Going out while DS was poorly

[hillbilly]

DS (5) had a vomiting bug on Friday night and on Saturday morning he was feeling a little poorly and had a raised temp but no more sickness. I had a long standing arrangement to be out for around 4 hours in the morning doing something with a friend for her birthday. Anyway, I went and when I got back DH was really pissed off with me saying he was "very surprised" that I had gone while DS was ill. DH had been looking after him (and DD) while I was gone and I did not think DS was very ill, just under the weather. I took over on my return, but DH was very annoyed with me. Was I being the uncaring mother he implied or was he being unreasonable?

He was home with a parent what's the big deal?? Bet he's gone out or gone to work loads of times where one or both kids have been ill. Don't see the problem at all.

Why would one slightly unwell child require the attention of two parents? Would your husband really have cancelled his arrangements and stayed home if the situation was reversed? What would have been the point - I mean, what would he have contributed which would either have made life easier for you or which would have made your ds feel better more quickly?

My DS (then 5) had a vomiting bug while camping with his dad and uncle. So did the uncle's three boys - one after the other.

They never even thought to tell us mums till we went to pick them up three days later - dealt with cleaning up sleeping bags, clothes, sterilising cups and so on, all at the camp site.

Your DH needs to man up.

We have our own business and I stayed off work today because DD got the same bug last night and was off school. He's a bit precious about illness whereas I am not.

FWIW I do thing he was BVU.

So why did he not feel it necessary to stay home with you today, OP? Why is it ok for you to manage on your own, but not the other way around?

To be honest I think it depends....

My DD was very poorly and I was meant to be going out. I cancelled because she is quite clingy to me and 10 times more when she's ill.
She rarely settles with her dad and gets worked up sometimes so to leave her like that and whilst she's ill would be unreasonable of me.

BUT. She's quite a bit younger than yours. If your little one was totally comfortable with Dad and he was generally fine then you are not being unreasonable.

Annh - I did not mean that he wanted both of us to look after ds but that he felt ds needed me more than him while he was ill.

If you are a SAHM I'm assuming that if your DC was vomiting on Sunday night your DH would not have gone to work on Monday morning?

I'm not a SAHM - I work school hours - we have our own business.

I guess it all comes down to your personal choices, stay home for DC or have some me time with friends. Good way to get to the bottom of it is if in a couple of weeks you were faced with the same situation would you call it differently?

I would have gone out too. Sick children can be cared for by their paternal parent, not just their maternal one!

I have a 5 year old and a 5 month old. I'd stay at home with the 5 month old if she was poorly because I can look after her better than dh - she's ebf so would get more fluid, settle better with me. 5 year old dd - no way, dh just ad good as me snd would want me to go out.
Yanbu - he is!

Thanks everyone - I think we all agree he was being VU!