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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think if you cant come then dont?

48 replies

Flojobunny · 13/03/2013 19:26

A group of us usually meet once a week. Previously we met at one friends house, last week I suggested we meet at mine then I don't need to book babysitter. Everyone happy with that. I spend all afternoon cleaning, buying food in etc.
Everyone due at half 7, just seen an email for usual hosting friend sent to everyone saying her DD is ill can we all go there.
They are due now and I've just ran round putting DC to bed etc and now I have no idea if anyone is coming.
Surely she have just said she couldn't make it, not rearranged the whole eve?

OP posts:
YesIamYourSisterInLaw · 13/03/2013 19:27

YANBU seems a bit underhand of her

wonderingsoul · 13/03/2013 19:28

i think shes a bit putt of with n ot being the host!

considering she and they know that you have to get a babysitter, which you wont possably have time to do now, if they dont turn up they are all being rude imo.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 13/03/2013 19:29

Phone round everyone and ask. Tell them that the first you knew of this was when you picked up the email just now, so you thought they were all coming to yours.

Quilty · 13/03/2013 19:32

YANBU - she should just say she can't make it this week and let everyone else carry on as planned.

Also email is a bit of a rubbish way for her to try and make a last minute change of plan, unless all of you check email very regularly I suppose.

MamaMumra · 13/03/2013 19:40

YANBU. It is rude of her - at the very least she should have spoken to you first, and even then she would have BU.

HorryIsUpduffed · 13/03/2013 19:47

No, that's very rude if she hadn't (a) arranged it with you first and (b) made sure everyone knew, eg by phoning to speak to them or at least a text.

Twogoodreasons · 13/03/2013 19:50

YANBU - is she a control freak?

ThreeBeeOneGee · 13/03/2013 19:52

Oh. I clicked on the thread title because I thought it was going to be about sex.

MrsMangoBiscuit · 13/03/2013 19:59

I'm hoping the OP is quiet because no one else had seen the email and they all turned up at hers and they're having a lovely time. :)

diddl · 13/03/2013 20:02

Can't really decide.

Seems a bit needy to invite everyone to yours when there's a sick child there & it's generally a weekly meet!

Yfronts · 13/03/2013 20:09

the eticate should have been for friend to check with OP first before emailing round.

MammaMedusa · 13/03/2013 20:11

That is awful!

I hope they all come to yours. I would.

diddl · 13/03/2013 20:12

Yes, she should have checked.

And what if people go there thinking that OP knows & she's waiting for people to go to her??

Very bad manners & ill thought out?

And surely OP has to stay at home as no babysitter?

Hopefully OP isn't on atm as she has guests.

MagicHouse · 13/03/2013 20:13

that's really rude! Did they turn up?

TotallyEggFlipped · 13/03/2013 20:13

If people weren't coming to yours they should've each contacted you directly to ensure you knew. I hope you're having a great evening.

INeverSaidThat · 13/03/2013 22:05

YANBU
What a rude person. I would be very pissed off indeed.

SPBInDisguise · 13/03/2013 22:08

Did they come op?

WandaDoff · 13/03/2013 22:09

I hope the reason you haven't come back to the thread is because you have a houseful of guests.

ReluctantBeing · 13/03/2013 22:09

I would be mightily pissed off!

Nagoo · 13/03/2013 22:13

YANBU that's super rude!

Hope they all came round :)

MammaTJ · 13/03/2013 22:14

I hope the OP is being being the hostess with the mostest!!

MammaTJ · 13/03/2013 22:17

being busy

Original poster
Flojobunny · 13/03/2013 22:46

Sorry, started a thread then disappeared. In her defense, we only have email contact details, and she emailed me at 6pm and I didn't get it til after 7.
I was busy because 3 of them turned up, obviously the past host didn't and one of the group got the bus to hers following the email.
I just thought it was a bit off not to just say sorry I can't make it or email me on my own asking if we could swap not group email says 'hi all can you come to mine instead see you at 7.30.'
I think you might be right, she might like playing host. Although I did ask her on her own first if she minded coming to me instead, but maybe she felt she couldn't say no ?

OP posts:
Nagoo · 13/03/2013 23:17

It doesn't matter what she felt! You don't agree to meet at someone's home then decide it's not convenient for you and try to usurp the host!

BabyRoger · 13/03/2013 23:20

YANBU. The venue, this week, was your house. If she couldn't make that then she should have just said - not changed the venue to her house. Rude of her.