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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she's being a bit melodramatic

56 replies

sooperdooper · 12/03/2013 14:35

DH was due to go to a gig with a friend next weekend, his friend's wife is 6 months pregnant.

His friend text last night to say he couldn't go anymore because of 'obvious reasons' Confused and when DH asked what he was on about he said because she'd pregnant, but she's only 6 months, is she being a bit melodramatic and what on earth will they do when they have the baby if he can't go to a gig now? Hmm

OP posts:
QuickLookBusy · 12/03/2013 16:49

I expect there's another reason and he's decided to blame his wife.

leniwhite · 12/03/2013 17:07

Whether they knew she was pregnant before booking is irrelevant - 6 months in is a lot different to 3 months in. I felt completely normal early on but by 6 months I had an instinct to stay home at night, just listening to the body. Partners rightly should be part of pregnancy by being home when needed, however judgemental others are about their reasons.

ThunderInMyHeart · 12/03/2013 17:13

leni- I was asking more to try to ascertain a better feel i.e. if they booked tickets 6 months ago, well, presumably he was wanting to go enough to wait 6 months for the concert or whatever. If they booked 2 days ago, it might be more likely that he's less inclined to go than had he made a commitment 6 months ago.

Then again, the opposite could be argued.

Gah, ignore me!

SpringHare · 12/03/2013 17:16

It's impossible to say whether she's BU. At the very least I think her DH has failed to convey his own choices very satisfactorily.

SamuelWestsMistress · 12/03/2013 17:16

I went to see Kasabian at 39 weeks pregnant. Nothing was going to stop me! Sounds as if this lady can't be bothered to go, which is fine, but obviously her husband is a bit of a weakling and has to do as he's told. Many couples operate like this!

thezebrawearspurple · 12/03/2013 17:19

She could be very ill, he could be using her pregnancy as an excuse because he doesn't want to go or he may prefer staying at home with her and bump. Who knows...

leniwhite · 12/03/2013 17:47

Possibly you're over thinking it because you really don't know - can't someone else go instead?

Owllady · 12/03/2013 17:50

I went to see the smashing pumkins when i was about 8 months pregnant , I didn't even think anything of it Confused

but it's up to your husbands mate what he chooses or doesn't choose to do and he isn't pregnant anyway, but maybe he is worried his waters will break or something

LineRunner · 12/03/2013 17:51

I don't really see how this is her fault.

WestieMamma · 12/03/2013 18:02

I'm currently 7 months pregnant. My husband gets into a panic about leaving me to walk the dog round the block. He rings me several times a day to check I'm still alive ok. There's no way he'd go out for the evening now. Nothing to do with me being a drama llama or anything, all down to him freaking out at things beyond his normal experience.

Maybe it's the same for your husband's friend?

Coconutty · 12/03/2013 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AllOverIt · 12/03/2013 18:11

Pregnancy was a sodding illness for me. All power to you lot who breezed through it, but puking everyday, horrendous heartburn, wheelchair bound with SPD for the last three months was worse than just illness.

Good job my kids are gorgeous so it was worth it. Just Wink

waltermittymissus · 12/03/2013 18:14

I love how she's being melodramatic because he said he's not going!

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 12/03/2013 18:18

yes, pregnancy is akin to illness for me too.

I hate being pregnant (luckily I love the end result though!) as it is so bloody limiting, painful and uncomfortable.

PGP (SPD as was), lengthy to-do with sickness, horrific hormone surges and exhausted constantly.

I'd love to be one of those who can hold their hands on their hearts and say "I loved being PG" I really would, but I can't.

I have been a hermit for the past few months and had exDP and I still been together, I would have expected him to be supportive and not continue his social life while I festered on the sofa feeling like crap. Rightly or wrongly, that's how I would have felt.

As it is, he's my ex so he can do what he wants the bastard and is enjoying his weekends away and trips to the footy! (luckily he is a nice bloke so I don't really begrudge him this -much )

Of course, your DH's friend could just not want to go to the gig and is using his innocent wife as an excuse!

WhatsTheBuzz · 12/03/2013 18:22

I'm
pretty appalled by the assumptions that she is a melodramatic nag whose
weakling husband is under the thumb - all this, based on HER HUSBAND
deciding he doesn't want to go out with his mate anymore --probably came
up with an excuse because he knew he'd be challenged on it--.

pictish · 12/03/2013 18:24

Those of you who did not enjoy being pg owing to illness, SPD and other things...would you have had your OH cancel a night out at a gig?

WhatsTheBuzz · 12/03/2013 18:24

fucking strikethrough fail, i suck!

HumphreyCobbler · 12/03/2013 18:26

no, not really pictish

I expect it is the DH just bailing out.

I just get really riled with the 'pregnancy is not an illness' comments.

WhatsTheBuzz · 12/03/2013 18:27

must have missed the bit where op said his dw made him cancel. Confused Hmm

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM · 12/03/2013 18:29

no I wouldnt - not the odd night out in fairness but if it was a regular social life and I was unwell then I probably would.

Catchingmockingbirds · 12/03/2013 18:35

Confused I don't get this, how do you know it's her making the decision that he can't go because she's pregnant? All you've said is that he replied "obvious reasons, she's pregnant", not "she says I've not to go for obvious reasons, she's pregnant"...

pictish · 12/03/2013 18:36

I don't know whether she made him cancel or not...I was just asking in the interests of working it out, because I'd be Hmm at that excuse as well.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 12/03/2013 19:51

YABU. You dont know the full story.

Catbag · 12/03/2013 19:59

I went to see Tool in Manchester when I was 7 months pregnant. Sat in the circle out of the way, but there nevertheless :)

AllOverIt · 12/03/2013 20:01

Not the odd night out, no. Smile