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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be feel bitter watching one born every min

80 replies

Kannet · 13/03/2013 21:46

Cause all three women this week are pregnant by accident and my second round of IVF just failed. Not trying to attention seek just a bit pissed off and want to stamp my feet

OP posts:
newcastle34 · 13/03/2013 22:18

Yanbu. I remember after my mc criyng when I saw people with 2 dc. Not sure if it helps but we had fertility problems ourselves. Went on to have 3 dc naturally including 1 accident!

Whatsdoneisdoneisdone · 13/03/2013 22:19

18 months TTC...I know exactly how you feel.
YANBU.
I've had to stop watching one born. I couldn't take it.

Cuddlydragon · 13/03/2013 22:19

YANBU, bless you, I hope it works for you next time x

ipswichwitch · 13/03/2013 22:20

It's totally shit and very unfair.
One of our twin boys was stillborn 16 months ago and I had a MC 4 months ago, and I'm sad and a bit pissed off when I see others sailing through pregnancies without a care. You're perfectly entitled to feel that way and don't let anyone tell you different.
Here's hoping you get much better luck next time Thanks

roastednut · 13/03/2013 22:27

Yanbu I can't watch it either. Loads of friends are pregnant at the moment, even a casual friend I met on holiday years ago has just emailed me out of the blue after 3 years on fb to say how excited they are to be expecting a little girl on a few weeks!
After ivf and mc and now pushing 40 I really don't feel very positive anymore Sad

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 13/03/2013 22:32

YANBU

the whole baby making thing is just so disgustingly random, no fairness in it at all

I hope it happens for you soon x

Manda472 · 13/03/2013 22:37

I just wanted to say I've been where you are and it is a very dark place Hmm. We had 10 ivf goes in total, ist go worked and so did the last one! But in the middle was 2 m/c's and a chemical pregnancys and a whole lot of fails. I have always felt intense jealousy, hatred (I don't know) towards pregnant ladies and probably always will. I remember being on the tube going back to work during our ist go after being told they were probably going to stop tx due to lack of response, and a couple sitting opposite me were bickering. It was obvious she was suffering from morning sickness and he was annoying her, but I couldn't help thinking "you are so lucky, i would give anything to be feeling that rough".
But i can honestly say it never goes away but it does get easier. I still feel a twinge when I see a bump and I'm still packing away all my toddlers baby bits (just in case we did have another go!!!!!! Don't tell dh Wink) but I am finally at a point when I'm moving and closing that part of my life.
Looking back now that all happened to another person, I can't believe i did all that and carried on after so much upset but we do. A plan for me was always the thing that got me up in the morning, always planning for another go if my body would let me.
Not mumsnetty but sending you a big hug from someone who totally understands xxxxx

SorrelForbes · 13/03/2013 22:37

YANBU. I don't watch it anymore as it makes me feel too sad. TTC for two years and now over 40.

x

givemeaclue · 13/03/2013 22:39

Yanbu it sucks. Very hard. Can you give yourself a break from watching baby programs? I used to find it made it worse.IHope you find yourself on these one day but in meantime, masterchef is on?

Magimedi · 13/03/2013 22:40

YANBU.

I am lucky to have had the one I had - but oh how I longed for more.

And still long - at 57, fat chance- and OBEM makes me weepy every week.

I so hope it all works for you, soon, Kannet.

beginnings · 13/03/2013 22:46
Thanks

Go and have a good old weep and stomp Kannet and keep heart. DD was the result of a 4th go of IVF. I'm now 13 weeks with number 2 with no help at all. There's no accounting for mother bloody nature.

You're going through a horrible horrible time and you're entitled to whatever you're feeling.

Original poster
Kannet · 14/03/2013 08:25

Thanks everyone, sounds like quite a few of you have been thought the same and worse. Just to answer a few people I never normally watch this programme but thought it might make me feel more positive and that's it's all worth it in the end

OP posts:
wickedwitchofwaterloo · 14/03/2013 08:31

Stamp away.
I currently have a friend who accidentally fell pregnant recently, she wasn't sure for a while if she was going to keep it and she's just had a 12 scan and is all excited now.
I have been TTC for ages, had a failed IVF attempt that ended in severe OHSS and had a spontaneous natural pregnancy that ended in a MC.
She wasn't even trying.
I'm trying to support her as best I can as she needs a fair amount of emotional support etc but its really hard. Really, really hard. Sad

Original poster
Kannet · 14/03/2013 08:32

I think we are all entitled to our selfish moments x

OP posts:
fluffyraggies · 14/03/2013 08:36

Thanks and a hug OP. Hugs to everyone who is struggling.

I've been ttc without any luck for longer than i want to say, and after a the most promising and exciting cycle in the world (chart wise - charters will know what i mean) it looks like i'm about to come on today :( :( :(

I wouldn't watch OBEM - i'd be in tears every time :(

onyx72 · 14/03/2013 08:39

OP YANBU and I hope you conceive soon. I felt like that when trying to get pregnant so I understand the need to stamp one's feet...

But holly won't be the only person who is wondering why you would choose to watch a programme about giving birth when you are enduring the physical and emotional hell of fertility treatment.

onyx72 · 14/03/2013 08:40

Thanks fluffyraggies

HoobleDooble · 14/03/2013 08:42

I haven't watched the last couple of series, I was jealous enough when I did after having a crappy ECS and slow recovery after my son,but after 3 years of TTC with nothing but a MC to show for it, the programme now rips at my guts. I want a nice natural birth, I want to have another attempt at BF, I want to not be put on the mini pill which turned me into a vegetable and made them think I had PND, I just want another baby!

PickyPants40 · 14/03/2013 10:22

YANBU. I don't (can't) watch it because I won't ever have children, I am 41 now and even if it were medically possible my husband doesn't want another one. But I love my Step-son very much.

catgirl1976 · 14/03/2013 10:32

YABU at all

Life is not fair Thanks but don't give up hope

catgirl1976 · 14/03/2013 10:33

YANBU at all, that should obviously have said Blush

Tailtwister · 14/03/2013 10:36

YANBU at all OP. IVF is incredibly hard to go through and gutting when not successful. Took us 8 years and 3 rounds of IVF to conceive DS, so completely understand where you're coming from.

Mama1980 · 14/03/2013 10:45

Yanbu and Thanks
I can't watch it I've had two extremely prem deliveries 26 and 24 weeks and having had a emergency hysterectomy after the second. I get insanely jealous of mothers getting to cuddle their squishy newborns.
However my sons are healthy and I truly know ow icky I am.

GregBishopsBottomBitch · 14/03/2013 11:01

My DD's aunt, struggled to have kids and failed, it was so sad, and to think all the idiots who pop out babies just to get money.

wickedwitchofwaterloo · 14/03/2013 11:38

Thanks Kannett. I'm sorry for what you have been through too Thanks
It actually feels good to verbalise what I've been quietly feeling for the past few weeks Sad