To ask if people judge single mums for not working?

[PigsCanSoar]

I have a 11 m/o, and am a 22 year old single mum. I have handed in my notice to work now, as I don't feel he is ready to be left yet. He has always been very clingy, he will happily go off and play with anyone if I am there, but as soon as I leave the room he will just cry and cry.
He is also still breastfeeding every 2-3 hours, and ideally I would like to let him self wean up until 2.

I have no doubts about this being best for DS, and am planning to stay with him until 2 then look for a job again, but I just feel a bit anxious about actually telling people this, as since he was born it seems to have been constant "so when are you going back to work then" off everyone.

I am very lucky to be back living with my mum, so money isn't much of an issue as this will just postpone moving out for a bit.
So there's no necessity to leave him before he's ready, but I just feel like I'll look "lazy" for not going back yet.

Anyhow, I must bow out...the shops call. Now that should please both Gideon and Eddie .

I wonder how people who judge sahp's receiving benefit can sleep at night. Unless you lack education you know that a Conservative gov (which we have, don't kid yourselves), historically support and encourage the wealthy to gain more wealth at the expense of the poor.
So to support cuts in welfare you are supporting this ethos.
The rich businesses including bankers have created the problems we have here not people receiving welfare benefits, or tax credits.
There are still people significantly richer than the majority receiving child BENEFIT, yet they believe this is ok for some reason, whilst poorer people shouldn't receive benefit.
They also seem to think that they pay for benefit for others, when the money they pay in tax goes to fund the infrastructure of the country and other countries throughout the world. Its quite laughable really to see how these people justify the guilt they must feel, being so rich and watching the poor suffer.

Frankly give you're an unwaged housewife youve no particular basis to opine how working people taxes should support op choosing to give up work

morethan They also seem to think that they pay for benefit for others, when the money they pay in tax goes to fund the infrastructure of the country and other countries throughout the world.

the amount we give away to other countries is a small part of the whole...yes the HRT payers pay for the schools, the hospitals, the roads, the welfare system and everything else.

so there really is very little for them to feel guilty about, as long as they pay their taxes.

morethanpotatoprints I agree. I asked back in the thread whether anybody in receipt of child benefit feels ashamed or entitled - funnily enough nobody has replied to that.

It's awful that the role of looking after your own child is so undervalued in society and looked down on like some kind of lazy lifestyle choice.

scottish

Oh great, sahm brings her children up and now isn't entitled to an opinion on an open forum Marvelous only on Mnet.

Did you receive child benefit before it was capped scottish?

I am also not an unwaged housewife, by definition. I'm sure I don't do any more housewifey type of duties than you do, and my dh pays me wages.

I also H.ed my dd so I save you, the tax payer money as I don't take a school place.

Also with the shortage of school places as the first topic of conversation in active, it will be interesting to see what 2 parents working will do when their dc have no school.
I don't think the economy can cope with 2 parents working, it is selfish too when there is a shortage of jobs, and families with both parents unemployed.

Two adults working is selfish.priceless.complete hippy guff
Dp and I have professional qualifications,our working contributes vocationally and financially
Selfish as we taking 2jobs?anyone who thinks they can step into my job..feel free.get the degrees,the pg,the post qualifying experience...put @10yr aside to get there

If OP is living with her Mum-what benefits will she be entitled to?

i should think child benefit, income support, child tax credit.

free prescritions,free dentist, free school meals

Ok potato,you've said 2adult working is selfish when other families have 2unemployed?
Are you suggesting one of the unemployed be compelled to take a job vacated by the 2job household
How would you do this?compulsion?how would you fil immediate skills gap this would cause?

Imagine impact upon retail,nhs,service industry,business if working adults who selfishly are in a 2job relationship were forced to give up 1job to unemployed

You've said you work?your dh works. So which one of you two will give up work?given you think 2adults working is selfish

My boss is a single parent she works... But people moan that she works and misses time with her son. you can never win.

Scottish,

I too have qualifications inc a degree, a masters, PgCE, oh and the exec diploma in management from CMI.
I had more than 10 years exp before I left to raise dc.
I'm sure its not in the same field as you, but don't kid yourself you are not indispensable.
I do think you are selfish to take 2 jobs, especially when you constantly belittle those who choose a different lifestyle to yourself.

This thread is quite perplexing. People are quite free to choose any lifestyle they want. But as long as they don't expect other taxpayers to pay for it. That is why the Labour government didn't get in. (I did vote for them by the way. Who knows why.) But I totally approve of this government's attempt to reign in the gigantic welfare budget. Benefit is for those people in need. Or who have lost their jobs or who cannot work. Not for people who choose not to work. That's my opinion.

"I don't think the economy can cope with 2 parents working, it is selfish too when there is a shortage of jobs, and families with both parents unemployed"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Answer the question,will you compulsorily force adult to relinquish job for unemployed
What about skill gap?how will you address this?if you and dp work who will give up job?
Why is 2working adult selfish?

And you have no intention of ever working? Really? Until you die? Or was that just a wind up morethanpotatoprints?

Potato if dp pays you salary do you work?are you employed?

Potato I hope you're paying tax on your "salary". Does he allow you holiday from your "job". Hope that's paid too - you're entitled to holiday pay and sick pay too. What about a pension - hope he's set one up for you and paying contributions.

Allnew.

What do you think will happen to all those people being forced to look for work to gain tax credits/ UC? There are not enough jobs to support 2 parents working. They are still going to receive benefit as there are no jobs because selfish families have two. Oh, they will still be called names though and belittled as the scroungers of society.

Anyway, I have to go now as KS2 English beckons, then I have to collect my free prescription.

morethan - you do live in the south east or London? or a cheaper part of the country?

morethan - I think you're time would be better spent taking an economics class

Nothing is free morethanpotatoprints. Somebody somewhere is paying for your prescrption.

Oh lol,potato are you really sticking to the 2working adults selfish line.you've backed self into corner
So if 2working is selfish does one worker relinquish a job?will it be compulsory
The recipient of the recently vacated job,will they have choice in area of employment or pot luck?

Wallison Labour did leave It in a mess. Gorden Brown was one of the most dangerous MPs we have ha the unfortunate pleasure of havin in power. He spent spent spent even after he knew in 2006/2007/2008 that the country was heading for a serious mess. Why, because he was hoping to buy his way into the PM seat..

Anyway, the past is the past. We need to sort the mess we are in and borrowing more money is not the answer..

I had absolutely no idea that you could claim anything if you were living with parents & not available for work!