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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she's being a bit melodramatic

56 replies

sooperdooper · 12/03/2013 14:35

DH was due to go to a gig with a friend next weekend, his friend's wife is 6 months pregnant.

His friend text last night to say he couldn't go anymore because of 'obvious reasons' Confused and when DH asked what he was on about he said because she'd pregnant, but she's only 6 months, is she being a bit melodramatic and what on earth will they do when they have the baby if he can't go to a gig now? Hmm

OP posts:
wannabedomesticgoddess · 12/03/2013 14:38

Well you dont know. Maybe she has terrible SPD or sickness.

Maybe DHs friend just doesnt want to go and is using that as an excuse.

pictish · 12/03/2013 14:38

It depends. There may be more to it than just the pgcy.
If it is only down to her being pg (and assuming she is keeping well) then yanbu. I can't bear divas.

BabsAndTheRu · 12/03/2013 14:40

I'm with wannabe, think he doesn't want to go and using his partner as an excuse.

SashaSashays · 12/03/2013 14:40

Some people do seem to operate under the belief that pregnancy is an illness.

I guess she could be suffering from one of the various things that can make pregnancy hell, but she does sound a bit ott.

Am assuming this is pfb?

LoversThatWentWrong · 12/03/2013 14:42

His wife isn't going to the gig right?

And shes only 6 months pregnant?

I really don't see why he can't go.

aldiwhore · 12/03/2013 14:42

Whatever she is or isn't being is really a moot point. Your DH's friend has decided he can no longer go, he's given a reason, and that's it. Therefore YABU.

It does all depend on the pregnancy. With my first I was anxious a lot, shit scared in fact, worried I'd go into labour early, worried I'd die if I was too far away from DH, and yes, it was melodramatic (I prefer to say it was anxiety) and probably unnecessary but there you go, we're all different.

With my second, at 6 months I had really rather extreme polyhydramnious (too much fluid, way to freakin much) and my mobility was severely restricted. I looked okay (just massive) and didn't tell many people, DH stayed close to home then too.

So, again YABU.

Even if she just doesn't want him to go to the gig, that's between your DH's mate and his wife isn't it.

YANBU to roll your eyes privately, and you are entitled to your opinion of course, but meh, I'm going for YABU on this one. Smile

fluffyraggies · 12/03/2013 14:43

There has to be more to it than that .....

Think of all the hundreds of threads on here and in relationships where the OP, preg. or not, has good reason for being a bit p'd off with their partner going out.

To an outsider it may look as if the pregnant partner is being a diva, but if you don't know the whole story it's better it''s better not to assume.

valiumredhead · 12/03/2013 14:43

Maybe she feels really ill and needs him around?

valiumredhead · 12/03/2013 14:44

Or maybe mate doesn't want to go with your dh and he's using his wife as an excuse?

fluffyraggies · 12/03/2013 14:45

Maybe they're skint and meant to be saving up?

Filibear · 12/03/2013 14:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 12/03/2013 15:43

All you know is what was in the text from your dh's friend, and yet you are assuming that it is his pregnant partner being melodramatic.

Unless you have some far more compelling evidence, you shouldn't be saying things like that.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 12/03/2013 16:22

Based on a couple of texts YABU. And a bit mean.

ChairmanWow · 12/03/2013 16:27

Depends on the circumstances. If it's a straightforward pregnancy and she's not suffering anxiety or anything then yes, she is being melodramatic. I went to gigs when I was pregnant with DS up til about 7 months when I couldn't be arsed to stand any more.

But you don't know what's going on privately so I guess you could be charitable and give her the benefit of the doubt.

Dannilion · 12/03/2013 16:28

YABU.

When I was 6 months PG I already had terrible SPD, hypertension and was in hospital at points with suspected pre-eclampsia. I was terrified pretty much 24/7 as most women PG with PFB are. Absolutely no-one knew about these problems aside from DP and my seniors at work. I didn't force DP to stay by my side, he wanted to.

Some of his friends probably rolled their eyes but I couldn't give a shit.

freddiemisagreatshag · 12/03/2013 16:28

How do you know she's not ill?

TheBigJessie · 12/03/2013 16:28

"Obvious reasons" Maybe she's high-risk for premature labour, then. But this seems a nasty thread. If my husband said he couldn't go somewhere, because of my pregnancy complications, I'd expect his friends to respect his decision.

ihearsounds · 12/03/2013 16:29

Yabu. You dont know how the pregnancy is going. You dont know how her health is. Not all pregnancies are straight forward.
Instead of thinking she is being melodramatic, a caring mate would ask if everything is ok and do they need help..

WhatsTheBuzz · 12/03/2013 16:31

what are you on about, 'she's' being melodramatic, I thought her DH was the one deciding not to go?

Floggingmolly · 12/03/2013 16:34

It's the phrase "obvious reasons", instead of just saying she's not feeling great.

After all, she was presumably pregnant when the tickets were booked, so the mere fact of her pregnancy as a reason for backing out is not obvious at all...

ThunderInMyHeart · 12/03/2013 16:38

Hmmm, how long ago was this arranged? Before or after they knew she was pregnant?

Dannilion · 12/03/2013 16:40

Maybe he doesn't want to say 'she's not feeling great', because people may ask 'what's wrong' and she may not want anyone knowing.

Pregnancy and the health issues that come with it are a private matter IMO.

HumphreyCobbler · 12/03/2013 16:41

Some people do seem to operate under the belief that pregnancy is an illness.

to be fair, I am bloody ill BECAUSE I am pregnant. I know lots of people breeze through it, but lots don't.

iwantavuvezela · 12/03/2013 16:42

He might be using his wife's pregnancy as an excuse not to go!

SneakyNinja · 12/03/2013 16:44

I'd vouch that it's actually your DH's mate that IBU in this situation. Some guys just love to dismiss everything on 'pregnancy hormones'.
By using the phrase 'for obvious' reasons it suggests to me an image of the guy shrugging and rolling his eyes In a 'lets humour the crazy mare' gesture. Obviously I may be generalising here, but something about his wording irritates me Hmm