to not want heavy drinking friends to drink us dry.

[ROUS]

We're hosting a day time party for a large group of friends. We're generous hosts but last year one couple used the opportunity to drink a lot more then everyone else.

From a few recent comments I know that booze dominates their lives: not-drinking nights, hiding drink, last minute supermarket runs, the 'horror' of accidentally buying low alcohol wine, etc

How can I 'contain' their consumption whilst not denying the larger group or am I being an unreasonable host and I should just see it as the price of their company?

just limit the alcohol you put out,once its gone its gone!

Someoftheabove Did the OP mention them behaving badly or passing out on the bathroom floor...? No, thought not. She was complaining about the amount of her alcohol they drank, not how they were behaving.

If you are going to host a party, host it, don't count drinks and make notes of who is drinking how much, it's just tight and nasty.

IF you want them there then invite them, if you don't want them there don't invite them - it's not complicated.

Not sure they sound 'fun' - but then I am was a bit cross at being described as 'boring' by an alcoholic ex of mine...after he left me of course...

Only provide enough alcohol for each adult to have one or two drinks each. Plenty of people probably won't want to drink in the day time anyway. If it is the sort of event that you weren't planning to serve alcohol at (children's party?) then don't have any at all!

I would never go anywhere an expect to be given alcohol if I hadn't brought some of my own as a contribution.

Rooney I always find people defend their level of alcohol consumption by accusing others of being boring. I find drunks clumsy, tedious, emotionally incontinent and poor company. They can find me boring and we'll happily avoid each other.

I drink. I just drink in moderation

I wouldn't expect a host to provide all the alcohol - that would be an expensive party to put on.

I'd say on the invite, 'We'll provide some beers and soft drinks'. Then the other guests could bring along their own favourite tipple. If you were feeling particularly kind a bottle of Pimms goes a long way.

I don't think it's 'tight or nasty' to make a mental note of the piss takers. They'll always be the tight wads who bring nothing/the cheapest/minimum amount and then go to town on other peoples generosity.

If they're coming to yours, how are they getting home? Hope they're not driving.

If it's a family type do with kids there as well, at lunchtime, I'd be tempted not to provide alcohol. Just tell everyone to bring their own if they want to drink?

...don't count drinks and make notes of who is drinking how much, it's just tight and nasty.

Just a thought but do you perhaps drink a lot and get upset when people notice, MyHead?

Myheadwasinthesand
Alcohol is really expensive. It's rude to expect other people to pay for your consumption if you drink far more than average. Just like if someone takes you out to dinner and they're picking cheap options, it's rude to order 3 courses of the most expensive things on the menu.

Are they embarassing? Aggressive? Slurring? falling over? Innappropriate etc?

I only ask because different people can consume different amounts. I know i can drink loads more than a lot of people before it has as much effect. I have often had to carry people home after i've had 3 times what they have drunk and people always presume i'm sober. If that is the case i personally wouldn't worry, unless you are worried about the cost. If of course, they behave poorly then that's a different matter.

myhead - it was a joke. Of course she didn't say those things. Jeez.

I was thinking YABU until you said thet dranks 2 bottles of wine each plus beer at lunch

I can put it away but that's

Don't invite them?

I always operate a bring your own booze policy. Of course, I supply a couple of extra bottles of wine, and always have mixers, but as I've said it upfront, no one can complain if they don't bring enough.

I also feel horror at buying low alcohol wine, because usually it's rank (whatever anyone might say, it's bloody rank if you adore wine!)

My brother struggles with drink, he gets drunk after 2 pints (bless him, I feel for him not being able to just have a couple of pints and remain normal!) and then carries on all night. He'd never choose to drink spirits when he's sober because spirits turn him into a complete dick. When he comes to visit, he brings cider, I put a couple of cans I've bought in the fridge "for him" but MY tipple (usually a spirit - white - gin/tequilla/vodka etc) is hidden and never on show.

I can't stop him drinking, I CAN stop him drinking mine, and the only way to do that with someone who's drunk is to make sure they don't know it's there.

YANBU for feeling annoyed. YABU to using logic when dealing with anyone who's had a drink.

Agree with MrsKoala my DH, and my best friend can drink an UNBELIEVABLE amount and I wouldn't even notice they're pissed... not saying it's healthy, but for DH to feel that lovely warm feeling (not pissed but happy) he'd probably have to drink 4 pints to my 1, and I disctinctly remember my best mate downing a LITRE of bacardi in one (very long to be fair) night when camping, she was up at 6am the next day cooking breakfast and wanted to go on a long walk, whilst me and my 1 bottle of wine needed a day in bed to recover.

From a phsyical damage PoV it's probably not advisable but this is life, and life tends to make certain rules and guidelines not very workable.

You could start with a couple of jugs of Pimms. You can then make more when you notice other people are running low.

Or just not have booze altogether and do more of an afternoon tea kind of thing, with posh teas, little cakes and sandwiches with the crusts cut off.

Personally, I just wouldn't invite them. They sound like more trouble than they're worth.

If it starts mid morning then even the hangers on will be gone by tea time if they have kids there. I would just not bring out any beers and if the piss takers ask say that you dont have any booze in. I bet they will be the first out of the door!

I drink and am generous when it comes to hosting (I am the person who looks at a table about to collapse under the weight of bottles and say "Is there enough?") but I do resent piss takers. I know one in particular who does this and he is rarely invited to house parties anymore, just to events where we all go out. Greediness is a nasty trait whether it be money, food or booze, the end result is that people think less of you.

use the perfectly sensible reason of driving & alcohol not mixing for offering lots of soft drinks & juices first. After an hour or so put the alcohol out (preferably after food) that way you can make the alcohol last longer. Theres a good selection of grown up soft drinks now.

Oh and hide any booze you do have. One memorable party where the host was trying to get rid of the piss taker wind things down by saying the booze was almost gone and did anyone want a coffee, ended with the piss taker looking in their drinks cabinet and saying that it was ok, there was still plenty of booze, and caning their spirits despite it being a wine and beer party.

I would not offer booze at all to start with, if you bring out a couple of jugs of pimms, then you will look odd if you don't continue to bring it out, whereas starting mid morning and offering soft drinks, tea coffee etc will set a different tone.

Also reconsider inviting them if you are skint, if you can't afford to provide the sort of quantities for them, then you will just have to not have them over. Or if you have the money, buy the booze you think should be enough, then an extra crate of wine and box of beers just for htem, because that sounds like the sort of quantities you are looking at.

BTW - hiding drinks??? sounds v bad.

I dont see that there needs to be beers at this event at all. A day time thing starting mid morning doesnt need booze does it?

also, do they host regularly or are the sort of drinkers who basically take from others? When you go out for lunch, do they still expect the full bill to be split when you'd only had 1/2 a bottle of wine between you and they'd had 4 bottles plus other drinks?

People like this tend to think they are fun, but other people tend to think they are a bit user-ish.

Reminds me of the fun bobby episode in friends.

If there are lots of dc around it'll bse easier to keep it teetotal.

Don't your friends bring booze to a party? I couldn't turn up to a party without bringing a bottle of wine and some beer.

If I had the vaguest inkling that there would be booze served at the party I would bring a bottle.