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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Going out while DS was poorly

38 replies

hillbilly · 18/03/2013 14:43

DS (5) had a vomiting bug on Friday night and on Saturday morning he was feeling a little poorly and had a raised temp but no more sickness. I had a long standing arrangement to be out for around 4 hours in the morning doing something with a friend for her birthday. Anyway, I went and when I got back DH was really pissed off with me saying he was "very surprised" that I had gone while DS was ill. DH had been looking after him (and DD) while I was gone and I did not think DS was very ill, just under the weather. I took over on my return, but DH was very annoyed with me. Was I being the uncaring mother he implied or was he being unreasonable?

OP posts:
nethunsreject · 18/03/2013 14:45

Sounds ok to me. He had his dad and was on the mend!

bakingaddict · 18/03/2013 14:47

Any particular reason why he couldn't care for his own kids for a couple of hours or is he always an arse in general?

BackforGood · 18/03/2013 14:51

YANBU - dh is though.
Why would you need to be there, if he was there ? Confused

FireOverBabylon · 18/03/2013 14:51

Generally, children have 2 parents, both of whom are capable of clearing up sick.

You had a long standing agreement, he had 2 working arms and a pile of towels in the airing cupboard.

YWBU for "taking over on [your] return" when you could have made a meal, had a bath, gone out to do gardening (add your own to this list) and his dad could have carried on looking after him as presumably you had all night. YWNBU to go out to your prestanding appointment.

Twat!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 18/03/2013 15:00

What could you have done for DS that his dad couldn't have done?? Did he want you to both sit around mopping his brow.

He is being VVV U!!

AThingInYourLife · 18/03/2013 15:04

Jesus, I thought you were going to say that you brought him with you.

Not that you left him safely at home with his Dad.

YANBU

Your husband really is though.

thezebrawearspurple · 18/03/2013 15:05

Your dh needs to be reminded that he is a parent too! Of course ywnbu, your son had his father taking care of him.

Lueji · 18/03/2013 15:26

A child doesn't need two parents around them when ill.
Was your OH annoyed because he had to clean up vomit, instead of you? Grin

Iaintdunnuffink · 18/03/2013 15:36

Yanbu

He's perfectly capable of providing the same care as you.

Unless he thinks two parents need to be at home for every childhood illnes, to show they care and he'll be rushing home during the working week.

IneedAsockamnesty · 18/03/2013 15:43

I expect that should you and dh part company at some stage he will be one of those banging on about his rights whilst forgetting that he treats you like your then one whose job it is.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 18/03/2013 15:48

YANBU.

Point out that he's the parent too and should be perfectly capable of looking after his ill children.

kim147 · 18/03/2013 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HKat · 18/03/2013 16:16

YANBU at all. G had this exact scenario last weekend, long standing birthday arrangements my friend had deliberately arranged around me as I'm the only one with a dc....My dp actively encouraged me to go as he pointed out he is her father too and just as capable of clearing up any d or v! In fact he was a bit miffed I even thought about staying in! Not saying this to be smug about dp, just agreeing with you wholeheartedly.

susiedaisy · 18/03/2013 16:20

YANBU, why was he annoyed? Would he stay in if it was the other way round?

CockyPants · 18/03/2013 17:27

I don't think you were BU.
Having said that I'm the sort of person who doesn't like leaving DD when she's ill, even though DP is more than capable of caring for her...

Mondrian · 18/03/2013 17:32

What I don't understand is why he was ok with you going out but pissed off on your return.

INeverSaidThat · 18/03/2013 17:35

Of course YANBU. I am a little Confused you had to ask. Your DH sounds like he was being very very very very U.

Is your DH usually like this?

Corygal · 18/03/2013 17:43

YANBU.

Original poster
hillbilly · 18/03/2013 18:22

He was not ok before I left, but quietly pissed off I think - tbh I did not even notice. I just wanted to see what the general consensus was because I thought he was being very unreasonable.

OP posts:
verytellytubby · 18/03/2013 18:24

That's outrageous. What an arsehole. I'd be livid if my DH said anything like that. He's perfectly capable of caring for a sick child.

InkleWinkle · 18/03/2013 18:42

Would he have cancelled something if it was the other way round??
YANBU!

Original poster
hillbilly · 18/03/2013 19:01

Inklewinkle - yes he would have cancelled.

OP posts:
OrWellyAnn · 18/03/2013 19:06

DH would actively encourage me to go if this cropped up in our house...which is what I'd expect of any reasonable parent! yanbu, your H is being a wimp!

NotAsNiceAsMyMum · 18/03/2013 19:18

I went to America when ds2 had a vomitting bug.

I am an uber-bitch :)

CloudsAndTrees · 18/03/2013 19:22

Your husband is BU.

Does he take a day off work so that both of you can be there every time one of your dc is a bit poorly?