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AIBU?

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Original poster

NHS still wasting money

115 replies

mollymole · 14/03/2013 16:01

I think I may be being unreasonable so I will put it out to you all to see what you think - my dear friend's mother has lost her life to cancer - my friend had booked 2 weeks paid annual leave, on the 2nd day her mother sadly died. her 2 weeks annual leave has been changed to 2 weeks paid compassionate leave
and then the 2 weeks leave she had booked has been transferred to tag after the compassionate leave has ended.
Whilst it is truly sad that her mother has died why are the NHS spending their money in this way when they are supposed to be strapped for cash ?

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 14/03/2013 16:20

Your 'dear friend' is bereaved - and your focus is on the 'wastefulness' of her employer? Your priorities are very suspect, m'dear.

FairyJen · 14/03/2013 16:21

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BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/03/2013 16:21

It actually makes this thread worse given the fact that you have lost your mother so know how bloody devastating it is.

LIZS · 14/03/2013 16:21

yabvu and bearing in mind when Easter falls this year it so probably as well for her to be off until afterwards now.

gimmeanaxe · 14/03/2013 16:21

you are using your friend's tragedy and her compassionate boss to bash the NHS? Really? YABU

Novemberish · 14/03/2013 16:22

ParistoBerlin - Yes, seriously. All because during a friendly conversation with colleagues I mentioned how my parents were considered unthinkably old to have a child in their generation which means that they are around 15-20 years old than the parents of most other people my age. I was called into her office 3 days later for a talk on "time management".

7 years later both parents are still going strong and I am proud to now work for an employer that values and looks after its staff. When the worst does happen, I know I will offered compassionate leave and not have to worry about how many days holiday I have in the bank.

pompompom · 14/03/2013 16:24

Then it's your employers that are being bastards, rather than the NHS wasting money. My employer would let me have as long as I needed.

Just how effective do you think someone is immediately following a family bereavement? Would you want a nurse/doctor/midwife who's had to go into work a day after his/her mother died because they weren't going to get paid?

also - what WhereYouLeftIt said. Hmm

teatrolley · 14/03/2013 16:25

So because you had a horrible boss when your mother died, which I'm very sorry for, you think it's unreasonable for employers to give generous compassionate leave?

I think that most decent employers would offer 3-5 days. The NHS is an exception because they deal with death and terminal illness every day. Staff will be expected to deal with that and offer comfort to patients facing their own death or dealing with the death of a family member.

You might want to think about asking MN to pull this thread.

ENormaSnob · 14/03/2013 16:26

Omfg? Seriously?

Original poster
mollymole · 14/03/2013 16:29

OK I am being unreasonable but I was only asking. FYI I have visited with her
everyday to take her daughter to nursery, cooked meals so that she can come home from making arrangements to a meal - been and done her shopping - washed her bereaved mother's clothing as the family found it too upsetting.
I was only asking about the compassionate leave because it is something I have not come across before.

OP posts:
BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/03/2013 16:31

and all those good deeds wiped out by one ridiculous comment!

pompompom · 14/03/2013 16:32

Then why did you phrase it as the NHS wasting money? Hmm

Binkybix · 14/03/2013 16:34

I was 'lucky' when my mum died unexpectedly, in that I was at Uni, so took some time out. I can''t imagine going back to work even after 2 weeks.

I can't believe that this is thing you think of when your friend is having such an awful time.

Sunnywithshowers · 14/03/2013 16:34

YABU, but you obviously know that. It's good that you asked here and not your friend, it sounds like you're doing a lot for her. I'm sorry that your employer is such an arse.

I lost my oldest friend to suicide and my then employer was brilliant - I had 5 days' compassionate leave. I will always be grateful to them for their kindness.

Binkybix · 14/03/2013 16:36

I see that you are doing lots to help you friend - and actions are the most important thing. I guess that it as just a weird thought that you had that you unfortunately decided to post on.

teatrolley · 14/03/2013 16:36

Compassionate leave is pretty much standard. I'm sorry you had such a bad employer.

To phrase the OP as 'the NHS wasting money' comes across as rather cold and unfeeling which I'm sure you're not.

This will trigger some harsh responses.

EuroShaggleton · 14/03/2013 16:36

I think the NHS wastes a lot of money.

I don't think that looking after an employee going through a traumatic time comes under that category. Also I'm pretty sure there was a legal case about being ill when you were supposed to be on holiday that said you could recoup the holiday time, so perhaps the NHS has been advised that the same should apply to compassionate leave?

tiredemma · 14/03/2013 16:38

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Sidge · 14/03/2013 16:39

I was a school nurse working in the NHS when my dad died.

I got a weeks compassionate leave, and then chose to go back to work even though I had been told to take another week if I needed.

I'd have been good for nothing if I'd been back to work within a few days - I was weepy, down and miserable. Can't imagine having to sit in a child protection conference feeling like that...

SolomanDaisy · 14/03/2013 16:39

And while you were washing her deceased mother's clothing, you were busy thinking 'you should get back to work and stop wasting NHS money'?

AnyFucker · 14/03/2013 16:41

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ChoudeBruxelles · 14/03/2013 16:41

Omg - have you ever lost anyone close to you? When my mum was ill and dying last year I was signed off sick and stayed off sick for nearly 6 weeks after her death.

Nancy66 · 14/03/2013 16:41

What a greedy bitch. She'll probably expect a graveyard worker to dig the whole for her mum's coffin as well when she could easily do it herself....another waste of tax payer's money.

tiredemma · 14/03/2013 16:42

if you was only questioning the compassionate leave why not start a thread like '

How much compassionate leave do you get at work'

you could then write a lovely statement about how the NHS has looked after your friend after her mums death.

rather than address it in the way that you have.

sleepyhead · 14/03/2013 16:45

Ugly thoughts op, very ugly.

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