Not included on DP's Mother's Day card

[Dysgu]

This is a discussion that DP and I have every year and I really don't know which if us is being U.

DP sends his DMum a card for Mother's Day but only signs it as being from him, DD1 and DD2. I am never included. We have been together for 10 years, lived together for 7+ years and have 2DC and a third due any time, so clearly a long-term, serious relationship. I get on very well with his DMum.

He does not see why I should be included in a card to his DMum. I have no real problem with not being included apart from the fact that he does include DDs - he says he includes then as she is their DGrandmother but I say it is Mother's Day not Grandmother's Day.

I automatically include him (and DDs) on card to my DMum as surely we all wish her a lovely day?

Opinions please??

My husband signs his card just from him (I presume, i don't stand over him when he writes it). She's not my mum, same when I send a father's day card to my dad.
It seems odd to omit you if he adds the kids though as she isn't their mum either, so in that respect he should either send it from just him or everyone.

I send a card to my mum from just me and DH send one to his mum from just him, a couple of years ago I noticed that my MIL got mothers day cards from her grandchildren, we don't send one to either of our mums from our daughter as her grandmother's are not DD mother and the same goes for fathers day.

I did ask DH yesterday if he felt bad that our DD was the only grandchild not to send MIL a card and he said no why would DD send one.

Is it the norm to send a mothers/fathers day card to grandmothers/fathers? we never did when we were kids.

I don't include my husband on mother's day cards to my mum, and would get very narked if he included me on his. My MIL is not my mum I've got a perfectly good one of those of my own!

One of my married daughters put her husband's name on my card, the other didn't. I really don't mind either way. It's up to them. (I do love my sons in law!!)

I send a card to my mother from me. DH sends one to his mother from him. It's Mothers' Day not Grandmothers' Day.

What everyone else does isn't really important though. What's important is that you've told him that what he does upsets you and he carries on doing it.

My DH and I each send cards individually to our respective Mums. I only have one Mum and want to send a card to her and her alone; I want to buy a card and write a note in it which has real feeling in it - it doesn't seem right to do that and to add my husband's name on it as he doesn't have the same relationship with my Mum, even though they get on very well. The same applies with my DH and his Mum. I get on well with my MIL and love her but certainly not in the same way that my DH loves her or in the same way that I love my own Mum.

When we have our baby, I very much doubt either of us would include him/her on a Mother's Day card to our own Mum. It seems an odd thing to do, IMO, as she would be their Grandma, not their Mum.

However, I can very much understand why you would feel hurt if your DP includes the children on his card but excludes you.

Card should be just from him to his mum.

Your kids send a card to you (ie their mum)

Then everyone should get drunk and eat chocolate.

We have always put both mine and DH's name on all Mothers/Fathers day cards. In fact, I write both the cards. We have been together since we were 14 so we have grown up with both sets.

DC also go on my mums card but MIL/FIL get a separate grandparent card from them as that is what they do in their family.