NHS still wasting money

[mollymole]

I think I may be being unreasonable so I will put it out to you all to see what you think - my dear friend's mother has lost her life to cancer - my friend had booked 2 weeks paid annual leave, on the 2nd day her mother sadly died. her 2 weeks annual leave has been changed to 2 weeks paid compassionate leave
and then the 2 weeks leave she had booked has been transferred to tag after the compassionate leave has ended.
Whilst it is truly sad that her mother has died why are the NHS spending their money in this way when they are supposed to be strapped for cash ?

I don't think the OP should be getting such a mauling. when her DM died she got 1 day (unpaid?). she is not unfamiliar with grief, just got dealt with very differently at work.

If her friend had got 1 day (unpaid?) would that have made the op's grief any less retrospectively?

Envy is a very unattractive emotion. It's not surprising that other people are repelled by it, particularly when it's dressed up as concern for the economy.

Faster then she needs to have called the post something like "AIBU to be jealous of the amount of compassionate leave my friend got?" not to express her loss in terms of her employer wasting money on compassionate leave.

...and there is so much compassion for the OP on this thread.....[sarcastic]

Just and

My parents died when I was four-my dad. And when I was sixteen- my mum. But I also have a step dad, and if he died I think I'd deserve every ounce of compassionate leave since he has been a full time dad since I was six years old, and guess what, holiday time is HOLIDAY LEAVE. Or unpaid leave or whatever. Having booked a holiday time off doesn't mean it suddenly invalidates compassionate leave. I think her employers are, at least, understanding, you,mon the other hand, are not.

I thought this was going to be about people pitching up at A&E because they stubbed their toe last wednesday...or about people requesting a dr visit for a sore throat, or about people casually missing dr appts etc etc

not about a poor woman whose mother's just died.

Thing is the big 'waste' of money in the nhs/hr problem is sickness absence which is often (as in all workplaces) related to low moral and stress. Giving people adequate compassionate leave makes people feel valued as part of a team and boost moral within a dept. this should cut costs overall. Your alternative to compassionate leave is people get signed of sick for potentially much longer than 2 weeks.

The NHS wastes a lot of money but it ain't on the frontline staff!

2 weeks compassionate leave is not standard in NHS but thankfully your friend has a compassionate caring boss.

Then again, many NHS staff are caring, comnpassionatge and committed (6Cs anyone?) often working with no breaks at all in a 13.5 hour shift - often working over the shift to get everything done. However according to the Daily Fail we are all lazy, wasters who are chained to a desk and don't do anything!!

Two weeks paid compassionate? In NHS maybe it's normal. Isn't outside in private world. Few days to week at first. Then few days maybe at funeral, but two whole working weeks? Not without a decent boss. :(

Bloody hell. If I knew knew how to do that biscuit thing you'd be getting my first one for this horrible OP.

I'm gobsmacked that you have the audacity to call yourself a friend to this poor woman and do all these helpful things when really you're thinking 'get back to work you lazy twat'.

My mum died recently. I work for the NHS. I didn't get any compassionate leave. I had to take sick leave and annual leave. I went back to work after 3 weeks which was way too soon ending up with me nearly having a nervous breakdown a month later.

You should be ashamed of yourself for this. Absolutely disgusting.

It's nice to have confirmation that people who work for the nhs do care about other people they work with and have to care for
I find this is often overlooked during media reports

My mum died recently. I work for the NHS. I didn't get any compassionate leave. I had to take sick leave and annual leave. I went back to work after 3 weeks which was way too soon ending up with me nearly having a nervous breakdown a month later.

Exactly the false economy I was talking about.

I'm sorry you had to go through this bitchdoctor

Ah, I see we've descended into the 'I get crap all and so should everyone else' school of argument.

If your employer gives you crap terms and conditions then get organised and fight to improve them. Don't carp on because someone else gets something better than you.

... and you also used 'still' in your thread title.

This is fucking unbelievable. The fact that you even have to ask if YABU.

You were treated badly. You should be really pleased for your friend that she has been dealt with so compassionately by her employer, instead of jealous. No use trying to defend yourself with all you have done for her.

Horrible, horrible, horrible. Dreadful attitude towards someone who has lost someone they loved.

I'm also an NHS employee - these things are always at the discretion of the manager, usually 3-5 days IME - two weeks is unusual.

But people react differently to grief, sometimes parents can be ill for a long time before a bereavement - the circumstances are so individual.

This is a very upsetting OP. I would hate to think any of my 'friends' secretly felt this way whilst they supposedly helped me.
Working for the NHS is crap. Yes, we have good pensions, annual leave, blardy blah. But we're also dealing with people at a traumatic time of their lives and as such, should be in tip top condition when possible.
To piss you off further- I not only insist on my employees taking their full compassionate allowance-I usually tack on an extra couple of days 'owed' to them that I'd forgotten to give them before then.
If I still feel they need time off rather than a supported return to work-I advise them to see their GP and have some time off sick. Why oh why can't we all just look out for each other eh?!

my employers give two weeks leave for immediate family (parents, children, partner, siblings) and one week for extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, niece/nephew, cousins). if someone does that and then chooses to take two weeks of their annual leave after that to have have a month off work, they have every right to do so!

OP and Novemberish