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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think a child should not be blamed for teachers shortcomings

67 replies

bloodyschool · 13/03/2013 09:21

Have NC'd
DD is a quiet conscientious and hard working child.The archetypical model student.She is 7
She was late or school one day last week (no excuses it was just a one off day wneb she was a bit tired and dilly dallying) and then the car had a bit of trouble starting and we ended up 10 minutes late.I hold my hand up to that Yes our fault entirely.
However after school DD and I were called into the office to be told that on that day, her teacher, who is an NQT was being observed.DD being late had flustered her so much that she had had to start the lesson again and had consequently not been marked well.DD who adores her teacher was in floods of tears and had been feeling very guilty and sorry for her teacher.
I am furious.Yes to be blamed for being late is one thing- to be blamed for the teacher not coping with a very common situation is not.

OP posts:

ratspeaker · 13/03/2013 10:47

It is extremely unfair to blame your child for something she has no control over.
ie car trouble and teacher getting flustered as a child is late
Fair enough to ask the adult why the child was late but the implication is that if you are not going to be on time the child should not attend school at all in case the teacher gets flustered[hmmm]

shewhowines · 13/03/2013 11:34

I'd turn it back on the school and say that actually the problem is theirs in dealing with this NQT as you have serious concerns about your child education. Ask them what they intend to do to ensure that your Dd doesn't suffer with a year of possible inadequate teaching?

I'd also ask them to apologise to your DD for what they said to/in front of her.

DeskPlanner · 13/03/2013 11:44

How horrible for your Dd. I would be complaining very strongly about this.

sashh · 13/03/2013 11:57

You are right to be furious. That is really, really bad.

youmaycallmeSSP · 13/03/2013 12:00

Please do complain or they will do it again.

Andro · 13/03/2013 12:27

Nothing should have been put on your DD, that was wrong.

I can't help but feel a bit sorry for the NQT though, if it was her first time being observed since qualifying she probably just panicked. I'm not a teacher but I have been through peer review observation, my nerves were shot the first time and I didn't show myself to my best. The second time was much less stressful!

Hopefully someone has sat down calmly with the teacher and asked the following questions:

How would you usually have dealt with the situation (most likely very differently).
What went wrong (probably nerves which resulted in her panicking)
How can we help you in future (strategies, unofficial observation etc)

Kazooblue · 13/03/2013 13:57

Blimey how is she going to handle Ofsted walking in half way through a lesson.

I was an NQT once and sorry I would never have melted with the arrival of a late child.

Teachers should be leaving college ready to teach,shit happens every day in your average school.She doesn't sound ready tbh and yes I'd be asking about my dc's education too.

Yabu.

ilovesooty · 13/03/2013 14:03

I agree with Andro

Of course it was very wrong to have this conversation and to blame your daughter. The school has no business sharing the feedback for the NQT either.

As for some of the posts though - so the teacher panics in this situation and handles it badly, yet the OP seems to have no other concerns about the teaching to date, and a couple of you think she should go in to school and express concern that her daughter is being exposed to "a year of possible inadequate teaching"?

mrsstewpot · 13/03/2013 14:17

Sorry but I find this very hard to believe - teacher would be used to late pupils and at their age these pupils would be able to come in and settle down without any bother.

Also the Head would not be at liberty to discuss NQT's marks with anyone, not even other members of staff, let alone pupils or parents.

mrsstewpot · 13/03/2013 14:29

I think you are being creative with the truth - more likely DD came in late, caused a ruckus and upset the lesson. Something unacceptable for her age. Head pulled you both in to express disappointment and particularly as teacher was being observed. No mention of teacher's low marks or inability to cope.

breatheslowly · 13/03/2013 18:08

Fair point mrsstewpot.

storynanny · 13/03/2013 18:48

Another teacher, that is absolutely disgraceful. Even if the teacher felt that your child being late flustered her she should never have put the blame on a 7 year old. Your poor child, please tell her it's not her problem, it's a grown up problem to be solved by a grown up not a 7 year old.

StuffezLaBouche · 13/03/2013 18:53

Another one unconvinced the Head shared the fact the NQT was marked poorly. However, your child shouldn't have been made to feel bad about a one off lateness,

Cherriesarelovely · 13/03/2013 19:05

I am actually outraged on your behalf!!!! You are KIDDING me???!! I cannot believe that you were hauled into the office and both made to feel terrible for that! Firstly, nearly everyone is very occasionally late, secondly, these things happen ALL the time in school (Jeez, sometimes I can hardly keep track of my class what with intervention sessions, piano, guitar, violin lessons etc) and are part of being a teacher in real life and thirdly the NQT should be able to handle alot more than someone being late!

Fair enough if you are certain you don't want to raise it with the school but YANBU to feel aggrieved by it.

Original poster

bloodyschool · 13/03/2013 20:57

mrsstewpot- you do not knmow my little girl.She is a mouse!! They are always trying to get her to come out of her shell.But even if a child any child had come in and caused a disturbance (which was not the case but even if they had) a child could only be blamed for their behaviour not for the teacher's poor assessment.

OP posts:

Yfronts · 13/03/2013 21:04

Email the head and the teacher and the LEA and explain how unreasonable it is to blame and upset a young well behaved child for NQT flustering. Highlight that children are late very often and hauling a child/parent in front of the head and reducing child to tears shows an inability to manage basic situations.

moonstorm · 13/03/2013 21:04

Definitely complain. Can't believe you want to brush it under the carpet...

moonstorm · 13/03/2013 21:05

They owe your daughter an apology.

mrsstewpot · 13/03/2013 21:14

a child could only be blamed for their behaviour not for the teacher's poor assessment

I completely agree which is why I find it difficult to believe that a head teacher would not only break confidentiality rules, but also take time out of his/her busy day to A) make your DD feel bad for her actions when she is well behaved and rarely late and B) defend a teacher that cannot cope with the most common of everyday events.

teacherandguideleader · 13/03/2013 21:14

They should not have said anything in front of your daughter, to make her feel guilty is awful. They should apologise.

I do feel for the NQT though. Things like a child being late don't phase me. When they walk in, I don't tell them off or ask why they are late, I just give them what they need for the lesson so it doesn't disrupt anything and then deal with it at the end of the lesson. However, if I am being observed, something like that would almost tip me over the edge. I hate being observed, and hate being judged on the way I handle situations. I am happy with the way I deal with things, but not everyone will agree. It doesn't take a lot to send me into a blind panic during an observation!

There is no way of knowing whether the teacher couldn't deal with the situation, or just panicked because she was being observed (which I cannot blame her since so much worth is placed on a snapshot view of her teaching abilities).

Smartiepants79 · 13/03/2013 21:14

Also a teacher.
This sounds quite extraordinary. Was it an actual teacher who said this to you or some busybody in the office.
I really think that you need to speak to the school. This is very unprofessional.
If your daughter behaves as you say then she would have made a very minimal disruption, easily ignored.
DEFINATELY not on to do this in front of your daughter.
Find this very odd.

MrsLouisTheroux · 13/03/2013 21:19

So your DD is the The archetypical model student but She was late or school one day last week (no excuses it was just a one off day wneb she was a bit tired and dilly dallying)
Not a model student on that day then. Children arriving late is disruptive unless you ignore their arrival. Which is what I do.
The NQT will learn. Which, after all, is what she is doing as an NQT.
Who asked to to go into the office? The person observing?
Your argument is with the person who talked to you about this.
It is none of your or your DD's concern what grade this teacher was given.
Her appraisal is confidential and any discussion with you about the outcome is unprofessional.
I would talk to the HT and ask why this person thought it appropriate to breach confidentiality.

MrsLouisTheroux · 13/03/2013 21:21

Smartie I'm also guessing school busybody.

BriAndLottie · 13/03/2013 21:43

If she can't cope with one child arriving a few minutes late then I wish her luck, her teaching career is doomed

ilovesooty · 13/03/2013 21:50

If she can't cope with one child arriving a few minutes late then I wish her luck, her teaching career is doomed

I think that's a bit melodramatic.

Observation is more stressful for teachers than it's ever been, so I don't think it's case for amusement either.

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