To have not given my atheist SIL a religious present?

[outingmyselfhere]

She's not speaking to me because I didn't give her newborn a little crucifix and holy medal when he was born.

I do always give them to my family members when they have a baby, but I didn't know what to do because she is atheist and I didn't want to offend her. I thought she might think that I was trying to convert them or push it on them. My brother is very very lapsed so I didn't think that he would particularly appreciate it either. Of course I gave her clothes and other presents too.

Now she says I am treating them differently and she's not going to stand for it.

Don't worry, I know. But I think you need to tell her that. Go on. Pick up the phone.

Look. It's over there. Dial that number!

Thanks for all your help, btw!

don't apologise, you have done nothing wrong. You could say something like "I was really surprised to hear that you were unhappy about not receiving a crucifix and holy medal for your baby. Of course if I had thought you would have liked to receive religious items like that, I would have been happy to get them for you but I thought that being an atheist you would not liked it. That is why I didn't get them for you and got other gifts instead which I was sure would not cause you offence. Since I now know you would like to have them, I am more than happy to get them for you and the baby so I'll be popping them in the post to you in a couple of days".

You don't have to actually apologise IYSWIM

Would just like to let you all know I had a chat with my SIL this afternoon and did ask for the crucifix and holy medal. I just said I'm very happy to hear that and I'll see her this weekend.

Thank you for your help and calming me down, it was much appreciated!

*she did

Well done! That's lovely to hear. I expect in a year's time, when she's forgotten how it all actually felt at the time, she'll laugh. You have done a Good Thing today; otherwise this could probably have festered for years.

Humans and their emotions, eh?

maybe she thinks it is a family tradition and she feels left out or her baby has been left out, not sure how she isn't going to stand for it though she sounds bonkers a bit offended thats all, apologise say what you said to us and hope she comes round

Would just like to let you all know I had a chat with my SIL this afternoon and did ask for the crucifix and holy medal. I just said I'm very happy to hear that and I'll see her this weekend.

aww thats good ( i really should read whole threads)

Does she have those baby hormones going on that I keep hearing about?

As an atheist myself I'd have been delighted that you were sensitive enough to think outside the box with regards to gifts, rather than give what would seem to me some meaningless religious trinkets related to your faith.*

But, I have heard all sorts about these baby hormones, and I reckon she was having some of those and was a bit sad that her little one didn't receive the same/was treated the same as everyone elses.

*I realise they have a meaning far more significant than that! But for somebody that doesn't follow your faith they can seem a bit... odd. Well, not odd, but there is no meaning there other than "this is our faith, this is what we do". Again that doesn't really convey the feeling behind the gift, but is vaguely (this particular) atheist perspective. Urgh. This is why I failed RE!

Either way, if she and thee and both now happy, you can all get on with enjoying the new menace in the family!

I'm glad it's sorted OP, YWereNBU but you did the right/good thing.