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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask who should pay for replacement guitar?

174 replies

SoldierKatnissEverdeen · 14/03/2013 18:55

Just want to canvass your opinions on the following situation...have tried to write the post without letting on which side I am coming from to get an unbiased opinion.

Today at school a guitar got broken. The child who owns the guitar is very upset. The child who broke the guitar is also upset. Both children are in yr 5 so aged 9 or 10.

The guitar was broken by a child doing that thing that boys do, of running, dropping to his knees and skidding. Didnt have enough control to stop himself and ended up falling forward with his full body weight on the guitar snapping it where the neck meets the body. It was a complete accident rather than a malicious act. The child apologised without any prompting.

The guitar was in the designated place, which tbh wasn't a great place. There was a teacher in the hall at the time, who didnt see it happen. I expect she was dealing with other children at the time.

The teacher does not know what the sch policy is for this type of situation and the head was unavailable.

My query to you wise lot, is who should pay for the guitar to be replaced?

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 14/03/2013 20:11

Shocked at your "blame the school" attitude, lougle. Yes, it's always the school's fault, isn't it? Hmm I bet you're (or will become) the stereotypical nightmare parent who marches into school if their child is in trouble and refuses to accept responsibility for their child's behaviour in school.

I would be horrified if my child ever misbehaved in school as i have brought my kids up well and they know how to behave. if my child knowingly broke the rules i would back the school up all the way. Then my child would also be in more trouble once they got home.

Why are we getting these parents on a parenting site who refuse to take responsibility for their children's behaviour???

BeerTricksPotter · 14/03/2013 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scholes34 · 14/03/2013 20:14

Was it in the place the school tells you to leave instruments? It doesn't sound safe at all. Our primary school had a separate room where instruments were carefully stored and it was always the last thing you picked up before leaving school.

HollyBerryBush · 14/03/2013 20:15

Not everyone has the affordability to pay - the Op herself states its £80 but she cant afford to replace it herself. How would you expect another parent to pay for an accident? It would be nice if they could, but the choice of putting a meal on the table or paying for a guitar, I know which I'd choose.

As I said, insurance should cover it. The article is clearly being transported either by car or foot, and accidents happen. That is what insurance is for.

littlepeas · 14/03/2013 20:17

Things like this make me feel all down in the dumps tbh. I can't believe that there are people out there who try to wriggle out of paying for something broken by their child. They should be thinking 'my ds broke that little girl's guitar, she is upset, it is our responsibility to replace it', but instead they are thinking, 'bugger, how can I get out of paying for that?'. Sad sad sad.

RustyBear · 14/03/2013 20:17

Our school insurance policy has an excess of £250, so if you ask the school to pay, it will probably come out of school funds.

CloudsAndTrees · 14/03/2013 20:18

Was the guitar being used for a school thing, or for a private lesson facilitated by the school?

I think this makes a big difference, because the school is obliged to provide a properly safe place if they are asking parents to send in expensive equipment of any kind. If the instrument was taken in to school for a private lesson, then the parents of the child having the lesson have to accept that there is some risk in sending the instrument in. Especially if it wasn't in a hard case.

I do think that you have to accept some of the blame if you let something go into school without adequate protection.

Also, was this a designated area where lots if instruments are going to be, or is it just where the choir chooses to leave their suff while they are singing?

The more I think about this, the more I think it's unfair that the boys parents should have to pay the full cost.

Talkinpeace · 14/03/2013 20:19

Get school to lend her one for lessons for now : and review their hall discipline rules

then get them to mediate and work out a way for the breakers mother to replace it

and go have a look at Cash-converters as there are some surprisingly good instruments in there

Scholes34 · 14/03/2013 20:20

You can get an acoustic guitar from Argos for about £35.

Chandon · 14/03/2013 20:21

I woud expect the parents of the boy who broke it to pay, it shoud probably go through the school (ht) though.

GreatUncleEddie · 14/03/2013 20:25

You can, but you'd be better paying the same for a better quality second hand one, the very cheap ones don't hold their tune very well

Talkinpeace · 14/03/2013 20:26

Scholes and it sounds it.
Seriously, nothing under about £150 new is worth having for music lessons in guitars.
Any decent music shop will check out your purchase, and Cash Converters do 30 day no quibble refunds

I'm just looking at flutes for DD and know that for grade 7 the budget has to be around £1000 GULP

ReallyTired · 14/03/2013 20:27

It is irrelevent that it was an accident. The boy who broke the guitar was careless and his parents should pay the damage. How you get the parents to pay is another matter.

A typical school guitar costs roughly £50 for a reasonably decent one like a Valencia. This is a 3/4 Valencia at a good price.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/VALENCIA-3-4-CLASSICAL-STUDENT-GUITAR-/290600508619?pt=UK_Musical_Instruments_Guitars_CV&hash=item43a923dccb

Very few people insure school guitars becuase they value is low.

zwischenzug · 14/03/2013 20:30

Of course the parents of the child who broke the guitar should pay for it. My 3 year old knows better than to break other peoples things, a 10 year old isn't even close to being young enough to avoid responsibility.

I wouldn't just let it go if I were you.

clam · 14/03/2013 20:33

I highly doubt that the other parent will cough up, but you need to hand it over to the school to sort out. Complain - loudly - and insist that it is replaced. Ultimately, they will either have to "persuade" the other parent to contribute, or they'll have to fund a replacement themselves. Stick with it. They're probably hoping you cave quietly and let it go. Don't.

Kithulu · 14/03/2013 20:33

Well I think it is up to the parents of the boy who's guitar it is to pay. They chose to let him take the guitar into school. They know it could possibly get broken in many different ways. It's just a risk you take.

I would never even consider asking other child's parents to pay. Lots of families in my area are on benefits and there is no way they could afford to pay for a guitar - or lessons for that matter.

Robinredboobs · 14/03/2013 20:33

OP, is the break clean (ie the two parts just coming apart) or are there cracks and splinters? If the former could I suggest you take it to an independent music shop or luthier. It may be very easy and cheap to repair - at least worth an enquiry.

In any case if it needs to be replaced or repaired I think the accident boy should pay - but it sounds like you won't get far with that if the mother came over all defensive, best of luck!

Oh and please don't buy a 35 pound Argos guitar, I've played a handful of great sounding guitars at around the 100 mark but they are rare (you'd be best to get a good 2nd hand one for that price) anything under that is going to sound like shite and your daughter will lose interest.

Also hard cases are generally moulded for particular shaped guitars - they could end up costing you more than the actual instrument, a good alternative would be a semi rigid case, but again these can be pricey if you buy new.

mrsjay · 14/03/2013 20:36

I think the boys parents should offer to replace it and the boy should be doing chores from now till whenever to help pay for it,

HollyBerryBush · 14/03/2013 20:37

Can I ask, how you are going to make the parent pay if there is no affordabity to pay?

Perhaps she should sell a kidney?

clam · 14/03/2013 20:38

For the record, we've had a couple of guitars damaged at our school over the years. The school had to pay, and the Head subsequently got very particular about hassling teachers to make jolly sure they were kept safely as he was fed up with forking out.

GirlOutNumbered · 14/03/2013 20:41

The boy who broke it should pay, but probably the school will end up playing.

Taking a guitar thats not yours and doing a powers slide is not behaviour I would expect of our 10 year old, it was stupid and the inevitable happened.

zwischenzug · 14/03/2013 20:46

Can I ask, how you are going to make the parent pay if there is no affordabity to pay?

Child benefit is £81.20 a month, the approximate cost quoted by the OP. Or they could sell something. If the parent can afford school uniforms and stuff, they can afford £80-100 for a guitar. Maybe not comfortably, but they can. And there's always eBay.

deleted203 · 14/03/2013 20:50

The boy who broke it should pay. FWIW I agree completely with clam - contact the school with a bill for the broken guitar and tell them you expect it to be settled. The school can either pay for it themselves or bill the other parent. It is likely that they will end up having to fund it - but it is not your responsibility to try and get the money from this other woman. It is theirs. You simply need your DDs guitar replacing as it was damaged whilst in the school's designated place, and it is therefore the school's responsibility to do so. It is then up to them to charge the other parent for the damage their child caused whilst on school premises.

digerd · 14/03/2013 20:51

Quick witted at getting out of the blame is that mother. My immediate reaction would have been to tell DC off for behaving recklessly in the school corridor and causing the damage. Then apologise profusely.

That mother has had some practice in these matters. Always the victim's fault.

She will get away with not paying a penny and be smug about it.

In other countries parents are legally responsible for the actions of their DC.

HollyBerryBush · 14/03/2013 20:53

Child benefit is £81.20 a month

If the parent can afford school uniforms

amazing logic there.