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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ban smoking in our house?

39 replies

wifeandmotherandlotsofother · 08/03/2013 14:57

AIBU to ban my 16.5 yr old daughter from smoking in our house? and to say I will bin any tobacco I find?

OP posts:
mistressploppy · 08/03/2013 14:58

YANBU. Your house

CloudsAndTrees · 08/03/2013 14:59

YANBU to ban smoking in your house. Binning her tobacco won't stop her smoking though, it will just make her get more creative about where to hide it.

ruledbyheart · 08/03/2013 14:59

Yanbu your house your rules, and at 16 it is illegal for her to be smoking anyway as the legal age is now 18.

Letticetheslug · 08/03/2013 15:00

No. My son smokes and he is not allowed to smoke indoors, no-one is , not even my 86 year old mum ( although I suspect she has a sneaky drag in the conservatory when she thinks I'm not home)

BabyRoger · 08/03/2013 15:01

YANBU, I would definitely not allow this. There is no smoking in my house by anyone.

Convert · 08/03/2013 15:03

YANBU and DH and I both smoke but no one smokes inside the house.

BreconBeBuggered · 08/03/2013 15:05

YANBU. Nobody smokes in my home, and if they have a sneaky fag in the porch or out the bedroom window I will know about it. And so will you. Good luck.

Teeb · 08/03/2013 15:08

yanbu.

Tell her when she gets a mortgage of her own then she can start smoking in her house, until then she can lump it.

Teeb · 08/03/2013 15:09

I'd also be having daily/regular room inspections if she is untrustworthy and continues illegal activity under your room.

caramelwaffle · 08/03/2013 15:09

Yanbu.

Polgara2 · 08/03/2013 15:14

Yanbu! There is no smoking in my house by anyone - ever.

Startail · 08/03/2013 15:15

YANBU and I'd cut any allowances she is paid.

My DDs know there is a zero tolerance policy to smoking (My DDad is in very poor health, in part, because he chain smoked)

morethanpotatoprints · 08/03/2013 15:18

Yanbu.

However, she is not doing any illegal. The legal age to smoke is 16. Stupidly though you need to be 18 to buy them. So if somebody buys them for he she is within the law.
Make sure she realises that its not because you are against her smoking but like your house smoke free. I wish I had done this with ds2 as I think he would have given up by now had I not made a fuss.

Maebe · 08/03/2013 15:20

Yanbu!

Your house, your rules.

Though as she can legally smoke (though I'd be questioning where she was buying it Grin) there might have to be a compromise that she can smoke in the garden away from the windows.

Lulabellarama · 08/03/2013 15:20

YANBU You are perfectly entitled to ban smoking in your home

However, all those people saying it's illegal, it's not. It's illegal to sell tobacco products to under 18's, not for them to use them

SPsFanjoTheBigStickyHaribo · 08/03/2013 15:21

I didn't think anyone still smoked in their houses anyway.

My mum doesn't even allow me to smoke in her garden Grin

livinginwonderland · 08/03/2013 15:21

yanbu. smoking is nasty. there's no smoking in our house or in either of our cars (i have my own and my parents share). if people want to smoke, they can sit in the garden.

hellsbellsmelons · 08/03/2013 15:23

I smoke but no-one is allowed to smoke in my house.
I go outside to smoke as do all my friends.
If she is using your money to buy tobacco then I would stop any allowance.
When she has her own place, she can smoke indoors but until then - no way!

HillBilly76 · 08/03/2013 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Letticetheslug · 08/03/2013 15:42

Fags are over £7 a packet

really!!!!

I had no idea they were that much..Shock

phoenixrose314 · 08/03/2013 15:44

YANBU at all, don't worry.

It is your house, she is living there as your child and although you can't stop her smoking, you CAN dictate where/when she does it because frankly you're the one paying the rent/mortgage.

Might also be worth mentioning to her that you send smoker friends/family outside all the time and she is no exception - also, make her aware of the dangers of smoking in the house and why you're really not happy with it.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 08/03/2013 15:46

YANBU.

For one she is breaking the law.

Original poster
wifeandmotherandlotsofother · 08/03/2013 15:54

Thank you everyone for your responses. I have read differing reports on the lagality of it, ie illegal to buy if under 18 but ok to possess and have read that since Feb of this year the legal age is 18
I guess what I was really thinking about was my throwing away any tobacco I found, I don't have any friends and family that do smoke so haven't had to ask anyone ever to smoke outside. She does have a part time job so I guess that's how she funds it (uses rolling tobacco) although she does get pocket money and mobile phone paid courtesy of parents, maybe we should rethink that

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 08/03/2013 16:02

I would tell her that if she can afford tobacco then she can afford to pay for her mobile.

CockyFox · 08/03/2013 16:23

YANBU
I ask my in laws to smoke outside and would have no problem asking the same of any of the DCs when they are older.

I am sure you have thought of this but are you sure it is just tobacco she is smoking because the only time I have known teenagers to smoke rolling tobacco is when they are mixing it with something else. That said I don't live in a very nice area and that sort of thing is very common.

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