To think if she cant speak english then he shouldnt be going

[Domjolly]

My dc(13) wants to go to a party nothing worng with that the issue is the mother cant speak a jot of english and i am not happy to rely on a 20 year old cousin to give me the details and also i just wonder how she will be able to effectivly supervise teens if she cant speak any english and my other worry if there is a emergency she cant even soeak enough to contact me

And i being a little or am i right to be worried

ElkiesBrook he has poor working memory so needs some to just keep a eye he forgets the route home ect might take him a while to remeber were he needs to go or somtimes i finding just staring at out front door trying to figure out if he lives here or at the red door 6 doors down

She can't speak English, you don't trust the other boys to be advocates for your son and you are very defensive and uncomfortable about the supervision.
You've decided to tell her that your DS won't be going, in addition to mentioning the language barrier it might also be reasonable to let her know that you don't think your son will manage due to his SN, and that you were pleased he was asked but it isn't an appropriate activity for him to manage without proper support.
Just to ban him because she doesn't speak adequate English would be rude and unfair to her and her willingness to include him.

I gonna go and just ask oh what he thinks

He just walked in all i wanted was some advice i been accused of being a rasict ,lyeing Ect

What's the boy whose party it is like? Does he seem a sensible lad? Does he know your son's issues? Or is there another friend going who can war h out for him? I feel a bit sad for your son that he can't attend.

Jeeze and peas this is not the place to talk about anything to get support unless you want ti stop your oh going on a stag do or being stopped from taking your children to a childless wedding

I asked for views i got them next time i wont

OK

To be fair OP you got some understanding responses too.

You know those student exchanges that thousands of children go on every year to other families in other countries where the parents don't speak english....

....Well YABVU and ignorant.

Her ds has SN, she says it later in the thread.

DD is like that, Dom, but she's only 5yrs old and has ASD

i recognise others on this thread from the SN section, we understand your concerns

but Neb is right, you can't give 'not speaking english' as the reason for him not going. that is racist and not fair on the woman concerned.

I live in a forrin country and don't speak the language. It hasn't been a barrier to keeping the teenage hordes in line when my daughter invites them over. It's all 'the look' which is the same whatever the language. I've never met or spoken to any of their parents. Sorry OP but I think you are being unreasonable.

Basically, I think you would be wrong to give her language skills as a reason when it is really much more about your ds' SN and concerns that his particular need for supervision may not be met.

And frankly, I think you may have a point. At that age, most parents would not be supervising that closely (except to prevent total mayhem) but relying on the children and their mates to do their bit. This after all is an age where children hang out in the park for hours on end and are normally expected to be fairly streetwise.

I would be reluctant to send any 13yo of mine to a teen party unless I thought he would either be capable of looking out for himself to some extent or had reliable mates with him who could do it or I knew for sure that the hosts understood his SN and were on the case.

Even if you think you know the parents, it is difficult to know how much supervision will actually be exercised. Dh had to come out to a party at a friend of ours recently to ferry a friend of dd's home after she had had a drink too many: I don't know what the hostess was doing at this point but clearly not keeping a very close eye.

Woah, Dom.
You've had lots of lovely and kind responses on here.
Why are you being so aggressive?

When DS1 was in Infant school he had friends who were Japanese. The father worked for a company in this country so could speak some English, the children could speak English but the mother couldn't. DS1 was often invited round for tea, or birthday parties, as were other DC. Not once did I say no, not even when he was 5. They DC could talk to each other and if there was a problem (there never was) the children could convey it back to the mother if the father wasn't there. We, also, had the boy come to our house for visits too.

It can be done really easily OP. There will be other people there who can speak English, and I am sure the mother would notice if something was wrong and would step in regardless of the fact that she can not speak English.

She can't speak you can't write... Nobody is perfect you see

There is an older cousin there who can speak English and can translate for her, along with her own child too I'm presuming. Don't worry, I'm sure she'll be able to get her point across if she needed.

My son has AS so I understand your hesitancy and worrying that he's not quite ready for things like this, but if he's really keen to go I think you should give him the chance. You could compromise and have a time he has to be home by instead rather than staying there all nice.