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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that it is a general rule to offer a pregnant woman a seat/space in an elevator.

50 replies

Poppet48 · 08/03/2013 10:52

Went to hospital for a consultant appointment I am 19 weeks pregnant.

Parked in the multi-storey car park 7 floors up to find out that only one elevator was working, I waited 20 minutes for a space in the lift but every time it came down to collect people (Happened 4 times) it was full so after a long wait and worrying about missing my appointment I had to walk down the ramp where the cars drive with my DS in his buggy, AIBU to think that if you are fit and well you get out of the lift to take the stairs so the people who need it can use it? There was also a woman in a wheelchair who did not get a space and had to do the same thing.

Also, standing for my appointment as the waiting room was full with woman and partners AIBU to expect one of the partners to offer a seat?

Prepared to be told IABU, I am particularly hormonal today

OP posts:

MidniteScribbler · 08/03/2013 10:56

Did you want people who were already in the lift to get out for you?

ZZZenAgain · 08/03/2013 10:57

I don't know about the lift so much but I would have offered you a seat in the waiting room

beachyhead · 08/03/2013 10:57

I always offer a seat, but I've never come across the lift thing before. As a pregnant woman would have to stand anyway in the lift, not sure if being pregnant allows you to jump a lift queue....

But giving you a seat, yes, as it allows you to take the weight off your feet.

EasilyBored · 08/03/2013 10:59

I'd offer you a seat if it was really obvious you were pregnant, but not sure about the lift thing to be honest. That's more an issue with the buggie, being pregnant doesn't make you unable to walk down a few flights of stairs.

Original poster

Poppet48 · 08/03/2013 10:59

I would have got out if a woman in a wheelchair and a pregnant woman with a pushchair were waiting and I was able to walk down the stairs.

The elevator went to collect the top floor first and then came down to our floor so it was highly unlikely that we were going to get a space just waiting.

OP posts:

HerbyVore · 08/03/2013 11:00

I think you might be a little hormonal unreasonable - 19 weeks is hardly 'heavy with child'.

But you are allowed a bit of being miffed at other people's actions.

cantspel · 08/03/2013 11:02

Didn't know a health pregnant woman was not allowed to walk downstairs.

No wonder bungalows are so in demand.

MTSgroupie · 08/03/2013 11:04

Whenever seats are involved I would give up my seat to pregnant women, old people and disabled people so YANBU.

If I am waiting for a lift I would let any of the above take my place. However, if I was already in, it wouldn't occur to me to step off for you.

Original poster

Poppet48 · 08/03/2013 11:04

There was no way I could have walked down 7 flights of stairs with my DS in his pushchair.

My bump is very big for 19 weeks and it is blatantly obvious I am pregnant.

I am probably being hormonal Thank you for the replies.

OP posts:

HerbyVore · 08/03/2013 11:05

I didn't know it was compulsory to be snippy and facetious on AIBU.

livinginwonderland · 08/03/2013 11:05

if you were just pregnant, i would have said yabu, but with a buggy too, it's obvious that you need to use the elevator, so yanbu on that front.

NinaHeart · 08/03/2013 11:06

I'd agree with the majority - a flight of stairs really shouldn't be a problem.

(At 19 weeks pg with my 3rd, I was running competitively in 10K races, so perhaps I am a little less than sympathetic!)

MidniteScribbler · 08/03/2013 11:06

Particularly being that it was a hospital carpark, I wouldn't be too quick to judge the physical abilities of someone and determining who was more capable of taking stairs or walking down a ramp.

Eebahgum · 08/03/2013 11:08

Is your bump really obvious? Don't think I started getting this kind of treatment until I was about 35 Weeks (and even then sometimes I had to stuck my bump out and/or cradle it to make it more obvious). I'd suspect at 19 Weeks people well be worried about suggesting you're pregnant in case they're wrong!

Sirzy · 08/03/2013 11:08

Have you considered that a car park at a hopsital could contain other people with problems which mean they can't walk down 7 flights of stairs?

HerbyVore · 08/03/2013 11:09

I agree that 7 flights of stairs with a buggy whilst not impossible, would be a complete pain in the arse and would have probably taken longer than waiting for a spot in the lift.

But I wouldn't be miffed at the others in the lift.

Eebahgum · 08/03/2013 11:09

Whoops sorry - was clearly very slow typing and you've already said it's obvious.

ClutchingPearls · 08/03/2013 11:13

When stood in a lift I tend to drift off and not pay any attention. You would have to be actually giving birth before I noticed you.

I don't tend to look at the condition of people wanting to join a lift unless in a wheelchair etc. Pushchair I may have noticed normally but going to a hospital appointment, worrying, wondering what to ask, what this set of results might be etc, not a chance.

scaredbutexcited · 08/03/2013 11:16

Agree with most. You don't know about the health of others in the lift and in any case I don't think I would expect someone to actually get out of a lift for me if they were already in it. (I am 34 weeks).

I think it is reasonable to offer an obviously PG women a seat but maybe you still look so good they weren't sure.

CloudsAndTrees · 08/03/2013 11:17

I would allow someone pregnant or with a pushchair to have a space before me in a lift, but I wouldn't actually leave a lift if the doors opened and there was someone waiting. It just wouldn't occur to me to do that, and you can't expect people to know how long you were waiting.

At only 19/20 weeks pregnant, YABU to bring that into it. That is far too early for people to be sure you aren't just fat, and you won't be extra exhausted from carrying a 19 week bump around.

MadStaringEyes · 08/03/2013 11:18

With the lift I think YABU. Its a hospital, the people in that lift could have needed it too.

With the seat thing, YANBU, it would have been nice to be offered. I'm at 35+weeks people would have offered.

elliejjtiny · 08/03/2013 11:19

I think it's polite when seats/spaces in lifts are limited then healthy able bodied people should stand/use the stairs. However in a hospital, there are probably a lot of people who can't manage 7 flights of stairs.

Panzee · 08/03/2013 11:20

i was 41 weeks pregnant in a hospital waiting room, standing room only. Two people offered me a seat (both women, is that relevant?). Nobody who was just accompanying a patient offered.

So I wouldn't expect things to improve as your pregnancy progresses, I'm afraid.
I declined, by the way. :o

fragola · 08/03/2013 11:21

Can't believe that people here think it's reasonable to take a buggy down 7 flights of stairs when 19 weeks pregnant. Fuck me.

Sirzy · 08/03/2013 11:22

I don't think that is reasonable, but I don't think it's reasonable to ask others to get out of the lift either.

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