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AIBU?

AIBU to think that punishing a reception age child...

68 replies

Mammagaga · 08/03/2013 19:22

AIBU to think that punishing a reception age child by sending them to stand in the corridor outside the classroom is inappropriate and irresponsible?

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auntpetunia · 08/03/2013 20:12

I suppose it depends on the school lay out, in my school reception children sent to the corridor are outside the office or the heads room, they are only there for a minute or two and the teacher can see them as we have windows in the door. Sometimes time out has to mean out.

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Mammagaga · 08/03/2013 20:16

My child isn't taking lumps out of the other child, after 4 months of him coming home with SERIOUS injuries and disgusting bruises from school and AFTER the other child began to punch and kick him in between his legs and AFTER the school have refused to do anything about it he has been told to retaliate when he is punched and kicked in between the legs. Since then he has been pinched in between the legs and The day after i complained to the head I was assured that there would be a member of staff to keep him away from my child yet the following day he gets punched in the head in front of his dad who was taking him into school and has his head pushed into a water fountain resulting in a lump on his head in front of a member of staff...!

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Mammagaga · 08/03/2013 20:21

Yellowandfreenabdredandblue I have just withdrawn him until I submit a formal letter of complaint and they can convince me that he is safe in school...

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YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue · 08/03/2013 20:21

Stop sending him in if the child is punching him in the head.

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YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue · 08/03/2013 20:23

Ah, x-post! Good, I can't see what else can be done, this should not be happening.

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PurpleRayne · 08/03/2013 20:23

YABU to leave your child in that school...

Take your child out, get your complaint in writing, detailing all events. But, even if school actually offer some resolution, you may well want to consider other options for your child's education.

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Mammagaga · 08/03/2013 20:24

Yeah it just really annoys me that I first brought this to their attention 5 months ago and it has been allowed to escalate to this level :-/

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Mammagaga · 08/03/2013 20:26

Moving my child is not really an option at the moment as it would mean three separate school runs... Although I did actually obtain paperwork to join waiting lists on other schools in the area!

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diddlediddledumpling · 08/03/2013 20:33

Mammagaga, the "hardly surprising" comment was your own, ie hardly surprising that his own behaviour has deteriorated. I've no reason to say its hardly surprising that you're excusing his behaviour. Fair enough, you've clarified and given more information now; it did seem earlier that it might be reasonable to assume that your child was playing a part too. However, I've had experience of an anxious child wetting the bed and you know yourself when your child is properly worried about something. I'm sorry if I was flippant, that's not helping you at all.
Fwiw, if your child tells the teacher straight away when he's hurt instead of retaliating, I think there might be a better chance of the teacher seeing who the aggressor is here. I hope you get this sorted soon.

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YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue · 08/03/2013 20:33

Mamma gaga - if what you are saying is true, then you really must move him, three school runs or not.

Sometimes you just have to act yourself. The school may not be up to it.

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HairyHandedTrucker · 08/03/2013 20:37

I always got sent outside. never did me any harm. couldn't keep my mouth shut apparently...

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Mammagaga · 08/03/2013 20:55

Sorry diddledididdledidumpling lol finding it hard to keep up as I'm on the mobile thought your post was saying I was just making excuses for his behaviour! We tried the telling teacher part, but it's just not working, had resorted back to the telling teacher immediately like you said for the one day he was back after the last complaint and me keeping him off but it just feels like too little too late! I feel like they should do something to prevent it, not deal with it after it has occurred eespecially since the pinching of the privates part :-/

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jamdonut · 08/03/2013 21:14

You are describing a reception child as a bully..Depends if you think a 4-5 year old can actually be a bully. Is he just targeting your son, or does he do this to others? I am not condoning it,it just sounds like there are huge issues if a child of that age is behaving like this.
In the same way , you think it's not possible for a reception child to stand outside the classroom. Do you actually think that they send him out and forget about him??
And as for telling him to hit back....the difficulty there is that in schools we spend a huge amount of time and energy telling children that it is never alright to hit others,and that if someone hits you,you tell an adult straight away. It is so difficult to sort out the mess that ensues when a child says "But my mum and dad told me to hit back!". It spirals out of control.

However, It does sound as if the school are not dealing with your complaint very quickly, which is worrying.

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jamdonut · 08/03/2013 21:15

OOps. took me so long to type that out, you already more or less answered.

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ProudAS · 10/03/2013 16:11

This other child almost certainly has issues but your ds should not have to put up with this treatment.

I doubt whether he understands what he has done wrong especially if the other child is attacking him and getting away with it. That is bound to send mixed messages regarding right and wrong.

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digerd · 10/03/2013 16:47

Violent behaviour such as that, kicking, thumping his head, and infront of his dad too, warrants a letter by the teacher to the violent boy's parents. Why has this not been done?
Punishing the victim and letting the perpetrator off is all wrong.
I'm horrified OP. Didn't his dad report the incident to the head immediately?
Or at least tell the attacker off?

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Eastpoint · 10/03/2013 17:09

Doesn't the school have an anti-bullying policy in place? They should have one you can print off & then go and speak to them. Your child should be able to spend time at school in a safe environment without fear. As a matter of interest does the classroom door have a window in it? I hope your son has a better experience of school this week.

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Cherriesarelovely · 10/03/2013 17:37

This sounds a really horrible situation for you and your child OP. Nevermind the being sent into timeout for now the main issue is the constant bullying by the other child. How incredibly unfair that your child is being kept in at playtime when he is the one being attacked????!!! Kicking anyone in the privates even aged 4-5 or even once is a very serious thing indeed and this clearly hasn't been dealt with properly.

I think you are doing exactly the right thing in keeping your child at home until the school resolves this properly. Sorry, you are going through this it must be really upsetting.