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Original poster

To wonder if dads do prefer sons?

36 replies

LabradorWanders · 11/03/2013 11:52

I know this wouldn't apply to the majority of dads, but I noticed on a recent thread about dads who made very little effort/messed around with contact/became absent, that every single poster had a daughter rather than a son.
I know this was probably just coincidence, but I also only know 1 son with an absent father, whereas there are a few girls.
Also it got me thinking back to my DD's (now fairly uninvolved) dad's desperation for a son rather than a daughter during the pregnancy.

Is this something other people have noticed too, or is it just me?

OP posts:
lrichmondgabber · 11/03/2013 11:54

I think dads would like at least one son.

JammySplodger · 11/03/2013 11:56

I've not noticed it, and I know a fair few dads with daughters.

On the flip side, I've never been desperate for a daughter, and am more than happy to have two lovely boys.

ShowOfHands · 11/03/2013 11:57

It's true but ideally a real woman will give her husband a son and a daughter. I did this for my husband and it's made life so much easier. He has his princess and he has his heir. He can play football with our ds and then come home to a clean, bathed daughter and read her stories. Of course he's also pleased with me providing the ideal family and gives me extra housekeeping and the odd gift here and there to show his appreciation.

Sugarice · 11/03/2013 11:59

I have three Sons and have never felt a loss at not having had a daughter.

HamAlive · 11/03/2013 11:59

Are you being serious, Show ?

TooTiredToBeCreative · 11/03/2013 11:59

Lol SOH I have just sprayed tea all over my iPad!

PedlarsSpanner · 11/03/2013 12:00

arf Showy

AdoraBell · 11/03/2013 12:01

The only person I've really noticed a preference with is MIL. She actually told me to be careful not have "too many girls". Other than that I can only really comment on people I know, so my own family - no idea if my father had a preference, siblings, again nothing expressed in terms of gender, and friends haven't seemed to be fussed as long a DCs are healthy.

I think maybe it's more a case of societies, rather than individual men or women, believing that male offspring are better for the future because of all the old prejudices that haven't quite been removed in the developed world and are still going strong in the developing world.

Original poster
LabradorWanders · 11/03/2013 12:01

I don't mean "men want boys women want girls" but that when it's a seperated dad from day 1, there seems to be much less of an interest in daughters from what I've seen.

OP posts:
GirlWiththeLionHeart · 11/03/2013 12:04

No. My dad always wanted a girl and got me. I have a friend who also always wanted a daughter and got one and doesn't want anymore dcs.

My dp always wanted a boy first though, and so did I.

poozlepants · 11/03/2013 12:04

Of the families in my immediate circle I can think of with sons and daughters most of the Dad's dote on their daughters and are much harder on their sons.

targaryen24 · 11/03/2013 12:04

Showy - thanks for the chuckle Grin

I didn't know you could choose the gender! Must've missed one of my antenatal classes Hmm

And why on earth can't your daughter play footie? Has she really got to sit around being nice and clean? I'd rather have more boys if that's the case...

Pozzled · 11/03/2013 12:04

LOL Showofhands. You must be so proud of how well you take care of your darling hubby.

I on the other hand, am a complete and utter failure, having only produced daughters. I can't imagine how my DH puts up with me, he must feel such constant disappointment.

OP, some men are just twats.

JammySplodger · 11/03/2013 12:08

Of parents I know who have split, whether they have a son or daughter doesn't make a blind bit of difference for contact from the moved-out parent - it's more down to whether they're just a bit of an arse.

RooneyMara · 11/03/2013 12:08

Totally depends on the man and what his background/emotional leanings are like.

Some men will fight to see a son but not a daughter; some men will not bother with a son but consider a daughter their 'little princess' or whatever - and many, many other variations of these scenarios.

I'm talking about not particularly helpful men, here, in the first place. Most normal, nice blokes probably don't mind either way - it's the fucked up ones that will usually express a definite preference. IME

SonOfAradia · 11/03/2013 12:23

I wanted a daughter, not desperately but it would have been nice. DW and produced a son in the end - it's no problem, I love him to bits and wasn't at all disappointed when he was born. Never will have a daughter, as we can't have any more children.

Not going to do the football thing with him, though I bloody HATE football (played by overpaid, overentitled wankers). We'll play Warhammer instead Grin

SilverOldie · 11/03/2013 12:42

My DF wanted 2 daughters and that's what he got. Not all fathers want sons.

Theicingontop · 11/03/2013 12:51

I'm pregnant with number 2, OH wants another boy. Not for any macho reason, purely 'cause it'll be cheaper Hmm tight-arse.

I haven't noticed what you've observed, op. I know plenty of shitty dads who ignore their sons too.

Longdistance · 11/03/2013 12:58

I think my dh would like a boy. He's into is rugby heavily.

Unfortunately for him, I'm done with having 2 dd's, and unless he gets pg himself, then he's on his own.

firesidechat · 11/03/2013 13:03

My husband very much wanted girls rather than boys.

We had daughters who are now grown up and he only mentioned the preference when they were a few years old. He had sisters rather than brothers and a somewhat distant relationship with his dad, so it makes some sense.

He's a lovely man so pretty sure that he would have adapted to a son too.

Doingakatereddy · 11/03/2013 13:04

I have noticed this - three Mums whose partners left & they had girls. Now - I'd love to hope this is co-incidental but feel deep down it's not.

My gut feel is that men like to 'shape' sons themselves & struggle to think if another man fathering them.

This is just an opinion, may be total nonsense!

sannaville · 11/03/2013 13:08

My Dh wanted two girls and that's what he got! He never wanted a son and he's never said why although am sure if we dis have one he would be fine with it. Our dd1 plays footy so he gets to do the sports side with her :)

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 11/03/2013 13:09

Most men I know would probably like a boy at some point.

I have a friend with two DD's and her DH is desperate to try for a boy, but she won't consider it, he's still an amazing dad to their DD's though. I have another friend who has 4 children, their 4th was a boy so they're not going to have any more.

My dad fully admits that he'd have had more children in the hope that one of them would have been a boy but my mum was done after 2.

I think if my DS was a DD then DH would probably be a bit more vocal about wanting another child. As it is, he's happy to stick at 1. However I'm sure that if we only had a DD, he'd be as good with her as he is with our DS.

Tailtwister · 11/03/2013 13:15

DH never expressed a preference. I on the other hand always wanted boys and we ended up with 2! I'm sure a girl would have been lovely too, but I have no desire to have one.

I'm guessing that most men adjust to loving exactly what they end up with.

smellysocksandchickenpox · 11/03/2013 13:19

I don't see the connection, I know as many little boys as girls with estranged dads, and lots of very involved dads of girls who arent with the mums

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