Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To refuse to pay for School leaving party without seeing the quotes?

358 replies

Sunnymeg · 17/03/2013 08:57

DS leaves primary in July. Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant, a party there and the parents pick them up at the end. I know from other parents that in previous years this came to around £25 and I'm completely happy with that.
All the year 6 mums had a chat, about the leavers, do at the school gates and one of the parents offered to organize it. This is a parent who has had older children leave the primary and knows how it works. She said she would ring around, email everyone to let them know the costs and if everyone was happy she would book the limo and the restaurant.

Well, we have now heard from her, and she has already booked the limo, and also instead of a restaurant, she has booked a party session at a local play centre, as this is what her daughter wants to do and she thought it was a really good idea. She has asked for a £30 deposit and wants another £20 at the beginning of July. It costs children £12 for a day pass at this centre, and £8 for a birthday party so I can't see how her figures add up. I'm skipping over the fact that our DS doesn't really want to go to the play centre. as it is his last chance to do something with his classmates.

Am I being unreasonable to ask to see the quotes, I admit that I'm annoyed that she has booked the play centre off her own bat, is that clouding my judgment over the whole thing?

OP posts:
mrsstewpot · 18/03/2013 10:00

Ok emotions running high here for me as I have had to witness and comfort children who have not been included in these parties.

I suspected the post from elijah as it backed up comfy and called those who disagreed, 'bores'. Similar language and a search revealed a first time poster.

This is what MNHQ said:

Subject: Re: (Case 197497) 37894989 - Ignore the bores comfy sofas - your DS and his palDate: 17 March 2013 22:46:33Hi there,

Good spot!

Thanks,

Best,
Catherine
MNHQ

I could be wrong still, I guess, and in that case, I apologise.

Bowing out for now as getting far too involved.

comfysofas · 18/03/2013 10:01

Yes you are wrong and as I said I have asked MN to post on this thread that you were wrong.......

We shall see.

Emotions PAH! Just nasty.

comfysofas · 18/03/2013 10:04

Surely I would not of been a first time poster if I named changed?

quoteunquote · 18/03/2013 10:07

when parents started to want to pull this crap stuff at our local primary school,

the school let the children run a cake stall during the summer term, a limo was hired and during the end of school disco all the children got to have a ride in it, great time had by all, band, barbecue, silly games, fun,disco together saying good bye to all.

the school didn't want the last memory of primary school being a have and have not moment, such a horrible thing to do,

I live in Devon, none of the schools I know allow this oneupmanship behaviour to go on.

comfysofas · 18/03/2013 10:10

oh gosh

What do you mean allow it?

I can do what I want. Can I not?

This is so tiring, I have to go now and will be away from the internet for two days.

Thank god, please mn do the leg work and prove I am not two people and then write a post on here.

INeverSaidThat · 18/03/2013 10:18

I am with Comfy on this one. I think a lot of people are taking this all too seriously. Limo's are tacky and ostentatious and that is why a lot of younger kids like them. They are just so 'unexpected' and fun. IYSWIM.

As long as everyone is included and everyone has fun I think you should do whatever you like.
The fact that some 16 year olds think they are tacky is really not relevant or the least bit suprising.

I am sorry for the OP who has had her thread derailed. She was not asking about whether MN approves of limos

IneedAsockamnesty · 18/03/2013 11:19

Calling someone a bore V calling someone a chav.

What do you think is more offensive?

Comfy has very clearly said her child's treat is happening away from school,any parent can provide what ever treat they see fit for children with out it being anything to do with anybody else. Why start being nasty about it?

Stewpot, your issue appears to be with parents who try and bring the treat into school and exclude some children, so why not take the matter up with people who do that not people who don't. Occasionally throughout the school term I take my own children with one friend each to the pictures or out to eat,would you have an issue with this?

Of course you wouldn't because its something that's quite normal for indervidualls to do its not really any different to comfy sorting a away from school out of school hours and no where near the school site outing?

If you check the talk rules you will find its against the rules to openly call someone a troll or sock puppet its also very rude.

JenaiMorris · 18/03/2013 11:21

The whole venue plot thickens!

As an aside, I couldn't give a stuff if comfy had been sockpuppetting here. At lease she hasn't been spiteful.

Original poster
Sunnymeg · 18/03/2013 13:05

I've had a reply back, with a copy to three other mums, who had all contacted her as well. She says we shouldn't bitch as she is the only one who offered to organize anything, and she used family contacts (!) to get a good deal on a meal and disco at the play centre. This is the first time a disco has been mentioned!

I have emailed back and said I meant no offence, but I really don't know what is being planned, and if it means I have to pay £50, it would be best to leave DS out of the numbers.

OP posts:
Sugarice · 18/03/2013 13:10

Sunny, ooh she's a touch defensive isn't she?

I wouldn't pay £50 for that either, even with a disco thrown in, witwoo and hip hip hooray and all that! Hmm

IneedAsockamnesty · 18/03/2013 13:11

£50 is not a good deal, she's either stupid or lying

Fillyjonk75 · 18/03/2013 13:12

The point is, regardless of what anyone thinks about limos and proms etc the organiser has gone ahead and booked things without keeping people informed and doubled the cost. Probably most of the parents will be of the same mind as the OP and not go ahead.

What I would do is go with what the school organise and just get together with the mums of DDs' closest friends and sort something out with them.

Original poster
Sunnymeg · 18/03/2013 13:14

I'm a bit peed off about the comment about not organizing anything. I'm the Year 6 rep on the PTA committee, and I'll be up to my eyes organizing the summer barbeque from May onwards!!

OP posts:
Sugarice · 18/03/2013 13:17

She's being defensive because she went ahead and booked this without checking with you and the other Mums if you were in agreement and probably realises now that that plan is going to go up shit creek. Hmm.

Ignore her, she's an idiot for not checking first!

shewhowines · 18/03/2013 13:23

So there are only 13 children in the year.

4 of you independently e-mailed her, she makes 5.

Mmmm this could be a vey expensive mistake on her part. Lets hope she can get her money back if she's paid deposits.

shewhowines · 18/03/2013 13:25

Why would 13 kids need a disco anyway?

Not much of an atmosphere there then.

gymmummy64 · 18/03/2013 13:26

I have one DD who has left primary and one who will do so next year. Limos have never ever been mentioned.

However, I wanted to comment on all the posters who seem baffled as to why kids would want to ride in a limo and who are saying this could only come from their parents. Neither of my DDs are the sort who like dressing up as pop stars, DD2 particularly would absolutely hate it. However, both would LOVE to go in a limo and have wanted to for ages. I can see why - they look great! They are long! They are cool! Blacked out windows look way cooler than our car windows which are usually steamed up with dog breath. Neither of my DDs are thinking of celebs, that really isn't a connection they would make. They just think the cars look cool. DD2 would also really like to ride in a tank. The highlight of a recent weekend in Europe for both of them was going on a double decker train, there was wild excitement when it arrived. Unusual transport is FUN, not a sign of terminal decadence!

I have been in a limo once, about 5 years ago and came straight out again - far too claustrophobic for me. Neither DD has ever heard me speak highly of limos!

DeWe · 18/03/2013 13:28

Well on the plus side you now have names of three other mums who agree with you that you can organise a meal and limo (or tank if they'd prefer Grin) together.

Original poster
Sunnymeg · 18/03/2013 16:21

Well it was fun at the school gates this afternoon (not!!) After quite a bit of argy bargy, it has been decided to have party games with sandwiches, jelly and ice cream at the village hall, followed by a ride in the limo. This means we will honour her booking of the limo, albeit we want it slightly . It is £50 to book the village hall, we will all contribute food and I am going to do the games, with one of the other Mums.

If the limo company can't accommodate the change of time, and keep the deposit we will all cough up one thirteenth of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sunnymeg · 18/03/2013 16:22

Sorry should read we want the limo later!!

OP posts:
GreenShadow · 18/03/2013 16:52

Glad to hear that this has been sorted out.

We just had ours in a village hall - lovely, emotional evening.

Like you, parent's provided the food but instead if games, had a small disco. We had a Hawaiian theme - girls in grass skirts (over shorts), boys in loud, flowery shirts (or the brave one with a pair of halved coconuts on their chest!). Gave them all flower garlands as they came in.
One dad took a group photo near the start, then dashed home and managed to print A4 copies for every child by the end.

Flisspaps · 18/03/2013 16:54

Excellent - that sounds much more appropriate!

INeverSaidThat · 18/03/2013 17:00

That sounds good.
I bet you were glad that some of the other Mums were annoyed about it too.
The village hall sounds good. I don't think it would matter if the limo turned up in te middle of the event. The kids won't care. Grin. It will give the parents a chance to sit down for half an or or so.

Groovee · 18/03/2013 17:32

That's even worse that the girls get the limos and boys go in hummers. What parents agree to this?

Because we only had so many girls and more boys. It was cheaper for the girls to get limo's for their numbers and the boys to have hummers. The girls were picked out the hat for the 3 limo's and the boys were mixed up between the 2 hummers. 2 parents did the whole year group when we realised the issues in numbers as it meant the boys would need more transport in one class than the other. It worked well and everyone was happy.

twinklesparkles · 18/03/2013 18:45

Hang on... I'm confused it doesn't take much

Is comfy the lady who organised sunnys ds's school party??
Do they know eachother? Same school?

Or is comfy just a random person who got her knickers in a twist?