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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my own food

43 replies

Dylanlovesbaez · 11/03/2013 20:06

Well, not mine exactly but dds! She will be 1 and we have a wedding to go to, I've already said I will bring her food but apparently I'm being unreasonable to not want her to have chicken nuggets and ice cream!

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 11/03/2013 20:09

It depends.

Chicken nuggets are not always 'junk food' (greatly depends on how they are prepared) and a little bit of ice cream is not that bad.

What is your reason for not wanting her to have the food? And how old will DD be in months? There is a world of difference between 13 months and 23 IYSWIM.

Hassled · 11/03/2013 20:11

Firstly - great name :o

Secondly - can you really not let it slide for one meal for the sake of a harmonious happy wedding? If you really do have to bring something else make damn sure you're discreet about it - do not whip out the healthy goodness in a loud parenting sort of way. Probably best to just smile and nod, say yes, the nuggets are fine thanks, and then slip her whatever while people are busy toasting the bridesmaids.

aldiwhore · 11/03/2013 20:11

No need to make a fuss, just take your own food... no one will bat an eyelid.

YWBU to make a huge song and dance about it, YANBU to bring all sorts of food, snacks, drinks, toys, distraction tools.

ClippedPhoenix · 11/03/2013 20:11

Bring your own food and let her have a chew on the nuggets if she's able. I'm sure she can cope with the icecream. Why would this be such a big deal? Have you made a fuss in the first place?

Inertia · 11/03/2013 20:11

Take food anyway. Better to have the choice - and anyway there's usually hours to wait between the wedding and the meal.

chocoluvva · 11/03/2013 20:11

Could she have some bits and bobs from your plate?

MerylStrop · 11/03/2013 20:14

I think you should not risk offending the hosts by even discussing it. Taking stuff that causes any effort or bother - ie organic mush to be reheated would be rude in the extreme, IMO. As a one-off nuggets and ice cream won't do her any harm, but IME little kids at weddings don't eat any of what is served up anyway.

But given that it is a wedding and food is served as suits the party not the tiny guests, a handbag full of snacks should ensure she has food when she needs it.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 11/03/2013 20:14

Saying that you will bring your own is basically saying the bride and groom are trying to poison your precious darling with junk.

Just take your own food and say nothing. I dont know why you had to make a fuss over it.

catgirl1976 · 11/03/2013 20:14

If it's a decent venue they may be home made nuggets, not mass produced crap

And ice cream won't hurt surely?

YANBU to take your own food though if you think it will be crap food for her

Bogeyface · 11/03/2013 20:15

Depends. If she will be just 1 then YANBU, they are still babies then. But my dd is 22 months and is perfectly happy chomping down a chicken nugget that she stole from her older sisters happy meal, I didnt buy her some to stop her screaming and throwing her banana away, oh no, not me.

If she will eat them but you "no junk for my PFB" then YABU and should just let it go for the sake of one meal on one day.

Bogeyface · 11/03/2013 20:17

I should say though, I dont get why the default at weddings is chicken nuggets and chips! At my wedding I served the same meals as the adults, and it all got eaten, but then my lot are weird and dont like baked beans, can take or leave chips and would always rather eat "grown up"meals. Which is a right PITA if you just want to throw pizza and oven chips at them :o

Original poster
Dylanlovesbaez · 11/03/2013 20:19

She will be just 1 and I didn't make a fuss at all. I was asked months ago what I wanted to do because the adult meals were set in stone and she's only child there so I just said that it would be no bother, I would bring stuff for her. Just snacky finger food, minimum fuss. Now it's all of a sudden being made into a huge deal. I was just trying to do what's easiest! I'm also being told what she should wear!! It's mils wedding by the way.

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 11/03/2013 20:20

I take food for DS everywhere. No need to mention it though. Just give it to him discreetly if needed.

Bogeyface · 11/03/2013 20:20

If it's a decent venue they may be home made nuggets, not mass produced crap

Very unlikely. I have worked in some v posh places and they served the same crap that you get in wetherspoons type venues. 3663 anyone Wink

Bogeyface · 11/03/2013 20:21

If she is just one, could you say that she probably wont be hungry at that time (especially if you time her earlier meals/snacks) and that if she wants anything you will just feed her off your plate?

MerylStrop · 11/03/2013 20:22

Oh, it seems you've had it whatever you do

Let the venue serve up whatever they see fit. She might eat it, she might not. Don't be horrified if she eats ice-cream. Let it wash over you, knowing that the next day normality will resume.

Take some stuff for her but nowt that needs reheating.

Allow her to be dressed by MIL with good grace. If she gets icecream all over it she can change into something more to your taste.

oopslateagain · 11/03/2013 20:23

So she is the only child there, you have offered to take your own food for her, and yet they're going out of their way to cater for her? They're barmy! Smile, agree, and feed her your own snacks.

Does MIL want her in the photos as a sort of way too young flower girl? If so, I could understand her wanting a particular colour, for instance. But honestly, at 1yo she'll be in about five outfits over the course of the day because she's bound to make a complete mess of the first couple.

catgirl1976 · 11/03/2013 20:23

MILS wedding?

YANBU on anything. This would be my worst nightmare Thanks

Original poster
Dylanlovesbaez · 11/03/2013 20:24

Timing wise, it's not going to be ideal anyway so I wouldn't really have a choice, I would need to feed her in between. Just fed up with the fuss, I'm not being precious!

OP posts:
ClippedPhoenix · 11/03/2013 20:25

Now the story has changed a bit hasn't it OP.

My DS eats crap sometimes, what's the big deal.

blackteaplease · 11/03/2013 20:25

I would take food anyway as wedding meals aren't always at child friendly times and the service can be very slow. At least then you will be able to feed your baby what you want, when you want.

Go for the old nod and smile to MIL. As for the clothes, if they want her in the wedding party and are willing to pay for the outfit then fair enough, otherwise I would say that you already have an outfit thanks.

Original poster
Dylanlovesbaez · 11/03/2013 20:27

Oopslateagain, yes, in her head that's what she wants but dp said no. Even before she had asked for her to be (way too young) flower girl she told me she could wear white to match her and put a ribbon around her to match bridesmaids and that she could be carried up the aisle by her new stepdaughter!! Wtf?! They are all pretty much strangers to dd.
I don't think I will win this one! Will just let then plate it up and let her throw it like she usually does!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 11/03/2013 20:27

take snacky bits to keep her happy, sit her down to the served meal let her eat as much or as little as she wants of the meal - whats the issue?

CloudsAndTrees · 11/03/2013 20:28

Let your MIL buy her the meal, your dd can play with the nuggets and whatever and have a try if she wants to. You can take your own food without telling anyone, and just get it out of your bag when it's needed. Your mil won't notice, she will be busy having a wedding. And if she does notice, what's she going to do about it really?

nkf · 11/03/2013 20:28

To be honest, at most weddings, I wish I'd brought my own food. Don't make a big deal about it. Just give her whatever you brought.