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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make dd have swimming lessons?

57 replies

Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 11:26

She's 10, very academic and bookish, VERY unsporty and probably unfit. Other than school PE, she does a ballet class once a week and a drama club that includes dance.

She now wants to drop the ballet which is fine, it's her choice but I worry about the lack of exercise. Swimming is one of the few sports she's ok at so WIBU to insist on swimming lessons if she drops ballet? She's also a little overweight and I've been told to try and get her moving a bit more. Very difficult if she reads for hours every day!

OP posts:
GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 13/03/2013 13:12

Oh cross-posted that she can't cycle. Maybe cycling lessons to get her going?

Original poster
Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 13:14

Gymnastics may be a possibility, there are some girls in her class who go. I'll talk to her.

OP posts:
wigglesrock · 13/03/2013 13:23

My daughter did gymnastics for a few years - she's a bit younger than yours, but she loved it. It also gave her great coordination and balance which increased her enjoyment for other physical activities.

I understand about the bike, my daughter was the last of her friends to ride a bike. She couldn't "get it" and then one day she did but she had to be ready.

frogspoon · 13/03/2013 13:56

Does she have coordination difficulties? Could she not ride the bike with stabilisers for now? Cycling with stabilisers would still get her moving and improve her overall fitness.

I think gymnastics might be a difficult sport for an unathletic child to take up at age 10, she may lack the flexibility and balance to do the moves her friends are doing.

However the most important thing is to find a sport that she enjoys and improves her fitness.

Fillyjonk75 · 13/03/2013 14:00

The best way to ensure your daughters always stay active is by being active yourself as mothers and setting an example.

I agree though, it doesn't have to be swimming. It does have to be something she enjoys.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 14:58

frogspoon I would say she's quite un-coordinated. She couldn't jump as a toddler or skip and now she can't skip with a skipping rope. She just struggles with a lot of physical activities. I would have liked her to continue with the ballet - her teacher says although she doesn't have much elevation, she has other nice qualities such as lovely arms and neat feet. But her heart's not in it any more.

OP posts:
Beamur · 13/03/2013 15:05

I'd say try and do more physical activities as a family - seems less of a chore if you're having a nice time!
I suspect your DD doesn't like competitive sports and enjoys something at a more leisurely pace - have you got a climbing wall near you? My DP is a keen climber and has taken all 3 of his kids with him at various times, so far, none of them have taken it up to his level of enthusiasm - but they have all enjoyed it. It's a good activity to build strength and co-ordination, but at a much slower pace than something like gym or ballet which she might like.

yellowbrickrd · 13/03/2013 15:11

The trouble with a lot of these activities are that they become very formal and competitive as they get older which tends to put a lot of kids off.

Could there be an underlying problem with co-ordination? Not trying to scare-monger, it just seems quite extreme that you paid someone specially to teach her cycling and she still isn't able.

How about water-sports rather than swimming lessons which can be a bit dull and regimented. Kayaking/canoeing? Lots of fresh air!

Has she always been a bit overweight or is this a recent thing? A lot of kids put on weight as they approach puberty then shake it off later.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 15:55

Do you mean dyspraxia yellow? I did wonder about that and raised it with the school briefly but their SENCO didn't think there were enough symptoms.

OP posts:
yellowbrickrd · 13/03/2013 16:11

I was thinking along those lines although perhaps not so severe? Or perhaps a balance problem? Is she clumsy/accident-prone?

Original poster
Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 16:21

Yes she is a bit. What could that be?

OP posts:
TheBigJessie · 13/03/2013 16:23

Hmm, I'd just like to add that there are a wide range of martial arts, and different people like different ones.

She might, for example, like the high kicks and jumping about in Tae Kwon-do, or on the other hand, prefer Judo.

Startail · 13/03/2013 16:31

If you have good lessons for 10y go for it, we don't.

Everyone learns really young and by Y5, Y6 the good ones are training in the swimming club and the slower ones have given up.

Very annoying as DD1 could also have done with exercise, likes swimming and would have done, circuits, aqu-robics, water polo, fun relay races, stroke improvement, diving, life saving, snorkeling (which has done at holiday club and is very good at) - basically anything except train 3 times a week club. Which is all there is.

Generally any form of exercise for non competitive 10 plus girls is very rare.

yellowbrickrd · 13/03/2013 16:34

Did anyone else look into it other than the SENCO? I can't see it would hurt to ask the GP about it since, whatever the reason, it does seem to be limiting the range of activities she can do.

PicaK · 13/03/2013 16:49

I hated sport as a kid, was bookish too. I'm honestly sat here shuddering at the thought of being forced to do these things. I put a lot of thought and effort into avoiding them which did exercise my ingenuity.

I enjoyed aerobics classes she may do too. Is she bright? Can you show her a childrens equivalent of the bmi chart explain where she needs to be and strike a deal that if she gets into and stays in the normal range then fair enough no classes.

Belugagrad · 13/03/2013 16:51

I really think martial arts could be good, it will really help coordination which will help with the cycling. Worth a try at least.

loopyluna · 13/03/2013 16:57

Doesn't she have any friends who do activities that would tempt her? Another style of dancing or ice skating, gymnastics...

Otherwise, go for the swimming. If she really doesn't want to do lessons, try to go as a family on a regular basis.

And, I agree that the bike riding could become an issue. Try to get her riding over the summer holidays...

Booboostoo · 13/03/2013 16:58

Riding? It's the only form of exercise I liked as a child (well, even as an adult!) and the only thing that would drag me away from books.

StuntGirl · 13/03/2013 16:58

Thinking from what someone said above about rewards, could you offer to buy her a new book for every x sessions of a sport/exercise/club she completes? So maybe once a month or something.

Original poster
Dancergirl · 13/03/2013 16:59

I think martial arts may be good too but she's v stubborn and if she doesn't want to do something it's hard to persuade her otherwise.

OP posts:
Uppermid · 13/03/2013 17:02

I too have a very bookish dd (9) who really isn't sporty. She doesn't seem to like any sport though is having swimming lessons and has recently started horse riding which she absolutely loves, couldn't stop her if I wanted to!

outtolunchagain · 13/03/2013 17:11

I was your daughter , although I was a skinny Minnie until about 17 when my weight started to climb.Not massively but enough to bother me.

When I read the list of things she struggled with it rang so many bells . I also could not ride a bike until about 11, jumping a problem, gymnastics a nightmare , roller skates nooooo!
I also did ballet , I would try to encourage her to continue with dance .Lots of places do mother and daughter Zumba, tap or modern could you encourage that and go with her , likewise aquarobics etc

I do have a dyspraxic son , he rode a bike at 5 but couldn't walk down more than one step at a time on stairs until 9 so it can be complex,.

Viewofthehills · 13/03/2013 17:41

Has she tried roller blades or a scooter?
Do you have a trampoline she can just go on in the garden?
If you can make her work in 30 minutes a day rather than think she can get her exercise quota out of the way once a week

TheBigJessie · 13/03/2013 18:06

Get her some books about martial arts? There used to be books about the history of each of the main ones in my local library when I was a child. I remember borrowing them to decide which one I wanted to do!

Remotecontrolduck · 13/03/2013 19:05

It really depends if she WANTS to do it. Forcing swimming lessons on her when she can already swim will be counter productive I think. She'll end up hating swimming and being put off exercise. Maybe try something fun, like swimming for fun or doing something else active at the weekend.

I understand she'll slightly overweight but some people just don't like sport, and that's ok. I don't think forcing formal activity is the answer.

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