To expect people to take there shoes off? Sorry rant ahead!

[Damash12]

We've recently had a new carpet and it's not f@@;ing rocket science to see we have added a shoe rack near the back door but why do people look at you with a put out expression when they ask the question "do I need to take my shoes off?" and you reply "yes". And what's worse is those that know but still choose to walk in and just not bother or the best one, those that keep their shoes on and bloody tip toe around the place, like that makes it ok. I've actually had 1 visitor roll there eyes when I've asked them to come round the back, it's about 5 yards FFS!! Rant over!

Keep shoes on feet-I don't put them on the sofas!

Grew up in a shoes-on house. Now have cream carpet and young child. Now a shoes-off house because a) I don't like people tramping their disgusting pavement dirt/mud/water into my home, b) it pisses me off that I have to clean up after them and c) it's my house! I do ask if people want slippers, though, as I want them to be comfortable and to feel warm. My DF has a bad back so I take off his shoes for him and put on his slippers for him when he comes over.

If I go to a house where the occupants are shoes-on, I'll keep mine on, as I don't like walking around picking up bits of their shoe dirt on my socks or slippers!

socks or tights, I meant. But I have now started to take slippers for me and DD.

So how would you feel if you visited a Muslim or Asian persons house where it's usually expected to remove shoes - would you all feel insulted or uncomfortable? Would be interesting to see a study on world show etiquette. I would imagine the majority take their shoes off.

You'll never throw a good party if the Jimmy Choos ( or Top Shop) heels have to be taken off at the door. Teenage boys trainers on the other hand are a different matter

I didn't say other people did or didn't judge feet, exotic. I said I didn't and said I was surprised to find that people do judge feet as this is the first time I've come across people describing feet as ugly. So while I gather now that people do judge feet, I was surprised by this fact and that's why I said "I've heard it all now".

I think it depends on what their flooring is like, too. I feel less comfortable walking without shoes on a stone/tiled/wooden floor than on carpet, as they're generally cold. I wear two pairs of socks to visit some friends (who are shoes off people). If I had a cold floor, I might rethink my shoes-off rule, but my carpet is nice and warm (and clean).

I got three quarters of the way through and thought that we hadn't had the "dog crap and crawling babies" reason yet but then it arrived!

I have severe arthritis in my feet and it fucking hurts to walk barefoot. It takes me forever to get shoes on and off too, so I have to do that awkward hoping thing and wishing I was at least allowed to sit down. I used to babysit for the kids of the most anal woman on the planet. I took slippers with me because I wasn't allowed shoes on her laminate flooring and she checked the soles of my slippers for cleanliness every single time!

So how would you feel if you visited a Muslim or Asian persons house where it's usually expected to remove shoes

When in Rome...............
You follow the culture.
It is not part of our culture. Keeping Up Appearances was a comedy because Hyacinth Bucket wasn't normal! Her guests were very uncomfortable, but her house was very clean and tidy. No one visited unless they were press ganged!

I've been to plenty a good party where everyone was barefoot, not a Jimmy Choo in sight - unless they were left in the pile at the front door.

I always take my shoes off in my house as I'm relaxing but I wouldn't expect others too. I don't like going to houses where I have to take my shoes off. I'm a grown up!
What about if you have a dinner party of any kind of party where you want people to dress up. Shoes are often part of the outfit!
Some people believe asking people to remove their shoes is 'posh' when the reality is it is anything but posh!

crawldoll Nah, my post was precipitated by another post, about a quarter of the way in.

I grew up in a house where we had to take our shoes off, when we got in...but not necessarily immediately you walked through the front door!!
But it was considered rude to ask a guest to take them off...unless they were close family, and had probably brought their own slippers anyway,because they were staying a bit longer than a visitor.

The reason why I LOVE these threads is because many of the shoes off people are not doing it for cultural reasons but for carpet worshipping reasons. I respect culture. I also respect all the people I am visiting and would take my shoes off for the PFC people but I would inwardly judge them.

everyone wipes their feet. People in silly heels or ballet flats who have clearly been nowhere except the shops can keep them on - unless the heels will damage flooring. Ditto the elderly or disabled who are unlikely to have been hillwalking.

people with a life who have been on grass or mud, or walked further than from car to shop, take off their trainers which can NEVER be wiped free of mud on just a doormat.

Judge away. Judge me for not having my own house. Judge me for having a deposit with the landlord which I will need back for my next house. Judge me for not being able to afford regular carpet cleaning. Judge me for living in a damp house anyway, in which I already have to spend money on battling the mould, for the sake of my children's lungs. Judge me for thusly wanting to avoid regularly soaking the carpet.

'What about if you have a dinner party of any kind of party where you want people to dress up. Shoes are often part of the outfit'

I wonder how people all over the world who go to dinner parties cope with taking their shoes off, fact is they don't give it a second thought and it's probably more common to take shoes off worldwide than keep them on so not a weird concept. I know in this country it is maybe mainly the norm and at least not unusual to keep your shoes on but I don't understand the snoty, superior comments saying people are rude to expect no shoes or they feel I insulted almost outraged, that people think they are posh etc. just smacks of little England syndrome.

Judge away. Judge me for not having my own house. Judge me for having a deposit with the landlord which I will need back for my next house. Judge me for not being able to afford regular carpet cleaning. Judge me for living in a damp house anyway, in which I already have to spend money on battling the mould, for the sake of my children's lungs. Judge me for thusly wanting to avoid regularly soaking the carpet.

Must you be such a martyr? I've already said I'd take my damn shoes off and if they were obviously dirty and wet, I wouldn't even have to be asked.

You also said you'd inwardly judge me. I thought I'd give you the full picture to judge on. It's not carpet-worshipping. It's motivated by the worship of filthy lucre. Get it right!

The reference to "regularly soaking the carpet" refers to Rug Doctors and their ilk, by the way. I had to put the heating on in June, to get it dry!

I think there's a bit of strange logic here. Some people have implied if its a cultural thing to take shoes off, they respect it and wouldn't mind taking their shoes off but if its for germs and hygiene they would inwardly be judging. A lot of other cultures that take shoes off do it because of hygiene and cleanliness and protecting the floor (like Japan) which are the same reasons a lot of us on this thread have given for having no shoes in our homes. It feels a bit odd to know that if I asked for shoes off if I was Japanese (even if I was living in the UK), I wouldn't be judged as it is culture and tradition but because I'm not Japanese, I'm a terrible host despite the reasons for shoes off being the same.

YABU

If you want guests to go shoeless in your home you should supply slippers it's rude to expect guests to sit with cold feet.

Op do you supply slippers? Last time I was asked to take my shoes off I willing did so and then cut my foot on glass on the floor.

Therefore I am now happy to take my shoes of where ever asked as long as slippers are supplied for me to protect my totsies

Well, this is like vegetarianism. There's a lot of people who think it's more important to respect the opinion of someone who simply doesn't eat meat because they were raised in a non-meat-eating culture, than the feelings of someone who has genuinely thought about it and has arrived at the decision independently.

I started a thread recently asking if it would be bonkers to cut the feet off all my tights (was suffering from toe-hole strangulation) and wear them with socks.

Was informed by a lovely poster that as no one knew what was under boots then it was indeed a perfectly reasonable idea.

I'd feel such a numpty now taking my boots off in someone's house and exposing my jaggedy cut footless tights and goldfish socks.

I have to admit that I avoid one friend's house because she makes you take shoes off and her laminate is always freezing cold. Can't stay more than a few minutes. Mind, she also makes her son (9) take his clothes off the second he gets in and wander about in his vest and pants - even when he has mates over.

:(