to be unreasonable about what my dad said at our wedding?

[happymundanes]

My dad gave a very heartfelt, lovely speech at our wedding. He said I was a much loved daughter, an amazing cook and a wonderful mother and that DH should cherish me because I was one in a million. Just how massively U am I to think now (not so much at the time, was very etc.) that I have achieved quite a lot in my life (am in my forties, took forever to find a partner and have children) that I am proud of, in my career and also personally, things I've really had to strive for, but the only thing my dad sees as important is my ability to cook (I am quite good) and be a good mother (I'm only a normally good mother as we usually are). Am I hideous?

Oh, no, trinpy, that's a bit bad of your mum!

I think I am quite lucky, as my dad is such a nervous public speaker he was mumbling very fast, so most people thought he was pissed. This was a distinct advantage.

Thanks everyone. We did have a really great wedding day, enjoyed it more than we thought we would. It was informal too, so he was deprived of the opportunity to 'give me away' .

Remember the good bits!

I do know how you feel but I think everyone has some thing or another that they slightly wish had gone differently, it's human nature.

I had a best man too, and he said lots of nice things and avoided dishing any of the not inconsiderable dirt he has on me to general disappointment among the crowd

My Dad mentioned all the stuff he was proud of me for and that he doesn't tell me often enough. Wasn't wifey/mumsey stuff. So, I get where you are coming from.

Atleast your dad is proud of the daughter he made, and who shes become, at my wedding my dad wont know one thing about, and has never said hes proud of me.

Your dad sounds like hes a proud father, and proud of what you were, are and what your gonna be. Be thankful for that.

I was at my indian friend's wedding recently and her father stood up and made an incredibly racist speech about his son in law. I didn't know if he realised what he was saying or not but I had no idea where to put myself, it was terrible.

Glad you enjoyed yourself and I agree with what was said earlier - he doesn't know you professionally so is just commenting on the parts of you he sees, which are most likely going to be the domestic aspects.

How awful RatPants

Thanks for all your kind comments. I do think I'm lucky to have a proud dad and should probably apply the Spanish saying, 'to have a friend you must close one eye' to my family.

I like that saying!

A my wedding my dad threw a strop about having to wait for anything, and having to listen to all the boring speeches (they weren't boring to anyone else). Got me crying and I told him to go away rather than ruin it for me with his sour face. He apologised ("us old people can be tricky" when there were much older people at the wedding enjoying themselves without a hint of negativity) and stayed. At least your dad gave a speech! Mine delegated it to mum (I can't remember much of it, but it was nice), with the excuse of not being able to do it from becoming all too emotional. What rubbish - he just doesn't do emotions.

at my wedding, my dad just talked about family, new son in the family etc etc. he said he hoped he and my mum would be as good in laws as he had had, and he toasted my grandmother. thankfully no list of achievements.

a friend attended a wedding where the father banged on about his daughter,s first from university etc

OP, your dad's speech sounds lovely

My dad said "thanks all for coming, thank Christ we have got rid of her!"

I kid you not!

Land thats what my friends brother will plan on saying when she gets married.

I feel sorry for the poor bloke. He loves you, he stood up and said nice complimentary things (he didn't focus on the stuff you think he should have, but does it matter?) now he's being called old fashioned and given the collective mn gimlet eye because of it as the subject of a thread.

I suppose you could have written you own speech about your acievements and made him read it out.

It took my dad every ounce of courage he had to stand up and make his speech at our wedding. I knew what it took for him to do it and I loved him for it and for being there.

I think your father is extremely unreasonable to berate you and cover his ears in the way you described, and I can see how his general attitude coloured your perspective of his speech, although I would still maintain that the speech wasnt U.

Personally I would have said something to my father if he'd been so rude - probably after the event so as not to embarrass him in front of the teenagers. It sounds to me as if you're both stuck in some teenage v father dynamic, where you are behaving stroppily ("disagreed vociferously") because he is trying to come over all Victorian father. Is there any way you an sit him down and tell him gently how his behaviours make you feel and ask him to desist.

I like the sound of your teenager. S/he obviously has a wicked sense of humour.

Louly, it was supposed to be a joke, but those close enough to me knew there was feeling behind it so it hurt and it still does! It was uncalled for. I know my Gran gave my parents what for over it!

Land, i wouldnt be too impressed if i heard that, my sister woulda lost it if my dad has said that at her wedding. If he'd had said it after a long heartfelt speech it wouldnt have been so bad, but it dont sound like your dad did a long speech at all.

YANBU - that would piss me right off.

mine talked about my academic and career successes,with details and how proud they were. It was sweet but I squirmed and not sure if everyone else really wanted to know details of my CV, particularly as a bunch of them were very similar unis/careers etc. perhaps you are insecure about your achievements in that area? if you are that proud of them you hardly need a bunch of people who you already know pretty well being regaled do you? I think YABU, sorry.

My Dad's speech had a classic line in it - still spoken of 14 years later.

'As we call know cece has been about a bit...'

He was referring to my world wide backpacking trip of 2 years. But it was still for me and LMAO for all of my friends. Some of the older family members were a bit

Perhaps talking about academic and career achievements doesn't seem very relevant for a wedding speech and would come across as a bit boring and PFB.