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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think this is out of order?

35 replies

WaterfallsOver · 18/03/2013 13:30

Recently a friend of mine organised a 'charity dinner'. It was to be held at her family restaurant and cost was £40 per head. The price seemed high but dh and I paid, assuming a good chunk was going to the charity. The restaurant was an Indian and we were given three drinks each as part of the price, as well as a buffet and the restaurant was full with guests. However, my friend has since mentioned that just £4 per ticket was being given to charity?! So £36 per head goes to the family restaurant.

Aibu to feel pissed off? It was on a weekday, so not as if the restaurant would have been full normally, plus I see they do an all you can eat buffet for £15ph normally. As she is/was a friend I didn't feel the need to check up on how much of the ticket price was going to charity before I paid, I really feel it was a con though and a money spinner for the family business Sad

OP posts:
DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 18/03/2013 13:36

Yep, you've been had.

TotallyEggFlipped · 18/03/2013 13:39

I would never pay to eat at that restaurant again and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else.

KC225 · 18/03/2013 13:40

Ouch - agree 'had'

yaimee · 18/03/2013 13:41

Nope yanbu, the restaraunt should have done it for coat, if this wasn't the case, I'd be asking why!

NotAsNiceAsMyMum · 18/03/2013 13:42

Ouch!

We had one of these recently and half the £20 ticket price went to the charity.

Original poster
WaterfallsOver · 18/03/2013 13:42

You live and learn I suppose...

OP posts:
yaimee · 18/03/2013 13:42

cost, not coat! ha!

HoHoHoNoYouDont · 18/03/2013 13:43

I think that is somewhat dishonest and I would probably let my feelings known to her given the right opportunity in the future.

Tortington · 18/03/2013 13:43

wouldn't be a friend of mine any longer

ENormaSnob · 18/03/2013 13:43

Yanbu

That's so sly.

fluckered · 18/03/2013 13:45

outrageous! i would tell her to her face what I think about what they did and cut ties.

chicaguapa · 18/03/2013 13:47

What did everyone else at the dinner think? Did they know only £4 was going to charity?

Seeing as your friendship is over now anyway, I would speak to her and ensure more money is given to the charity. I wouldn't accept that. She has taken advantage of you and the other guests.

Surely there's some kind of law that prevents you from advertising something as being 'for charity' without declaring how much is going to be kept for costs etc.?

jumpingjackhash · 18/03/2013 13:48

YANBU, that sounds really shady. Have you asked your friend about why so little of the ticket price went to the charity, given the usual £15ph buffet cost?

Fakebook · 18/03/2013 13:51

You spent £80 and only £8 of that went to charity? Shock. I bet they made a healthy profit that day eh?!

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 18/03/2013 13:56

The more I think about it, the more I think I'd have to say something to this 'friend'.

Not only did they charge £40 per person, but people would have bought drinks on top of the three 'free' drinks they were given.

This was never about making money for any charity. I'd have to say something.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 18/03/2013 14:04

Surely thats fraudulent in some way! Especially if a meal there is usually only £15.

Original poster
WaterfallsOver · 18/03/2013 14:12

Well I suppose they could claim the three drinks cost £21...its a cheek, I did make sure I mentioned to another friend who attended. He said 'oh, I don't think I can afford to sponsor another person for charity, I just gave £80 buying the dinner tickets. Then I told him only £8 of the £80 was going to charity...

OP posts:
bumperella · 18/03/2013 14:12

You were done. When a freind organises it you're right to assume that it's genuinely charitable.

TiaMariaandSpringCleaning · 18/03/2013 14:53

That's incredibly cheeky and I agree with the poster upthread who said it feels a lot like fraud. Probably not much you can do about it now, although I'd be making sure to ask her continually in public how much the event raised for the charity. And never c ever darken her door again!

Floralnomad · 18/03/2013 14:56

I think I'd be tempted to ask the charity what proportion of the ticket price they were expecting to receive . It sounds like a good money spinner for the restaurant and verging on the dishonest .

LazyMonkeyButler · 18/03/2013 15:05

YANBU. I would also expect the restaurant to be providing the food & drink at cost and donating ALL of the profit to charity (if the evening was described/advertised as a "Charity Dinner").

If the arrangement was anything different then it should have been specified on the ticket (i.e. 10% of ticket price donated to charity) IMO.

Did anything else happen to raise money for charity at the dinner? A raffle or auction for example?

Original poster
WaterfallsOver · 18/03/2013 15:36

No nothing else was done to raise money. I'm no longer going to be friends with the scammer.

OP posts:
DontmindifIdo · 18/03/2013 15:49

tell everyone you can. That's not on, I bet they try to organise another one...

Avoid that restaurant if you can too.

YourHandInMyHand · 18/03/2013 16:11

That is appalling! I would assume like LazyMonkey says that they were providing their stuff at cost, so that as much as possible went to the charity.

I'd be telling this grasping person what I thought and telling as many other people as I could too in case they arrange another money maker.

ChocolateCoins · 18/03/2013 16:14

That's terrible. I would be so so angry! They should have done it for cost and given the rest to charity; so at least half.