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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So I'm prepared to get my face kicked off...how do I get rid of DM on Mother's DaY?

41 replies

Corygal · 08/03/2013 13:37

I'm skint. No job paying at the mo. In the past month I have bought 2 godchildren bday presents and both my elderly parents expensive birthday presents, had them over for pricy lunch, etc.

Easter, when the gift bonanza begins again, is in under 2 weeks.

For Xmas and my birthday this year, I got nothing to unwrap. (Except a fine Jaeger silk shirt from Lalalonglegs).

Mother's Day is on Sunday. I just don't want to entertain my Mum. Neither parent has helped financially at all during this very rough patch - they did help my brother considerably when he was stuck.

I am sick to the back teeth of losing every penny I have on other people. How do I get out of it - kindly?

OP posts:
MountainOrMolehill · 08/03/2013 13:38

Just explain you have no cash. Get a card for her.

Original poster
Corygal · 08/03/2013 13:39

That may result in sulking... she will expect a roast lunch, all the papers and a new DVD to watch while being waited on hand and foot.

OP posts:
Hassled · 08/03/2013 13:40

Say "Mum, I'm sorry but I'm just too skint to have you over this year. How about going to DB's on Sunday?".

Just tell her - doesn't have to be some big complicated deal. You can't afford it and so she can't come - that's all there is to it.

Hassled · 08/03/2013 13:41

Well she can sulk alway in her own home then, can't she? You won't have to see it.

Stropzilla · 08/03/2013 13:41

Let her sulk. If she's not there for you when you need her (emotionally is essential, financial if she's helping your brother -fairs fair) then why pander to her?

FunnysInLaJardin · 08/03/2013 13:41

are you not a mum too Cory?

Original poster
Corygal · 08/03/2013 13:41

DB is in Holland, the traitor. He lives there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Corygal · 08/03/2013 13:41

No. I am carer and petcare assistant to Mr Cory, a pampered tabby.

OP posts:
Stropzilla · 08/03/2013 13:42

If you can't bear to tell her the truth, just be ill (D&V ought to do it) or have a friend in hospital you need to go see.

Vijac · 08/03/2013 13:43

Just say that your partner (if you have one), is insisting on you having a relaxing Mother's Day and pampering you and would she mind not doing the usual for once. Maybe she can see your bro.

MountainOrMolehill · 08/03/2013 13:43

If you can't afford it then you can't afford it.

If your dc have to go without or a bill has to go unpaid to keep mum sweet then I don't think she deserves it tbh.

Get er a card, explain you have no spare cash. Maybe do a little lunch-soup and crusty bread, a little walk somewhere together? Or do something when you have a little money.

Those who mind, don't matter.
Those who matter, don't mind.

Original poster
Corygal · 08/03/2013 13:43

Fine idea Stropzilla - I'll see how Lalalonglegs is feeling Grin

OP posts:
HecateWhoopass · 08/03/2013 13:44

Either tell her that you just can't afford it.

Or take the coward's way out and come down with terrible d&v on saturday.

Be graphic. Grin

FunnysInLaJardin · 08/03/2013 13:46

tell your mum that Mr Cory is taking you out to a fancy restaurant as you are his mother and so very sorry but you won't be around. Seriously though if you don't want to have her over then don't. Just say you are doing something else

DontmindifIdo · 08/03/2013 13:46

D&V is an excellent suggestion. Post her card. Done. (but post on Monday, otherwise it'll look from the post mark that you pre-planned being ill.)

BabsAndTheRu · 08/03/2013 13:48

Anytime I am low on funds I bake for DM and DMIL, get the kids to make cards and take it to them. This avoids having to cook expensive meal and they are none the wiser of my stingy ways, happy all round.

Inertia · 08/03/2013 13:48

Just get her a card and explain that you're skint. Or make her something- then you can be justifiably upset if she is not fully appreciative of your efforts.

Sugarice · 08/03/2013 13:48

I tell my teen ds's not to bother with the fuss on Sunday, I mean that, it's a load of commercial rubbish, only my opinion of course.

I have a cool relationship with my own Mother and never buy her a card or present due to issues I have with her own performance as a Parent when we were growing up.

OP tell her you can't afford it, if she's throws a hissy fit , let her get on with it!

Iaintdunnuffink · 08/03/2013 13:49

Send a card, call her up and say sorry you couldn't afford flowers but you're thinking of her.

Easter only has to be an egg for your own children.

googietheegg · 08/03/2013 13:52

People should get out what they put in.

Let her sulk.

UnrequitedSkink · 08/03/2013 13:55

OR you could go down the guilt trip/emotional blackmail route? Call her, tell her what a wonderful mum she is and how you wish you could show her what she means to you...and you're gutted but you are in such dire financial straits that a card is all you can stretch to this year. But you are sure she'll understand how much you love her, and once you are back on your feet again (and who knows when that will be?) you'll make it up to her. If you can do this with a bit of a catch in your voice, as though you're hovering on the brink of tears, so much the better.

Fingers crossed she'll realise she's being terribly selfish.

Smellslikecatspee · 08/03/2013 13:55

Norovirus is your friend, everyone must know what it is by now and you couldn't possibly risk her health by sending anything from your germ infested home.

YouTheCat · 08/03/2013 13:55

Let her have her sulk. Tell her you have no money and you think you have flu, that should keep her from darkening your door.

Nanny0gg · 08/03/2013 13:58

Question: "are you not a mum too Cory? "
Answer: "No. I am carer and petcare assistant to Mr Cory, a pampered tabby. "

If you can't read the whole thread, at least read the OP's posts please.

And you have no money OP? A card will suffice.

mollymole · 08/03/2013 14:06

Just tell her that you have no money and send her a nice card. If she comes to see you why have a 'fancy lunch' just give her whatever you usually have.