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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think a child should not be blamed for teachers shortcomings

67 replies

bloodyschool · 13/03/2013 09:21

Have NC'd
DD is a quiet conscientious and hard working child.The archetypical model student.She is 7
She was late or school one day last week (no excuses it was just a one off day wneb she was a bit tired and dilly dallying) and then the car had a bit of trouble starting and we ended up 10 minutes late.I hold my hand up to that Yes our fault entirely.
However after school DD and I were called into the office to be told that on that day, her teacher, who is an NQT was being observed.DD being late had flustered her so much that she had had to start the lesson again and had consequently not been marked well.DD who adores her teacher was in floods of tears and had been feeling very guilty and sorry for her teacher.
I am furious.Yes to be blamed for being late is one thing- to be blamed for the teacher not coping with a very common situation is not.

OP posts:

5madthings · 13/03/2013 09:22

Yanbu the teacher should be able to cope with things like that!

CheeseandPickledOnion · 13/03/2013 09:24

That's disgusting and I'd be complaining.

The teacher should be able to cope, and in no way full stop should her failings have been even mentioned to your daughter, let alone inferred that it was her own fault.

WileyRoadRunner · 13/03/2013 09:25

YANBU.

I would take issue with that conversation being had in the presence of a 7 year old!

neolara · 13/03/2013 09:27

Who told you that? The head, or someone in the office? Absolutely bonkers. What on earth was the point of even mentioning it to you.

pudcat · 13/03/2013 09:28

As an ex teacher I find the school's attitude unbelievable. Yes it is nerve wracking being observed, but all the teacher had to do was acknowledge your daughter, ask her to sit down quickly and carry on. Unless your daughter made a drama of going into the classroom I cannot see why the teacher had to start again. The teacher is at fault and not your daughter. Also the observer should have given a little latitude as the teacher was obviously very nervous.

YouTheCat · 13/03/2013 09:28

Well she's setting herself up to fail then. Children are often late. And the fact that your car wouldn't start is hardly anyone's fault, that's just one of those things.

Laying the guilt on a 7 year old for lateness is wrong anyway.

If your child is as you say, I can't even see that she would have disrupted the class by going in late either.

I'd be having a strong word.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 13/03/2013 09:29

If the teacher was marked down it was surely because she couldnt cope with a child being late. Thats her shortfall. And perhaps its a good thing that it has been highlighted now so she can receive support.

It had absolutely nothing to do with your child.

nokidshere · 13/03/2013 09:29

If she cant cope with a child being late into class then perhaps it was best highlighted to her!!!!!!!

To speak to you and your daughter about it was unprofessional and un-neccesary!

ginmakesitallok · 13/03/2013 09:29

SO what did you say when they told you???

jennybeadle · 13/03/2013 09:30

YANBU

I'd even go further and say that to blame her for being late at all was pushing it, if you had car trouble of top of her dilly dallying.

I know that being observed is hard for NQTs but a simple disruption like that is part of everyday life at school. How on earth would she have coped with something extraordinary, like a child throwing up, or fainting??

breatheslowly · 13/03/2013 09:31

I have no idea why they told you this. Teachers do have to deal with children coming in late to lessons, it is part of the job. If she still can't deal with it after a year of training and half a year as an NQT then she really needs to have a chat with her mentor and see if she can identify strategies to help her deal with being a teacher.

N0tinmylife · 13/03/2013 09:31

YABNU, I would not be happy with that at all. Who was it that called you into the office? How did the rest of the conversation go? I'd be livid. It's one thing to tell a child off for being late, but to make a 7 year old feel responsible for a teachers behaviour is just OTT and weird!

Pixieonthemoor · 13/03/2013 09:33

What nokidshere said. Your poor dd! Late just once and made to feel so awful about it! Ok, she was dilly dallying but I bet you would have made it pretty much on time if the car had started so its not really anyone's fault. I can't believe they even mentioned it to you! I am sorry that the teacher was so nervous but it's ridiculous that she can't cope with someone coming in a few minutes late!

Floggingmolly · 13/03/2013 09:35

Did the head really tell you that in front of your child?

CelticPixie · 13/03/2013 09:40

YANBU. I've worked in schools as a classroom assistant and children are sometimes late. It happens and yes whilst its a bit of a pain its part of the job description and you have to deal with it. The teacher in question really must be pretty shit at her job if something so minor has got her into a state, she needs to get a grip really. And yes, you SHOULD complain!

MadHairDay · 13/03/2013 09:57

Wow, really? Yanbu!

Children are late all the time, or coming in from doctors appointments, or in and out to music lessons - all sorts of normal stuff. If an NQT cannot cope with this I'd question her capability as a teacher tbh. I suspect it was the inspection in general that flustered her - to blame it on your dd is beyond ridiculous.

Did they say it in front of dd?

Chandon · 13/03/2013 10:00

Yanbu, completely off, imo

AntoinetteCosway · 13/03/2013 10:12

That's crazy...your poor DD. I'm a teacher and I don't even understand what the school means by saying 'she had to start the lesson again'-surely apart from quickly getting your DD caught up she could have just carried on? Did the rest of the class have to sit through her doing and saying another ten minutes of exactly the same things she'd done before your daughter arrived? That's weird teaching!

greenfern · 13/03/2013 10:15

Make a complaint, thats terrible to blame your daughter.

thegreylady · 13/03/2013 10:32

YANBU any teacher should be able to cope well with something like that. If she got an adverse comment on her assessment it would be because of her inability to cope with an everyday occurrence in a teacher's life.
The assessment issue should never have been mentioned to you never mind in front of your dd. That is appalling. I too was a teacher-for over 30 years.

OxfordBags · 13/03/2013 10:34

That is disgusting, totally unprofessional and also worryingly immature for someone who works with children. Children are NOT responsible for the behaviour or feelings of adults, hell, no-one is responsible for the bahviour or feelings of anyone else. Your poor DD, thinking she alone has messed things up for her beloved teacher. Not that she deserves to be beloved, blaming a child for her own inadequacy in her own job.

Your Dd also sounds like the sort of child who will be really affected by this sort of thing, the sort of child who does feel that they are responsible for how others feel (I know, I was just the same!). Make sure you talk to her and get her to understand that it was wrong for them to blame her and that it is untrue that she was responsible. Poor girl.

cory · 13/03/2013 10:35

If the teacher is unable to cope with everyday happenings then that should be high-lighted; it is something she needs to work on. Sooner or later something serious will happen before her and it will be her job to stay calm and reassuring for the sake of the other children.

KellyElly · 13/03/2013 10:36

Complain. That's very unprofessional on the school's behalf. I can't believe they said it in front of your DD!

Original poster

bloodyschool · 13/03/2013 10:37

Thankyou for your comments.I am not goingto raise this with the school as what is done is done.I just wanted to gauge other peoples thoughts on the matter.
Quite apart from the effect on my DD , I shouldn't think the poor NQT wants this broadcasting either!

OP posts:

ENormaSnob · 13/03/2013 10:40

Yanbu

Teacher needed marking down if she can't cope with a late arrival.

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