pocketchange · 20/03/2013 21:34

I think you should phone Sarah's Mum and tell her what the teacher said to you about her daughter. And then tell her she must be a crap mother to allow her daughter to behave like this. And then say that Mr Smith said it. That should sort it out.

zwischenzug · 20/03/2013 21:37

What is it with this place and being ready to nail teachers to the wall for the tiniest thing. Ok the guy made a mistake - but it's hardly like he was giving out passcodes to nuclear missiles is it? You could find out from your own kids who's been naughty in school and if their mum has been in for a meeting, its not exactly a state secret.

No doubt it's the same sort of people who complain about teachers needing so many inset days for training in irrelevant trivial tasks like telephone process. God forbid they can just concentrate on trying to educate children.

LeeCoakley · 20/03/2013 21:39

The only thing I'd be concerned about is if your dd had an accident and instead of contacting you they left a message on Sarah's mum's phone. Hopefully it was a one-off mistake but maybe check your dd's contact numbers sheet to make sure!

RunningAgain · 20/03/2013 21:43

What you need to do is phone up and check that the school has the correct contact details for you Smile

teacherandguideleader · 20/03/2013 21:44

I don't think it is really the teacher's fault (although he could have handled the call better).

Th OP mentions they have the same surname, so he may well have said 'is Mrs X there?', but just got the wrong Mrs X. I'm trying to think back to when I make phone calls home and I'm fairly certain I say the child's name (I certainly will now!).

I think it does need bringing to the attention of the school, but in a 'letting them know' kind of way rather than reporting. I have to get numbers off of a system if I need to call home and I have no way of knowing if they are correct (I would however apologise if I got it wrong and not be rude, although I'd probably get a little flustered and feel like a prize idiot!).

Sounds like the staff may need reminding to check they are speaking to who they think they are.

LandofTute · 20/03/2013 21:50

Maybe parents sometimes pretend the teacher got the wrong number when they phone to complain about a child's behaviour!

anonymosity · 20/03/2013 21:52

I think that you're just upset because you picked up the phone and got shouted at (sort of). I understand that. It wrankles and its rude and feels invasive. But it was a mistake.

I think you just want to get back at him for giving you a mis-directed "telling off".

you need to let it go.

shesariver · 20/03/2013 21:56

Would love to see how some of the people here who dont think this is a big deal would react if a teacher phoned some random parent and gave out confidential information regarding their child's behaviour to them.

anonymosity · 20/03/2013 21:59

was it confidential? I expect everyone in Sarah's class knows she is rude, naughty, disruptive - or whatever she's accused of. And I expect the parents know too.

ClippedPhoenix · 20/03/2013 22:00

OOps! hardly the crime of the century is it.

Just tell the school to update your details.

giveitago · 20/03/2013 22:00

This reminds me of a call I had from a friend saying that that they'd been referred to social services via their nursery. She was so frightenend. She took two days to get the courage to talk to the nursery and they'd got the wrong name. Her sone was one of 3 of the same first name and it wasn't her son that was referred.

Horrible mistake not only in that friend was so frightened and didn't know what she'd done 'wrong' but the school in getting the name wrong had alerted to her to the fact that another of her son's friends witht he same first name was referred to social services.

anonymosity · 20/03/2013 22:01

that's different - that's SS not a teacher with a telling off.