I have namechanged for this thread as I am seriously pissed off with my DH and want to vent without revealing who I am. Apologies in advance for the long post but I want to explain exactly what happened so I can get a clear verdict.
Well it all started with the checkup at the dentist I had last week. I am a SAHM (ds is 6 months) so needed someone to look after him whilst I had my checkup. I dont know many other mums in the area and the only one I did know I felt a bit cheeky asking her for help because she has 2 dcs under 5 to look after and is expecting so I thought it might be too much hassle for her especially since ds is a bit high maintenance. Anyway I asked my mum to come over from another city (about 45 minutes away) to watch ds for me and to visit us at the same time which she was happy to do. When I told my DH about my arrangement with my mum he thought I was a bit out of order dragging her so far just to watch ds for a short checkup and said I should pay for her train ticket at least. My mum came, I had my appointment, she watched ds, I forced her to accept money for the train ticket and we had lunch together. It all went smoothly.
Whilst at my checkup the dentist asked me to book another appointment for today at 1.30pm as I had to get a filling done. When I told DH he offered to come home during his lunch break to watch ds for the half hour my appointment was booked for. We dont live far from his work so this is doable but takes precise coordination. I was doubtful he could do it so I kept double checking all last week that he knew the day and time, if he wanted me to change the timing to something more convenient for him etc. I also gave him chances to opt out by offering to ask my mum instead or my friend nearby to watch ds for me (my repetitive checking will be explained later). He kept reassuring me that it was fine and he could make it home in time for my appointment.
It wasnt fine and he didnt make it on time. This morning he warned me to be ready when he got back so that he could drop me on time. He then changed plans and told me to meet him at the station in town (parking his car there). When I called him at 1.25 he was still on the way and said he would be five minutes. I called the dentists and told them I would be 5 minutes late. When I called him again after 5 mins he was still on the way. Then around 1.41 I called the dentists to explain the situation and to ask whether they would still see me. They asked how late I would be to which I couldnt give an answer and told me they might still see me but I might have to wait for my appointment which I couldnt do because dh needed to get back to work. In the end I apologised and rearranged the appointment for the following week. As soon as I hung up, dh called to say he was outside the dentists (?). This was at 1.45. I told him I had already cancelled the appointment. He told me to call back and say I changed my mind. But I told him that I was at the station so by the time I walked to the dentists (about 5 minutes away) then I would be 20 minutes late so would only have 10 minutes left of my appointment. At this point DH got quite huffy with me and we ended the phone call with me saying thanks for nothing. He texted me after this to say he would never ever do this again. I asked him what did you do? You just proved that as usual I cant rely on you for anything even with ds now in the picture.
The reason why I kept double checking with him last week is because he has a tendency to let me down when it comes to things like this (being at a certain place for a certain time, doing things that I have asked him to do for me on time) so I just jumped to the conclusion that he was again being unreliable and so I cancelled my appointment. I know when he comes home from work this is going to kick off and he is going to say that I should have gone to my appointment since he was already there and I had 15 minutes left but I didnt want to go in late and face that embarassment especially since I had actually got there on time but was late because of him. Besides could she really have done a filling in 15 minutes.
So after my long (probably boring) rant, mn jury was IBU to cancel my appointment so quickly? Should I have just waited for him and gone to my appointment even though I was probably going to be 20 minutes late? Or was he BU to be pissed off at me when he was the one who was late even though he had left work to come and watch ds for me?