AIBU to think that punishing a reception age child...

[Mammagaga]

AIBU to think that punishing a reception age child by sending them to stand in the corridor outside the classroom is inappropriate and irresponsible?

[HeadfirstForHalos]

"Socially excluded from his group", Umm, isn't that the point of time out?

When mine are put on time out at home it's not in the same room as the rest of us.

You say they should never be left unattended, will you be asking the school to make sure your child is accompanied to the toilet?

[MountainOrMolehill]

So is your dc and x 'friends' with a love / hate relationship where things get physical?

As for accompanying a dc all day I think is a ridiculous notion. Is your dc not in bed alone now? Doesn't play alone in the bedroom? They're in school, perfectly safe. But if you're not happy then by all means speak to the ht.

It does sound a little like you're being very one sided (understandably) about your dc and x though. Is it bullying iyo or are they friends? I think you need to get all sides of the story if possible and make a proper action plan.

[Smartiepants79]

I do understand what you are trying to say BUT if a child is disrupting the class then timeout IN the room is utterly pointless!

[WorraLiberty]

YABVU, I don't understand what you think is going to happen to the child while he's standing in a corridor?

[Mammagaga]

There's only one class per year group ;( it's not totally one sided since the school have taken the opinion that it is impossible to always keep them apart and been so flippant about him being hit, punched and kicked in between the legs - I have told him to do it back shock has now escalated to child X pinching my child in the privates... When he has successfully been separated from my child he has bitten other children and strangled them etc...

[diddlediddledumpling]

I don't mean to offend, but you're only hearing your child's version of events. The teacher is seeing both boys' behaviour. In addition, you're excusing the deterioration in your child's behaviour ("hardly surprising"). I think you need to accept that if your son is disruptive, the teacher is entitled and expected to deal with it.

[mumandboys123]

children generally get sent out because their behaviour is such that it is interfering with the learning of other children (in a negative way). They will usually be given several warnings and told what to do to improve things. Sending out is a last resort - particularly with such young children - so it would be reasonable to presume that your child was doing something he shouldn't have been and that he had been given prior warning of what would happen. I would suggest you would be unhappy if another child's behaviour was such that your child was unable to do what they were supposed to be doing? If you approach it with the teacher from this point of view, you may well have a sensible discussion which will help move things forward and prevent it happening again.

[HerRoyalNotness]

Wait, so your child is being attacked by another and it is your child being punished?? I wouldn't take that lying down, and if he is being sent to the corridor because he can't stay away from child x, I'm gobsmacked

[HeadfirstForHalos]

I feel you would be clouding the other issues if you complained about the time out happening in the corridor at the same time. It's nothing, reception aged children are old enough to be left unattended in a safe place for a few minutes unless there are other issues at play (like special needs).

[Smartiepants79]

Your issues with child X and the school aside, timeout in another room/corridor is very common practice.
The child is NOT at risk. Children will go around school alone for many different reasons, toilets, collecting the register etc...

[DameFanny]

You need to ask for their action plan on dealing with the bullying. If they're only going to victim-blame, you should be changing schools.

Have you seen their bullying policy?

[mymatemax]

dont have a problem with it myself & would always wait to hear both sides of the story before complaining.
Children of all ages are often selective with what they tell the parents

[YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue]

I would not be happy with a reception child (age 4 upwards) standing in corridor, beyond a minute or two. It is not something most schools do ime. It is socially isolating and can be scary for a young child.

This whole situation sounds very unsatisfactory tbh, if these physical things are happening then clearly the school need to stop it.

Have you written to governors?

Personally if my child was being hurt repeatedly and school didn't set out a clear plan to sort it starting immediately, I would move schools.

[YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue]

Time out in another room is fine.

[TheFallenNinja]

Having to stand over there rather than over here takes a fair stretch of the imagination to qualify as a punishment, minor admonishment at best would be a more accurate description.

If these two are truly hacking lumps out of each other then I'm sure that more rigorous punishments would be meted out to the guilty one.

For every kid standing outside a classroom door (and I was that kid) there's a class of kids getting their money's worth inside.

[livinginwonderland]

there's nothing wrong with time out in another room. it happened to me in the early nineties. no big deal.

your issue is with the other child's behaviour, which is fine, but don't cloud that with the issue of time out, which is not a problem.

[Ra88]

Mamma gaga -- I totally agree with you and I am surprised that I'm probably the only one that actually does think that it is not right leaving a reception age child in the corridor alone . My dd starts this year and if she were to be left unsupervised in the corridor then I would be having very serious words with that school ! I believe in punishment but there are other ways to punish a child .. Whilst being visible to the teacher !

[chandellina]

Wait - did you say you've told your child to retaliate? And you're then surprised he's on time out?

[YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue]

Standing in a corner is deemed humiliating full stop, whether in corridor or not. A good school would not do this. A table set up outside the room, in view of door, deemed the 'time out table' or similar, would be ok, but standing in a corner is not on. Not the sort of thing ofsted ever get to see in a 'behaviour management policy'!

[HeadfirstForHalos]

Ra88, it is common practice for reception aged children to be unsupervised in the corridors. They go to the toilet by themselves, they take turns to be the helper and collect the register and return it afterwards. School corridors are safe!

[cansu]

The issues between your ds and another child are completely separate to this issue. Yes t is pretty standard for a child to be sent out to think about their behaviour so the rest of the class can get on with task. He isn't at risk anymore than he is playing in your living room whilst you are in kitchen. I would be more concerned that your ds is mucking about in class rather than thinking of all the things you can it in your letter of complaint! If there is another issue with your child and another make an appointment to discuss it and be prepared to hear that there are two sides to the story and it may be that your ds isnt always making the right choices.

[Mammagaga]

My child behaved perfectly at school last year, and had no problems with his behaviour at all until recently, child X began bullying in Oct and I have complained on 4 occasions, the children sometimes play together but other child is extremely violent and my son comes home covered in bruises. Just before Xmas other child began punching/kicking etc my hold in between the legs, this was brought to the attention of the school during the first week back after Xmas. Since then my son's behaviour has deteriorated - at home he is crying that he soesnt want to go to school all the time etc and has generally become easily upse about small things. In the last week the other child has begun to pinch him in between the legs - my son's behaviour has become dramatically worse and he has started wetting the bed, so forgive me if it seems I am 'excusing his behaviour', however, it seems rather coincidently linked with the worsening of the bruises and lumps all over his head that he comes home with on a daily basis. So diddledididdledidumpling, it might seem "hardly surprising" to you that I seem to be excusing his behaviour but I'm sure if you were groped at work or sexually assaulted then it wouldn't affect your behaviour in any way??? And perhaps your story would be one sided as well???? SERIOUSLY!!!!! I have SEEN this hold walk up to mine for no reason and punch him in the head first thing in the morning.

So, it seems that it is totally reasonable to send a reception age child outside the classroom, I shall not include that in my complaint. Thank you for your advice!

[YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue]

Having a specific task e.g. Register is not the same as being left in the corridor. It is not common practice in good schools to,leave young pupils in this way.

[YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue]

If you are 100% in your assessment of the physical issues then I think you would be better to withdraw your child until the school puts a plan in place. Stop sending him in.

[HeadfirstForHalos]

Yes, but it makes no difference from a safety point of view. If they are unsupervised in a corridor, they are unsupervised in a corridor.