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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to help me decide which childminder?

47 replies

Spice17 · 13/03/2013 16:14

Am driving myself crazy trying to decide and you know when you say you don't know but you're secretly erring on one side? Well, that's not happening at all and I'm very torn.

Could you helpful mumsnetters let me know what you think I should do?

Childminder A Pros
Very close - 2 min drive, all back roads, so no stress and low petrol cost
Lovely big house
Nice lady, child I saw there seemed very happy
'Good' Ofsted
Does various local outings/activities
Doesn't charge for her hols/sickness
Cheaper than Childminder B but not by much

Cons
Have to provide a packed lunch and may have to pay a bit exra for more expensive activities
Says USUALLY takes hols during school ones but doesn't guarantee (and would need this really so that DM who works in a school can cover those times) But did say she knows of other CMs who may be able to cover.
Minimum of 6 hours per day (so on my half day would be paying for care I don't need)

Childminder B Pros
Husband and wife childminders (who seem lovely) so if one is ill, the other can cover
Lovely house
'Outstanding Ofsted'
Charge more than Childminder A but all food/activities included
Offered to pick up if car out of action of whatever
Only have maximum of 6 kids between them at any time
Seem to do lots of nice activities
Said they usually take all holidays during school ones (so DM could cover)
No minimum amount of hours (so could pick DD up straight after half day.

Cons
Further away and drive there in rush hour would be more challenging/stressful
They charge for their hols and sickness, so you basically pay all year round

I just CANNOT make up my mind and am getting in a real tizz about it. Obviously want what's best for DD and don't want to regret the decision. Worried that I'm putting too much emphasis on the journey taking her there (as this is what stresses me out at the moment) Can't read the Ofsted reports as no PDF/Word on my laptop. WWYD? TIA! :)

OP posts:
betterwhenthesunshines · 13/03/2013 16:17

YABU only you know which of these criteria is more important to you. You do realise no childminder is ever going to be perfect right?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/03/2013 16:17

I dont see how a CM can charge you if she is ill and cant have your DC.

I would go for A!

betterwhenthesunshines · 13/03/2013 16:18

Having said that, I'd go for B. I hate making packed lunches.

betterwhenthesunshines · 13/03/2013 16:19

No, it would definitely be A because of the close proximity.

BiscuitMillionaire · 13/03/2013 16:21

You know what? Whichever one you choose will be OK. They're both good. Relax.

Original poster
Spice17 · 13/03/2013 16:23

A makes sense because even if I have to get rid of my car I could still walk to CM with DD and go to work - but am I focusing in the unimportant things? I mean 'Outstanding Ofsted' should say it all to me but, weirdly it doesn't and they were really lovely too- Argh!!

OP posts:
MyLittleDiva · 13/03/2013 16:23

Would go with A so any holidays can be covered by your dm. What would you do for holiday cover if you decided on B?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/03/2013 16:24

To be honest, when I was picking a CM all those years ago, the OFFSTED didn't mean anything to me. The feel of the environment was first and foremost to me, a nice homely atmosphere where I knew DS would be safe and happy.

Goldmandra · 13/03/2013 16:24

What you describe in your OP are two good options for you and nobody can possibly help you choose between the two.

I think you need to revisit both settings and think carefully while you are there about the emotional environment. Your child needs somewhere she feels wanted and cared for, not somewhere education driven. Also think about how much they allow the child to lead because following their own interests is how they learn best. I'd always go for a setting with lots of open ended, flexible resources which the children are allowed to adapt and move round independently. You don't want a childminder who plans too rigidly and has particular resources for particular places and purposes.

If your child arrive at the setting excited about seeing something on the way your childminder should be willing to drop other plans and help her explore ideas linked to it that morning, obviously within the bounds of meeting the needs of all the children in the setting.

arrrghhhhwaiting · 13/03/2013 16:27

YABU to choose without reading Ofsted reports. Do you not have a friend/library/workplace with a computer? Or you could ask childminders for copies, they are meant to provide them to their users anyway.

It could be the thing that the 'good' childminder lost marks on is something non-negotiable for you anyway, so that would help with decision making.

MyLittleDiva · 13/03/2013 16:31

Sorry should have said would choose B so your dm can cover holiday. On reading again I am unsure, you must have a gut feeling on the right one for you and dc so go with that.

Original poster
Spice17 · 13/03/2013 16:32

Mylittlediva CM B reckon they'll pretty much definitely take all hols during school ones, so DM could cover those.

Gold that's really useful advice thanks. It's made me think, and A takes her brood to other childminders houses a lot (potentially to suit her?) whereas B had a little homemade catalogue of all the toys they have for the children to pick from, those very silly little details are making me think that B seem more focused on the kids (I know that's a very picky and possibly unfair way of judging it!)

Oh dear. Me and DH going to see A on Fri together (as he wasn't with me on first visit)

I know that they would both be fine, but I really don't want to regret my decision Confused

OP posts:
ENormaSnob · 13/03/2013 16:38

Probably a.

Otherwise you could end up having to fork out double some weeks.

My lovely cm doesn't charge for holidays and sickness.

dashoflime · 13/03/2013 16:38

I'd go for A on the basis of the easier journey there and back. I don't think transport is an unimportant issue. It could make the difference between happy relaxed drop offs and hectic stressy ones.

iago · 13/03/2013 16:39

I'd go for A because of the proximity and use your half day to do your chores/shopping/relax so that you can give your child your full attention at the weekend. B does sound better, but the journey in rush hour would rule it out for me.

showtunesgirl · 13/03/2013 16:40

What does your gut feeling tell you?

HappyJoyful · 13/03/2013 16:44

I think something that really matters to me and I'm not sure you've considered or asked - is how many / what age are the other kids the CM looks after ? What age is your child ? did the other kids interact with your child ?

The extra driving sounds a pain to me.. I don't think you are putting too much emphasis on it - if it's feeling stressful then listen to your 'inner self' or gut or whatever! It's probably telling you something!

I don't know how old your child is, but I know if I'm rushing in am to get my toddler dd to childminder I do have to allow 'extra' time to get her in / out of car etc. The ability to walk to them is good.

Sorry but little homemade catalogues of toys sounds a bit ott to me and is absolutely no indication that she's a better carer of the children. Things like this are a 'big hit' with Ofsted at the moment - I know my childminder was 'miffed' as someone that she regarded as absolutely useless (never ever moved from chair in playgroups to help the kids do anything) but she produced a 'newsletter' for the parents and a noticeboard - quite frankly I'd rather my child was concentrating on interacting and entertaining the children then doing all this twee stuff.. sorry personal rant!

HappyJoyful · 13/03/2013 16:46

sorry my rant was she 'produced' these sort of things and got outstanding - missed that bit out!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/03/2013 16:47

Happy I totally agree. I know someone who had an outstanding ofsted but my god, the way she spoke to those kids!! Yep, she had the noticeboard, the menu, everything offsted would love.....and yet she used to wonder why I didn't put my DS with her.

HappyJoyful · 13/03/2013 16:47

Sorry meant to also add - that's bonkers, she shouldn't/can't charge you if she's sick surely or if she's on holiday ? NO.. that would be deal breaker for me. A it is!

PinkCanary · 13/03/2013 16:50

As a childminder myself I prefer to work with parents who have the same parenting style / mindset as me. How did A and B strike you in his context?
A second visit will be useful, with other children there preferably so you can see how they interact. Can you talk to any existing parents too?
Also when A goes to other minders houses she's potentially just working in the same way as the couple (2 adults to max 6 children ratio) with double the resources.
They both sound lovely places TBH and I'm sure whichever you decide will work well.

HappyJoyful · 13/03/2013 16:51

Great to have the agreement Betty, didn't want to tread on anyone's toes or upset apple cart, for anyone that thinks this is important, but yes, from what I gather from my CM a couple of our local CM's got 'outstanding' and literally sit on their backsides. To me, if they have time to produce all this then what attention are they giving to the kids, if they do it in their own time then well they're not knackered enough from looking after the kids (said 'slightly' in jest!)

HappyJoyful · 13/03/2013 16:52

Both should have given you numbers of other parents to have a chat too yes, that's a good idea

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 13/03/2013 16:53

Talk is cheap Happy - they talk the talk but can they walk the walk, now that is the question :)

DontCallMeBaby · 13/03/2013 17:00

Yeah, catalogue of toys is TOTAL Ofsted fodder. Either forget about Ofsted altogether (there's going to be nothing WRONG with either childminder if they're getting Good and Outstanding) or do what you can to get hold of the reports and read them critically. You may well find that what Ofsted thinks is splendid about B is meaningless, flavour-of-the-month twaddle, and what they find fault with with A is of no account to you.

What if ... B calls and says she's really sorry but she no longer has a place. You have to go with A. How do you feel? Disappointed, or relieved that the decision's been taken out of your hands?