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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that it is a general rule to offer a pregnant woman a seat/space in an elevator.

50 replies

Poppet48 · 08/03/2013 10:52

Went to hospital for a consultant appointment I am 19 weeks pregnant.

Parked in the multi-storey car park 7 floors up to find out that only one elevator was working, I waited 20 minutes for a space in the lift but every time it came down to collect people (Happened 4 times) it was full so after a long wait and worrying about missing my appointment I had to walk down the ramp where the cars drive with my DS in his buggy, AIBU to think that if you are fit and well you get out of the lift to take the stairs so the people who need it can use it? There was also a woman in a wheelchair who did not get a space and had to do the same thing.

Also, standing for my appointment as the waiting room was full with woman and partners AIBU to expect one of the partners to offer a seat?

Prepared to be told IABU, I am particularly hormonal today

OP posts:

MidniteScribbler · 08/03/2013 11:26

Can't believe that people here think it's reasonable to take a buggy down 7 flights of stairs when 19 weeks pregnant.

She didn't, she walked down the ramps.

EuroShaggleton · 08/03/2013 11:26

That's rubbish, but I think the solution was to catch the lift on the way up and do a loop. I don't think you can expect people to get out for you, but it would be reasonable to expect someone waiting on the same floor as you to offer you the chance to get in if there wasn't room for you both.

In the waiting room, the partners should get off their lazy @rses.

fragola · 08/03/2013 11:27

I was responding to people saying that the stairs were doable.

cantspel · 08/03/2013 11:27

The op used the ramp so there was clearly an alternative to bumping the pushchair down the stairs.

I would not get out a lift for a pregnant woman with or without a buggie. I would offer my space to a wheelchair user.

midastouch · 08/03/2013 11:31

I agree with giving up seats sadly people generally dont though on a train 37 weeks pregnant i stood for 40 minutes Perhaps not the lift, a pregnnannt woman is no more in need of one, what does annoy me is when you cant get in a lift because people who are capable of using esculators fill it up.

ExpatWifey · 08/03/2013 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nagoo · 08/03/2013 11:31

Do a loop in the lift! Genius! that's outside the box thinking right there :o

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 08/03/2013 11:36

Unfortunately there are too many people who think just of themselves and aren't prepared to help others. I was 8 months pregnant on a bus once and not one person offered me a seat so I had to stand for the whole journey.

I would have offered my seat and got out of the lift for you.

ComposHat · 08/03/2013 11:49

YABU for using the word elevator it is a LIFT.

tallulah · 08/03/2013 11:55

If it was a hospital car park then YABU to assume everyone else was fit and well. After the first time I'd have taken the lift the wrong way to make sure I got in.

The seat thing happens. It's annoying but you either ask for a seat or put up with it. I've become very well acquainted with hospital waiting rooms having had cancer and people are so caught up in themselves it doesn't seem to occur to them.

My last appt I sat on the only empty seat to be told it was her husbands, by the woman on the next seat. I don't know which was the patient but clearly it wasn't both of them. Had someone done that a year ago when I was still having chemo I'd have decked her. This time I just stood until someone moved.

MumofWombat · 08/03/2013 11:58

At the maternity hospital I'm using there are signs in all the waiting areas stating that priority must be given to women and that support persons must be willing to give up their seats if the waiting area is busy.
But tbh, you don't get referred there unless there are issues so hopefully most of the support people would be willing to give up their comfy seat!

Pickles101 · 08/03/2013 11:58

YABU. You were fine. You just wanted some special treatment because you are up the duff - I think this is especially mean of you to want this given that it was a hospital carpark. Had it really been a problem, you would have asked for a space in the lift, surely? Or still be stuck there now.

Jealous because I discovered my pregnancy too late to receive special bump induced treatment

Katienana · 08/03/2013 12:11

People In the lift won't have realised. Could you have called the lift to go up, ridden it to the top and stayed in? I find annoying how many people hog lifts when they can use the escalator.

Original poster

Poppet48 · 08/03/2013 16:00

I would have got in the lift regardless of the direction it was going but it was completely full.

I specifically said people who are fit and well should get the stairs, I didn't say that everyone in the lift shouldn't have been in there.

The ramp was not a pathway, It is where the cars go to get to the next level so pretty dangerous for a wheelchair user and to push a pushchair down as no one would have seen me until the last minute.

As I said I would have got out of the lift in those circumstances and offered a seat but everyone is different .

I accept that IABU and hormonal so thanks for the replies.

OP posts:

manicinsomniac · 08/03/2013 16:24

YANBU if there were any healthy people in there but, tbh, I would imagine that anyone who can be arsed waiting around for a lift needs to be in one.

Plus it was a hospital carpark so there wouldn be loads of ill/injured people.

cakebar · 08/03/2013 16:40

I have been in this situation (at a tourist attraction). I rammed my pushchair in the door when it opened and asked if anyone would be willing to get out because there was a person using a wheelchair waiting and it was impossible to get a space when on that floor. After quite a long time of everyone looking at the floor a couple of people got out. I got my husband to carry our pushchair up the stairs. I can be quite bolshy when in the right mood.

At a hospital it is probably different but some people are selfish and lazy, I just think that they are the losers because they are missing out on the exercise of the stairs. Having said that, I don't think you should assume that at 19 weeks people will spot you are pregnant.

kinkyfuckery · 08/03/2013 16:53

Yes, I would like to think that people would give up a space/squash to allow you in. Yes, at 19 weeks pregnant it's not advisable to take the stairs, but unless there's more drip feeding to come, you are just as capable as a non-pregnant person without a buggy at waiting for the next available space.

Pixel · 08/03/2013 17:22

You would have to be actually giving birth before I noticed you.

I laughed at this because I was actually in labour when some people shut the lift door in my face and I had to wait (was standing there with my bag doing careful breathing and maternity was on 14th floor). It was quite funny though even at the time because they were all nuns and one of them was clutching a bunch of flowers as if her life depended on it. I just have this snapshot image forever in my brain .

Purple2012 · 08/03/2013 19:24

I wouldn't get out of a lift for a pregnant woman, especially not early in pregnancy. I would however offer my seat in a waiting room or bus.

I would get out of a lift for a person in a wheelchair or someone elderly.

clam · 08/03/2013 19:43

I'm on crutches at the moment and I waited for a lift yesterday that was full of perfectly mobile students.
I'm seeing the world through new eyes at the moment, I can tell you!

BabyRoger · 08/03/2013 19:48

I suppose the people in the lift might not know how long you had been waiting. I'm not sure you get priority at 19 weeks pregnant- I would give priority a lot further on.

I would give priority as you had a buggy and you can't easily manage down loads of flights of stairs holding onto a folded buggy and a toddler.

YADNBU re the waiting room. The amount of fathers/partners who would just stay sitting in the hospital obstetrics waiting room whilst heavily pregnant women stood amazed me every time.

Ihavetopushthepramalot · 08/03/2013 19:59

I would have let you have my place/seat if I could see you were struggling and I was able to walk/stand. But I don't think it's unreasonable for other people to have not noticed.
Like previous posters have said you don't know if anyone in those lifts were able to use the stairs, realised you had been waiting so long.
With regards to the seat I think if you asked alot of people would have been happy to stand for you. I know you shouldn't have to but sometimes it's not obvious to people that you need a seat.
I always declind any offers throughout my pregnancy as I knew if I sat down it would take me forever to get back up again .
Can understand being annoyed though.

milf90 · 08/03/2013 20:03

you are only 19 weeks, so for that yes YABU, but for the buggy and the stairs then not so much...

AndFanjoWasHisNameO · 08/03/2013 21:06

I think you've clouded the issue with the pregnancy red herring the main point was the fact that you had the buggy and therefore were pretty stuck because of that. It is unreasonable for all those expecting you to walk down the no pedestrian ramps in the car park too.
If I had known you'd been waiting-I'd have got out of the lift but I probably wouldn't have realised.
What REALLY pisses me off are the able bodied people who use the lift in stores where there are escalators...however I never realised how irritating this was until I had buggies or went into town with a friend that uses a wheelchair and probably did it myself back in the day

Redbindy · 08/03/2013 21:11

"What REALLY pisses me off are the able bodied people who use the lift in stores"
I agree, all lifts in shops should say "Disabled Only".

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