To take my own food

[Dylanlovesbaez]

Well, not mine exactly but dds! She will be 1 and we have a wedding to go to, I've already said I will bring her food but apparently I'm being unreasonable to not want her to have chicken nuggets and ice cream!

Clippedphoenix it's not really the food that's the problem, it's the fact that I'm being made to feel like I'm being unreasonable when I thought I was being helpful!

And I think its nice that they want their grandaughter to be a part of it. If she isn't happy on the day to go up with the step daughter then she doesn't have to but really what harm would it do to let her be a 'flower girl' for the day?

Oh, and why the exclamation mark at being told what she should wear? Is it really that horrible for you to have to let your mil have some say in what her baby granddaughter wears at her wedding?

Unless she is a complete cow bag from hell, just let her enjoy her grandchild on her wedding day!

My ideal wedding would be "bring your own" but thats another thread I think!

Well then it's to do with you not really getting on with your MIL and family isn't it. With respect that wasn't how you came across in your opening.

Sirzy, sadly there's quite a lot that has gone on in the past. This wedding is our worst nightmare. Mil only wants dd for photos and there is never any effort on her part but there's more to it than this, it's a long boring story.

Totally agree clippedphoenix, should have made it clearer.
Cloudsandtrees, why should she make any decisions on what my dd wears? It's her wedding yes but I don't think she should have any say in what my dd wears!

Well, take your own. Tell MIL it's highly unlikely DD will be hungry at that time so you'll take some snacks to keep her going, but if MIL would rather not bother having a meal for DD, you won't mind and you and DH will share yours. If she really wants to get something for DD, fine.

For the outfit, it doesn't sound like your MIL is asking for anything too extreme. It's your MIL's wedding day, let her have it they way she wants

Its one day. Really is it worth causing an argument about?

Sirzy, the problem is, it's not just this. She plays no part in dds life if it inconveniences her so I do not want her dictating to me what she wears and who she is with. The thought of the whole day is already making me nervous, even if we didn't have dd I would still be feeling the same, even when she visits I feel sick for days beforehand. I don't want to argue but I don't want to bow down to her like everyone else does just because its easier. I'm aware that I sound like a spoilt brat but I honestly am not, there's a lot of history.

Thanks everyone for responses. I can see that maybe I'm being a bit unreasonable but I think I need to be if that makes sense!
Will take snacks and if food is served up then dd can have a go at it. Thanks.

The trouble is that when you have history with someone, something that would be slightly annoying but ignorable from anyone else, becomes a very big deal. Its another example of their shitty behaviour so isnt as easy to grin and bear as if it was a one off because of wedding stress.

Hope you get through the day ok! Smile, nod and do whatever is best for your dd, chance are MIL wont even notice :)

Oh. Sympathies from me.

Secret snacks in your handbag, food from your plate, help her out with the wretched nuggets and hope she's sick on your MIL.

Smile at Mil, look thankful at kids meal being provided, take your own snacks anyway and feed when necessary. Hand her bits for your plate if you want, let any adults take a nugget and chip or two.

The food doesn't have to be either/or- DD can have some of whatever the children's meal is and whatever snacks/ sandwiches/ jars you bring. Only thing that might be problematic is if you take something home-made that needs reheating, because the kitchen staff will be busy.

Let DH fight the battle of flower girl dresses. Take plenty of changes of clothes anyway. Your DD will probably not want to be prised off you to go down the aisle, and whatever else happens MIL probably won't notice (especially if she's very self-centred when she's not being a bride).

what are you going to take for her would you want the place to heat it up for you id ask if there is some soup and give her something of your plate dont take your own and she is 1 so can nibble from your plate ask for some potaoes etc for her and then she can have ice cream

I appreciate that there is some backstory to this, but it's her wedding day. I think you should just suck this up and let her have it.

Honestly, her providing your child with food and asking for her to wear something specific is actually nothing in terms of how bridezilla like some women can get.

I think you should relinquish the control on this one and just go along with MIL's plans. None of them are bad anyway. Take snacks and just go with the flow.

It does sound like a nightmare for you

The food is a non-issue. Let MIL serve your DD whatever she likes, and then provide your own snacks.

As for the clothes, I can understand your feelings, but on this one day I think it's for the best to bite your tongue and go with the flow. A white dress can have several outings so it won't be a waste of money, she'll be in it all of five minutes before it's white-with-interesting-splodges anyway. Let MIL have her wedding photos and save your battles for another day.

If your MIL insists on a complete stranger carrying your DD through the church and your DD has a meltdown, well it's hardly going to be your fault, is it!