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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to expect her to replace the coat?

50 replies

dilys4trevor · 11/03/2013 19:03

So at DS1's nursery, my son and another child have the exact same coat (M&S, warm, but quite bog standard), except my son's is a different size (bigger). I bought it a few weeks ago in the sale.

Last week the other kid's parent took home my DS's coat in error. Today she brings it back in. It is filthy and the fabric is ripped beyond repair. Clearly, a parent has struggled with the zip and lost their rag, ripping the coat completely.

Parent blamed it on the child (must be a very strong 2 year old!) and tried to give the coat back (according to the staff). Staff said that the coat was ruined and so other mum said it cost 16 quid and so she will bring that money in tomorrow for me.

If it were me, I would a) be mortified and b) offer to go out and buy a replacement coat. If that coat was no longer available (and it won't be - it was a sale item) then I would take the potential hit of buying similar coat for more money elsewhere. Or if I really couldn't spare the time, I would offer say 30 quid for a replacement.

It was the other parent's mistake (and mistakes happen) but then the coat was ruined, so why should I be the person traipsing back to the shops two weeks after I bought it, to probably not find the same coat for the same money and end up spending more? It isn't about the money though, more about time I don't have.

I have asked the staff to ask the mum (not seen her and don't know who she is) to ask her to replace the coat. AIBU?

I really must be sad to be so bothered about this.

OP posts:
FryOneFatManic · 11/03/2013 19:05

I don't think you are unreasonable to expect a coat to be provided in exchange. It was ruined in their house (by whoever) so they can do the shopping for a replacement.

janek · 11/03/2013 19:06

You're not. You're completely right. Not much help, but true!

Moominsarehippos · 11/03/2013 19:07

I'd be livid! You can't just take something that's not yours and trash it! How rude.

PrincessUnderpaid · 11/03/2013 19:15

Yanbu.

For it to come back broken with the offer to take it for repair is one thing but to hand it back dirty is just poor manners.

mrsstewpot · 11/03/2013 19:15

How do you know she isn't 'mortified'? Perhaps she asked the nursery staff to pass on her apologies and they forgot/couldn't be bothered.

I agree it's very, very annoying but she has offered you the money. Don't think she can, realistically, do anything more.

Moominsarehippos · 11/03/2013 19:17

But if you damaged it you wouldn't just hand it back would you? You'd at least wash it or try to repair it.

mrsstewpot · 11/03/2013 19:18

Forgot about the filthy bit - yeah she should've washed it at least.

TheDetective · 11/03/2013 19:22

She should offer the value for something similar, which would probably be around £30, and something for your inconvenience.

I wouldn't be happy with someone going out and buying a coat outright, but would accept money for the full price of the coat.

bonzoed · 11/03/2013 19:22

You are not going to get her to actually buy the replacement. That is unrealistic - and as you said, she won't be able to buy an exact replacement so would you want her to choose the replacement.

I feel your pain but you have done well to get an offer of money.

LandofTute · 11/03/2013 19:26

I wouldn't tell her to buy a replacement as she might go and buy a cheap, crap replacement that you don't want.

CloudsAndTrees · 11/03/2013 19:31

YANBU, but I wouldn't want someone else to choose my child's coat for them.

I would print out replacements that I'd be happy with from the Internet for a similar price as your coat was new, and then ask her to provide one of those.

OhTheConfusion · 11/03/2013 19:31

How does the mother know you got it on sale? I would want the retail price of the coat when it went on sale.

OhTheConfusion · 11/03/2013 19:31

When I say on sale I mean the full price when it first came into the shop

NeverWinsMNComps · 11/03/2013 19:33

I probably would have gone out and gotten the replacement already instead of returning a broken and dirty item.

Twogoodreasons · 11/03/2013 19:34

I was going to ask the same as confusion ^

eavesdropping · 11/03/2013 19:35

YABU expecting her to go and buy the replacement herself. If the same coat isn't available, how is she supposed to know what you would want?

She should be giving you a full price refund though.

Hawkmoth · 11/03/2013 19:35

Oh lord, I would have bought a replacement AND faked the name tag so as not to be found out! The gall of some people.

eavesdropping · 11/03/2013 19:35

And a grovelling apology.

HorribleMother · 11/03/2013 19:42

I don't think you have any right to expect RRP, only what you paid for it. And even that is a bit iffy (most I've paid for any of DC coats was £8; if that's all she paid in a charity shop she won't get where you're coming from, either). I wouldn't trust her to buy the right replacement or look after it properly before handing it over.

This has come up on MN before. I expect to see an ad up on MN soon "Insure your child's clothing against unforeseeable damage by strangers now! Only £1.99/month per item! Grab yourself a bargain!"

ChipTheFish · 11/03/2013 19:42

Since she bought her coat in the sale too, she would know that it was unlikely she would be able to find you a replacement.

It must be annoying, but I think you are going to have to cut your losses on this one and take the £16.

John Lewis have this in the sale www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-boy-stamp-mac/p225479 for £14. Only age 4 left though.

sneezecakesmum · 11/03/2013 19:44

Not at all. Judge Judy would say it needs replacing with a new coat!

sppp · 11/03/2013 19:44

I would much rather have the money than a replacement. What will you do if she buys a really cheap, thin one? You can't ask her to keep changing it, I'd just take the money and choose one myself.

Have you considered looking on ebay to see if they have one the same?

givemeaboost · 11/03/2013 19:47

yabu to be sending her in a coat that cost £30 in the first place! buy cheap and cheerful for nursery and school, itll only get broken/lost etc etc

morethanpotatoprints · 11/03/2013 19:48

Can you check with M&S if they have the coat in stock, either by phone or online. Check price and order and take receipt to the parent?

CloudsAndTrees · 11/03/2013 19:50

Why doesn't OP have a right to expect full retail price for it?

She won't get another one in the sale, the sales have finished. She should be given what it costs to replace the coat that was ruined. Not just half of it.