Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to feel worried

47 replies

missmarplestmarymead · 07/03/2013 19:46

We used to have quite a bit of cash which for one reason or another we don't have anymore. We are trying to sell our mortgage free house for oiro 550,000, so that we can buy one for about 300,000 and keep the rest. We have a net income of 1,800, reserve of £12,000.Once all bills, except food have been paid, we have disposable income of about £750 a mth. No children.

I am waking up in a cold sweat many nights worrying that we will never sell the house and worrying if something goes wrong and we can't pay for replacement. I am constantly moaning to my dh about these worries and I can see that it is getting him down but I just can't help myself. I want to stop feeling so wretched but it is on my mind all the time even when I'm pretending it isn't.

OP posts:

MaryRobinson · 07/03/2013 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino · 07/03/2013 19:49

Could you rent it out and move to a one bed flat?

Original poster

missmarplestmarymead · 07/03/2013 19:50

No. I'm 54

OP posts:

IneedAgoldenNickname · 07/03/2013 19:50

Do you suffer with anxiety?

Original poster

missmarplestmarymead · 07/03/2013 19:51

It seems that it might be as difficult to rent it out as sell and i would much prefer to sell and put it all behind me.

OP posts:

Portofino · 07/03/2013 19:52

What could go wrong?

MaryRobinson · 07/03/2013 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Portofino · 07/03/2013 19:53

You have no mortgage and won't starve. Plenty in far worse situations. What brings you to Mumsnet?

Original poster

missmarplestmarymead · 07/03/2013 19:53

I am becoming the sort of person that suffers with anxiety. Sometimes I try to get a grip and tell myself that it could be a lot worse and that works for a little while but then it bubbles up again.

OP posts:

SolomanDaisy · 07/03/2013 19:54

What is the focus of your worries? Is it that your income is a lot less than it used to be?

ceramicunicorn · 07/03/2013 19:54

Realistically I can't see how you're worrying about money. It sounds more like you have anxiety issues. Have you seen a doctor/ spoken to your dp about this at all?

Original poster

missmarplestmarymead · 07/03/2013 19:56

I've come to Mumsnet because i wanted to write it down and have other opinions other than my husband saying, it will all pass because it might not pass for a long time. Thank you to everyone who has replied. It felt good to get it down on paper and out of my head.

OP posts:

Original poster

missmarplestmarymead · 07/03/2013 19:59

I think the focus is that i worry about what will happen if stuff needs to be replaced and yes, probably that it is difficullt to get used to having less. I can't say that bit to my dh, as I pretend that that bit doesn't worry me.

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 07/03/2013 19:59

I am another one who cant see how you are so worried with the numbers you have quoted. Being worried about having a half million pound asset that might take a while to sell whilst also having a good income and decent disposable income is not in the same league as not being able to pay the electric bill as well as eat.

MrsCR · 07/03/2013 19:59

The numbers make sense. You will be in the black on a monthly basis. It wont be what you're used to but equally not on the street either.

has the reason for the money loss stopped? Or could it happen again?

You need to write it all down and explore the source of your anxiety before you'll feel more in control of the situation again

Don't worry 'at' DH, talk to him. Be a team. Do you still trust him, with money I mean?

Talk to someone, anyone. But on paper, you'll be fine.

Bogeyface · 07/03/2013 20:01

And did I read right that you have £12,000 in savings too? I think you really need to readjust your outlook on money.

Bogeyface · 07/03/2013 20:01

Why dont you have the large amount of money anymore?

IneedAgoldenNickname · 07/03/2013 20:04

You really have no reason to worry about money. Your disposable income is more than I have before bills.

I think you should go and see your gp about the anxiety before it gets worse. :)

SolomanDaisy · 07/03/2013 20:08

I think a big reduction in income would worry most people. Your income is adequate, so what you need to focus on is accepting the change to your life.

Original poster

missmarplestmarymead · 07/03/2013 20:08

It couldn't happen again once we've sold this house but you have made me think that maybe I have lost confidence in him, although there was nothing he could have done. The savings have to supplement our income-things like paying car tax and incidentals and they may run out before the house goes.

I know that it sounds pathetic but right now I am feeling pretty pathetic and wish i could snap out of it. could go for two hours without thinking about money.

OP posts:

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 07/03/2013 20:09

It's always stressful selling property and lots of people want to downsize. It is quite liberating cutting back, seeing what you can dispose of. Was this move an idea both of you had or do you feel railroaded? I am sure you have looked into local agents and assessed how the market is. You may find things move very fast, or you may not get a sale as quickly as you'd hope but don't be discouraged. Try and feel positive, why should your home not sell? You have a cushion in case anything unexpected happens, if you have insurance there is that safety net too.

MN is open to all you don't need children to be able to post here. In the Topics list there is another section called Homes and Gardens, the Property/DIY topic is full of people renting and buying and selling, lots of shared experiences.

Original poster

missmarplestmarymead · 07/03/2013 20:10

Thank you. maybe I should go to the doctor as it has been said more than once and i think I will try to. Thank you all. as been a relief to share it with people who have no agenda in their comments. Thank you.

OP posts:

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 07/03/2013 20:14

Moving house has always been quoted as one of the top 5 major stresses along with bereavement and divorce.

if you are worrying about this and not sleeping properly it will only snowball. Good idea to have a chat with your GP.

Pigsmummy · 07/03/2013 20:16

If your house isn't selling quickly your bank can release equity or you can mortgage a small amount but you have savings and the market is generally good, except first time buyers but your property is unlikely to attract that kind of buyer? Take a deep breath and try to relax.

I was in a similar position I worked out a timeline for when I needed to sell by, can you do similar? i.e. We have £xx, our monthly outgoings are £xx, so we have x months of money etc etc. In my case I sold well within that timeline and I hope that you do too, very best wishes to you.

Lucyellensmum95 · 07/03/2013 20:21

I suffer from anxiety, big time - i have just quit my job because of it (if you are interested you can look up my thread) We live in a shitty little terrace and can't really afford the mortgage - my do is self employed and his work is drying up. I just paid the mortage and have no money left, DP should hopefully get paid this weekend but it wont be much. Im not sure we will be able to pay the mortgage on our house that is worth about a firth of yours?

Would you care to swap worries?

Seriously, if you are worrying yourself sick over this issue - do what i am going to do in the morning - go and see your doctor.

Flip

1 2