to be welling up at Vanessa Phelps on Radio Two?

[showtunesgirl]

She's doing a segment about when you know your children are now grown up. A report has said that childhood now ends at 12.

Callers shared their opinions and then they read a poem and played ABBA's Slipping Through My Fingers.

ah, so Phelps is a bit of a twat then. Thought as much have never actually allowed her space in my brain

I love "I wouldn't piss in your ear if your brain was on fire"

Am now on Youtube, THAT song is on and I may be a bit teary.

Hormones though, 35 weeks upduffed. lies. I would cry if I weren't hormonal

I have googled her and seems that she's like that with everyone. It's very unlikely I'll ever meet her limited but if I do I shall glare at her, just for you!

She was fine in all the times I've had dealings with her, but then again I would'nt piss on Lenny Henry, Eddie Izzard, Lorraine Kelly to name a few, if they were on fire after having worked with them. Others opinions may vary....

The brain comment was from my friend who's always good for that kind of thing brian. And thanks bubblegum though I'd prefer a kick in the shin if you could manage it.

LayMizzRarb I found Lorraine Kelly all right but I sensed she wouldn't care if I got run over on the way out. Eddie Izzard liked my dress but said it was a bit busy for him. I think he was really thinking: 'Why the fuck are you asking me?' but he was okay.

Phelps was really rude to my friend who spoke to her when she lost loads of weight then put a bit back on. The thing was supposed to be about fitness but she was vile when my friend asked completely normal questions (for that kind of boring feature) about the difficulty of maintaining motivation - snore. Phelps took it as a personal insult because her mind is er, different from most people's.

There's also this tale of woe I'm not going to apologise for the Daily Mail link because that paper and Phelps were made for each other.

I love to slag off Phelps. It's cheaper than therapy. She's in my top three All Time Foulest Slebs I've Ever Been Unlucky Enough To Meet with Ulrika Jonsson and Denise Van Cunten. (European Division)

And breathe

I've met her and she was quite charming, polite and entertaining. I would piss in her ear if her brain was on fire.

limited - are you Kate Garraway????

Would you do it if she wasn't on fire though, sue?

@ Imperial!

No, not Vanessa and anyway I'm too polite. There are plenty of others I would consider letting my dog have a quick waz on though.

I think Sue is Phelps's daughter Saskia.

I spent a very long time trying to persuade, all right, wheedling with promises of a big cheque, Phelps's ex-husband Michael Kurer to talk about the car crash that was their marriage.

He always politely but firmly refused. Curses. Actually, I think he was extremely dignified and had the welfare of their daughters uppermost in his mind despite some of the most extreme provocation from Phelps in the papers.

I noticed that Phelps suddenly stopped spilling her guts about what a horrid bastard he was. I wonder if he and his solicitor brought her to her senses.

I'm afraid I'm still roffling at Phelps.

Not really sue52

What I can't stand about VF is the way she tries to manipulate callers on her LBC radio show when they don't agree with her point of view. She was totally rotten to a poor woman whose English wasn't perfect and chose to misinterpret everything she said. One caller wasn't having any of it when VF tried to get her to see things her way so VF cut her off mid sentence.

I switch her off immediately btw - she has the most annoying voice in broadcasting.

Bubbling under my top three is Kimberley Walsh. Easily the worst component of Girls Aloud and that's with taking Sarah Harding into consideration.

Limited, spill the beans on why the others are horrible. I'm intrigued now!

Weren't there only three of them in Girls Aloud?

Phelps is vile. Was once at a charity awards ceremony recognising the efforts of ordinary people. Vanessa was one of the celeb guests.

At the end of the evening, some slightly tipsy teachers, who had been nominated for an award, cornered her in the coat queue. They were clearly excited about chatting to a sleb and one of them kept touching her arm.

Vanessa was getting more and more pissed off until she eventually bellowed, 'Will you stop touching me!!??!'

Bizzare.

Ooh do tell about Kimberley, Limited. I love GA

I don't care for Feltz but the poem followed by slipping thru my fingers by abba just ruined me.

The poem for anyone who wondered
The Last Time
Friday, October 15th, 2010

The father, reading to his girl
some little tale they always read
is unaware that this may be
the last one that she?ll ever need;
she?s grown past stories softly read
by daddy sitting on the bed.

The mother with her muddy son,
kicking a football in the park,
cannot sense as they wander home
through chilly, soft-approaching dark;
this was the last time they?d come out
to kick that happy ball about.

How secret, sneaky-soft they come:
those last times when we?ll kiss it better,
hold their hand across the road
or lift them up to post a letter.
They pass unmarked, un-noticed; for
we?re not so needed any more.

So they abandon fairy tales,
and nursery rhymes that mummy sings
and leave behind soft toys ? and us -
and put away their childish things;
a loss so small. Our loss the greater,
unmissed, un-mourned, until years later.

© Lucy Berry

I don't have much time for VF but did like the piece she did today which I heard on my way home from work. It was all about how quickly children grow up and apparently something called Nethuns thinks childhood ends at 12. I think the guests all blew that theory out of the water.

The poem was lovely, it was saying how we never know something is the last time we will do that with our children at the time we're doing it as they grow up IYSWIM. Like you read a story to your child and don't realise that they may never want it again, we pass little milestones all the time without realising. It was very poignant.

Love the piss in the ear phrase, I am so going to use that!

Many of my pals at school were having relationships with sex etc at the age of 12. Lots looked after younger siblings and had lots of responisibilities at that age. Perhaps in inner city areas more children are forced to grow up quicker.

First met Girls Aloud at a charity bash my magazine was co-sponsoring.

It's not the worst job in the world compared to picking through stinking garbage in the slums of Mumbai. But asking vacuous, greedy microstars on a networking lunch for their opinions on underprivileged children is possibly the First World equivalent.

oh onthemetro I think Kimberley's problem is that she's the last person people are interested in and she doesn't like it.

At the time I was interested in Cheryl, Sarah, Nadine, the red-haired one and then Kimberley, whose name I couldn't remember either. I think that's how most people would be. It's not personal. It's just the way it is.

To her credit the red-haired one realised she wasn't the biggest draw and was okay. Cheryl was okay but in the way that she only had to be slightly nicer than the others to shine.

Sarah was hungover and rude. Nadine was pretending to have lost her voice so couldn't speak to me. No big loss. She seemed stupid.

I asked a question of Sarah and Kimberley feigned a hand-over-mouth yawn and said 'next'. WTF?