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AIBU?

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Original poster

Why? Why does he not get it?

31 replies

grumpyinthemorning · 14/03/2013 11:06

I've had a fun morning. Woke up to find DS had pulled his nappy off and smeared poop everywhere. And then I get a letter about a reduction in housing and council tax benefit. Turns out they didn't realize I have a child. Even though I told them on every form I've ever filled out.

So I phone DP, just wanting to vent, and he seems to think I've got the arse about having to send an email and run some papers down to the council. Why doesn't he understand that I'm pissed off at routinely dealing with a shit-covered toddler and incompetent local authorities? Is it really so hard to grasp? He was telling me to just send the email, it's sorted then, they told me what I have to do, when all I want to do is cry a little at how crap my morning is.

I would love him to do a day in my life. Sitting in an office would be heaven compared to this.

OP posts:
DeepRedBetty · 14/03/2013 11:09
Brew

And a [high pressure hose] or a [steam cleaner] for ds's disgusting bottom.

Did DP do that really irritating soothing voice?

fluckered · 14/03/2013 11:10

perhaps he feels that dealing with cleaning up shit and sending an email would be heaven compared to his job. at the moment it does sound way better and guess what i am "sitting in an office".

KellyElly · 14/03/2013 11:12

perhaps he feels that dealing with cleaning up shit I couldn't imagine cleaning shit being heaven compared to any job, unless you were someone who unblocks drains then obvs you are dealing with much larger quantities of shit Grin

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/03/2013 11:12

Yep, I agree with Fluckered.....also sitting in an office.

Clean nappy - 5 mins (10 at a push)

Send email to counci (5 mins being generous)

Job done :)

MaryBS · 14/03/2013 11:13

I think men look to offer solutions rather than sympathy. An email is a solution to the one problem, and he hasn't a clue about the other, what to say or how to fix it.

Have a Brew

fluckered · 14/03/2013 11:13

its the time taken Kelly ... as Betty said job done in a few mins. i would seriously rather that.

kim147 · 14/03/2013 11:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fluckered · 14/03/2013 11:15

well think of this way .. presume you cleaned ds and perhaps sent the email and then posted here to vent he on the other hand probably hasnt given it a second thought as he has work to do!

catgirl1976 · 14/03/2013 11:17

I have only just realised that when I vent to DH and he says "what do you want me to do about it?" he is not being aresey, he is genuinely asking what action I would like him to take to assist me.

He doesn't get I just want him to listen, he thinks problem must mean solution required.

Vent away on here

PureQuintessence · 14/03/2013 11:18

There there.

Brew and breathe. Smile

Original poster
grumpyinthemorning · 14/03/2013 11:19

DeepRedBetty the voice you use with small children? Yeah Angry he said I was being a crazy person, getting all worked up.

fluckered, Betty it wasn't a five-minute nappy change. This was chuck him in the bath, take his mattress out and hose it down, put all his bedclothes in the machine mess. I'll trade, if you like?

OP posts:
HoHoHoNoYouDont · 14/03/2013 11:20

I'm sat in an office too. Our jobs are pretty much the same. This lot spout shit all day and fuck up their jobs like the council. Roll on 5.30 I say! Grin

fluckered · 14/03/2013 11:21

oh listen i know you want to vent but your not going to spend 7-8 hours a day doing that every day are ye. vent by all means but know when yabu if even a little. right break time over.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 14/03/2013 11:23

Grumpy -I do understand, been there when my DS was little but that's what happens when we have kids.

Office work can be stressful, it isn't just a case of sitting on your arse doing bugger all. You obv think DH has it easy??? He probably thinks you have it easy! Maybe when you phone him he had something important/stressful to deal with and hearing you on the phone going on about shitty nappies and emails just seemed a bit trivial.

Am sure he will be more sympathetic when he gets home :)

fluckered · 14/03/2013 11:25

what Betty said!

BabyMakesTheBellyGoRound · 14/03/2013 11:25

Poo smearing is meant to be a sign of great intelligence.

My local authority forgot I lived in my house and didn't include me when doing their calculations despite the fact that my name is on my house and they were sending the letters to me.

Original poster
grumpyinthemorning · 14/03/2013 11:27

He's actually not at work today.

I remember what working in an office was like, and I would rather be doing that, if only because I could think about the paycheck Smile. Of course, it'd still be me dealing with all this, so I guess I'd still lose...

OP posts:
Hopasholic · 14/03/2013 11:30

Sometimes you need to spell it out to them. If I have a rant or a vent my DH presumes I want a solution to the problem. Start your rant by saying 'I need to rant'. I then usually manage to be laughing at the end of the conversation rather than getting friggin infuriated that he's just gone, 'well just send them an email/ phone them back' blah blah blah
They do learn........ In time (17 years approx!) Grin
Sending you Thanks

fluckered · 14/03/2013 11:31

ah drip feed nicely done.

adeucalione · 14/03/2013 11:31

Where was he when you phoned him grumpy? Maybe you just caught him at a bad time - driving, queueing in a shop, arguing with a traffic warden, sitting in the doctor's surgery? I know I've been dismissive of DH before now, if he calls home at the wrong time. I'm sure he'll be sympathetic when you can discuss it in person.

everlong · 14/03/2013 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MorrisZapp · 14/03/2013 11:51

Of course sitting in an office is less stressful than dealing with shitty babies etc. I work full time and it's a breeze compared to weekends, where I have to wrestle with a lively two year old and leave my own needs for food/ rest/ toilet etc unattended to.

KellyElly · 14/03/2013 11:52

grumpyinthemorning I hear you. I had a right morning of it with DD and am now glad to be in my office for a rest. Even though work is pretty stressful at times it's a different kind of stress dealing with kids all day. At least when you are at work you can relax in your lunch break or go to the loo in peace. I rarely get to do any of those things on my own at home with a three year old. Sod the Brew have a Wine. It's nearly 12 Grin

Pigsmummy · 14/03/2013 11:53

Men don't do sympathy, go to them for a fix (albeit that you will most likely have to refix) go to friends or MN for some sympathy. Poor you, have a nice cuppa and biscuit.

catgirl1976 · 14/03/2013 11:54

It does rather depend on the office and what you do

I am currently signed off with stress

Being at home with a 15 month old is a breeze compared to my horrible job