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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make dd have swimming lessons?

57 replies

Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 11:26

She's 10, very academic and bookish, VERY unsporty and probably unfit. Other than school PE, she does a ballet class once a week and a drama club that includes dance.

She now wants to drop the ballet which is fine, it's her choice but I worry about the lack of exercise. Swimming is one of the few sports she's ok at so WIBU to insist on swimming lessons if she drops ballet? She's also a little overweight and I've been told to try and get her moving a bit more. Very difficult if she reads for hours every day!

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BeerTricksPotter · 13/03/2013 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HorribleMother · 13/03/2013 11:33

I would try to sweeten it a bit, maybe a small treat (trip out together to cinema?) after every 10 lessons. 10yo is awfully old to be making them do clubs.

frogspoon · 13/03/2013 11:33

Nothing wrong with making her do a sport activity, but YAB a little U to insist that it must be swimming.

Why don't you take her to a few taster sessions for different activities, and she can see which ones she prefers, that way it is her choice and she is doing a sport she enjoys. Have you thought of martial arts e.g. karate, the disciplined nature of it may appeal to your studious daughter.

Does she enjoy swimming? You say she is "ok" at it, but does she actually like it? If not you could find yourself in this same position in a few years time.

middleagedspread · 13/03/2013 11:35

I've always encouraged my DC to swim, mainly for safety.
Riding a bike by a canal, all those school adventure trips, holidays with a pool..
If she can swim competently but hates it I think I'd find another sport. I do think swimming is very much a solo thing, if she could find a team sport she might be more enthusiastic. Tennis?

WilsonFrickett · 13/03/2013 11:41

If she's an OK swimmer why would she want swimming lessons though? If they're doing stuff she already knows how to do, she'll be bored.

Have you tried other kinds of dance? Also agree re taster sessions. Does she have a bike? How do you get around, ie is she driven most places?

Tweasels · 13/03/2013 11:44

Could you take her swimming? If she didn't want to do the lessons. Or plan some walks at the weekend. I don't think you should force her, that might be counter productive.

cozietoesie · 13/03/2013 11:45

Karate is a superb idea. Not only do you become ultra fit but you learn to deal with aggression and become more confident.

But in any case, I wouldn't make her do anything. Let her taste various activities and if she likes one, support her in it. Otherwise, she might come to hate it.

bedmonster · 13/03/2013 11:53

Would it be possible to go swimming as a family? Or just you and her? She is possibly a bit old for starting out, of course you can be any age learning to swim, but her classes for techincal ability may be a lot younger than her which might put her off?
Swimming is a good skill and I have sent mine to lessons since age 4 even though some weeks they grumble about it. It's the one thing I insist on them doing, and they choose to do other clubs too.
Just going out for regular walks is good for just being out in the fresh air and getting moving. Maybe when it's warmer you could find somewhere nice to walk and take a book with you so there is somewhere to read at the end?
I think YABatinybitU to make her do it, but gentle encouragement and joining in yourself would speak volumes.

Kungfutea · 13/03/2013 11:59

My kids hate swimming lessons but like swimming so if she has the basics, just take her swimming, either on her own or with a friend, if she's not interested in a class. I don't think kids get all that much exercise from these organized classes anyhow, she'd probably get more out of breath (which is really what counts) from half an hour running around in the playground. Just try and focus on what works and what's enjoyable.

Original poster

Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 12:07

Sorry to clarify - she did have swimming lessons for some time a few years ago as she couldn't swim. She had private lessons with a wonderfully patient teacher as she was very nervous. She got to the stage where she was swimming very well and the teacher suggested group classes but at the time we couldn't manage the logistics.

I HAVE suggested other things such a martial arts but she's completely not interested. She thought she might like to do trampolining but after doing a day's course at half term, that's a no too!

It's easy to say she'd get out of breath running around in the playground etc but she takes a book WHEREVER she goes, including breaktime at school. I do try and get her moving about but invariably after 10 minutes she's sitting down reading!

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Original poster

Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 12:08

Oh and the swimming lessons where we go have lots of different levels so it wouldn't be basic for her. At her level she'd be swimming lengths and practising stroke technique etc.

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Original poster

Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 12:09

She can't ride a bike either - believe me, we have tried year after year!

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VanitasVanitatum · 13/03/2013 12:22

I think it's totally reasonable to insist your ten yo does regular sports, she may not know what is best for her health but you do, and all children need regular exercise. You are her parent, it is not U to make informed and sensible choices for her.

StuntGirl · 13/03/2013 12:32

I think you do need to get her to do some kind of sport, but instead of forcing her to do one could you sit and chat with her and explain why its important to do it, and get her to try some different ones to find one she likes?

I can't see how you can force her to actively participate in exercise if she's dead against it that's all, so you're going to need to get her onside a little.

Original poster

Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 12:37

Yes that's a good idea, will have a chat to her.

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StuntGirl · 13/03/2013 12:41

Could you sneak exercise into your routines anywhere too? Could they walk to/from school for example? Could you go for a family walk at the weekends? Maybe go out on a family day out to some literary type places, she might enjoy walking around somewhere (and not even realise she's doing exercise!) if its related to something she enjoys.

witchface · 13/03/2013 12:45

This was me and I really wish my parents had insisted on some kind of sport even though I probably would have complained at the time!

Bobyan · 13/03/2013 12:46

Speaking as a once very fat ten year old (I weigh the same at age 36 as I did at age 10), you owe it to her to make her exercise. I agree that you should talk with her about it, but ultimately even if she doesn't want to you should make her.

TheCatInTheHairnet · 13/03/2013 12:50

I don't think 10yo is too old to have to do a club. I tell my DD she can try any sport she likes, but she does have to do at least one. Swimming lessons are a great idea as, even if she is a decent swimmer, there's always room to improve and it's a very social sport ime.

Mutley77 · 13/03/2013 12:53

I think you need to insist she does something - and personally I would also be very keen to encourage a more outdoors/active lifestyle in general - even if she doesn't want to you could encourage her out for once or twice weekly walks, scooter/bike rides with appropriate rewards. Swimming as an activity would be good as if she has already achieved a certain level in terms of technique she will be doing repeated lengths to build up stamina which sounds like what she needs.

I was a very academic/bookish child myself and all my extra-curricular activities were musical etc, so I never developed any decent sporting skills, which hasn't really been great for me in adult life. While I wasn't overweight as a child I do have that tendency now. As a result I have since day one focused on getting my children out and about and active. My DD is extremely academic and loves reading but she also is a fab swimmer and very active, good at bike riding etc. I have made a real effort to force this and wish my parents had done the same for me (although I don't hold it against them that they didn't as neither were particularly sporty themselves and it wasn't a natural thing for them). My DD might not care when she gets older but at least I have tried and given her the best chances.

Belugagrad · 13/03/2013 13:00

Sort out the bike riding! I wast taught and got to secondary school and couldn't go on an adventure trip. I felt so left out and in the end learnt at uni! I wish y parents had tried to teach me.

WilsonFrickett · 13/03/2013 13:03

For the bike, can you link it to independence? For example, if she can learn to ride her bike to a decent standard, you'll let her go to the library on her own?

Belugagrad · 13/03/2013 13:09

Also with the bike thing it's getting to the age where it's probably a bit embarrassing for her to learn on the park so if u don't have a big garden I would sort out soon some on holiday so she can nail it. Centre parts or eurocamp etc.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 13/03/2013 13:11

I was actually going to suggest trampolining as it is fun and will use some similar skills to ballet, but I see she didn't enjoy her taster day. I would say it is quite hard at first but does become much easier with practice. Has she tried gymnastics? That is similar strength and balance as ballet but perhaps a bit more fun? I actually think swimming is great exercise but it depends how keen your DD is, plus it can be done as fun sessions rather than just lessons if she prefers. Tennis is lots of fun. Cycling also good for fitness but can be done with friends on family days too...

Original poster

Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 13:12

I am aiming to try and sort out the bike riding by next year as Year 6s do cycling proficiency.

wilson she is already allowed a bit of freedom to go the library/shops etc by herself so don't think that would work.

I wish it were as easy as some of you are making out. We have tried year after year with bike riding, including two summers when we enlisted the help of a private cycling tutor. I am now hoping that her little sister who is learning to ride at the moment might inspire her and that she won't want to be the odd one out in the family.

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