to think the correct response to this is 'sorry'?

[freddiefrog]

Our school is putting on a big production on Saturday, and I, along with a couple of other parents, have been volunteering to build scenery and props and making costumes.

Last week, the teacher who is organising it, made a major fuck up which resulted in half of the scenery we'd spent weeks making being destroyed.

The teacher in question is now lying about the circumstances of the fuck up, that any of it was her fault and blaming us (despite the head and 3 other mums witnessing it).

She's just phoned me and given me a massive bollocking over it and demanded that I go up to school 'now' to sort it out as she needs the scenery to rehearse with

She's stressed, the fuck up was as a result of her trying to do too many things at once, and I totally understand how it happened but I am completely pissed off with the rudeness of it and gutted that all our hard work has to be redone Is it just me who thinks you really don't treat the few people who are helping you so disgustingly?

We've started to rectify it, and it will be done in time for the performance, but we can't drop everything to go up there now so she'll just have to improvise (or use the scenery as it is until we can repaint it)

I'm inches away from telling her to fuck off and do it herself. She's been a nightmare with decision making and changing her mind the whole way through, so I'm sick of the whole thing anyway. My kids are taking part and enjoying it, so I'll help sort it out and make sure it's finished, but honestly, I am so angry and need a rant.

It's the last time I get involved with it

Burst into tears, that old faithful!

Good that you got an apology out of her.

Will you help again in the future after this?

I just knew there would be tears. When all else fails, turn on the taps and make everyone feel guilty for your fuck up. How utterly pathetic.

A simple "Look, I have really fucked up I am so sorry, could you possible help me re-paint everything?" and that would have been that. She is the one that made a total drama out of it and I have no sympathy at all!

Yes, definately. She's going to make herself ill over a school production.

In answer to some of the previous posts.

The boards are pretty big 2m high by 1.5m ish wide sheets of ply that slot into wheely bases, so you would think that by the time she got to the bottom of the first sheet, she'd notice it wasn't drying clear, certainly by the end of the 2nd. But she went on and did 6 in the end. I think it had been diluted as it was more of a wash than a thick coat of paint, but it was enough to obscure the scenery underneath if you see what I mean

But what's done is done, we've re-done 4 of the 6, and we're spending the day up there tomorrow, so it'll be finished, whether it'll all get varnished or not is a different story. It's a bit easier re-doing it than doing it from scratch, we can see enough of the previous painting through the white so we can use it as a guide.

A simple "Look, I have really fucked up I am so sorry, could you possible help me re-paint everything?" and that would have been that. She is the one that made a total drama out of it and I have no sympathy at all!

Yes, definately.

We hadn't made a drama out of it. Bit of an 'oh my god, what the heck happened' moment when we first found it last week, but we'd already started rectifying it and had sorted out when and where we were going to be in this week to finish it and sort it out.

I volunteer a couple of times a week in the classrooms and I help out on the PTA, but I'm not doing anything like this again, unless DD2 takes part again next year - DD1 is year 6 so will have left.

My kids enjoy taking part in all this sort of stuff, so I do feel obligated to pitch in as its for their benefit

My guess is she didn't like the painting of the scenery so her plan was to paint it white to get back to a blank canvas and do it herself but then ran out of time/the paint took ages to dry/whatever. She then panicked and made up some mad tale. Even if the Head knows this I'm not sure you'll be told.

Maybe, but she chose the pictures we used

She found some pics on the Internet and in a couple of books, we photo copied it onto acetate then one of the more arty mums used the school projector to trace the images onto the ply, then we painted it as per the images we gave her.

Sorry, images we gave her should be images she gave us

No good deed goes unpunished. I just couldn't let that quote go by.

It's not Wizard of Oz they are doing is it? That would be ironic!

Yes the correct response is sorry and she's got it wrong. Twice.

However, you sound pretty dreadful yourself OP. what was you're response when you saw the first big F up? Was it, 'Oh no, what's happened?! Don't worry, I'm sure we can hel it it right ' or did your face tell a different story?
I bet she's mortified and embarrassed. Have you thought that she may not be well supported by others. She's defensive yes but have you been kind to her? You don't sound particularly kind on this thread.
She tried to help in her holiday and she's F'ed up. You know she's done it, she knows she's done it and maybe for whatever (unknown) reason, she can't cope with accepting responsibility. Too much stress maybe.
I feel sorry for her.

Your not you're

Oh, yes. I'm such a dreadful person

A small group of us have given up a fair amount of time to build and paint scenery and props and make costumes.

Maybe our faces did tell a story when we first saw the damage, but I'm sure most people would find it quite hard to keep their face carefully neutrally arranged when they first saw that someone had covered weeks of work with white paint

She called me today making demands, being unspeakably rude and lying about what happened and I'm unkind? Right

mrsLT are you ading the same thread as the rest of us?
Your reading is so completely different, very odd and a bit rude. I can't even begin to see where you are coming from.

Just tell her next time it would be much better to put your hands up and admit to the mistake instead of blaming others. Tell her how upsetting you have found it all but acknowledge her stress too.

MrsLT are you a relative of this teacher?

That's the only reason why you should possibly seek to defend her, she was an arse and we can only go on what freddie says in her OP.

mrslt are you the teacher that this thread is about? It's the only rational explanation for your reaction given the information the OP has given.

Why on earth should the OP have to be sweetness and light whilst taking verbal abuse and being blamed for this teacher's complete fuck up?

It doesn't sound like the OP has reacted badly at all, in fact I'm sure many of us would gave told this teacher where she could stick her scenery before now.

How stupid do you have to be to not be able to tell the difference between PVA and emulsion? The fact that this person is teaching the next generation s a whole other thread!

No, I am not the teacher in the thread! Nor related, but I'm looking at it from one perspective and it's not the OP's.

The OP has told her side of the story and based on that, she Is NBU to be annoyed but I'm sure that this teacher has her story too and I wonder how favourably she would talk about the OP?

I actually do think a bit of generosity towards this teacher would go a long way.
She knows she's f'ked up. Why do you think you got tears?
Have you never made a really stupid mistake OP? One where you thought afterwards 'I can't believe I've done that?'
Why do people cover things up? Sometimes they can't cope with the reactions from others. Why do people get angry when they are obviously the ones in the wrong? Sometimes they become defensive.

To add, I'd be b*dy annoyed too if I were you OP but it can be fixed.

Also, yes some people are just ungrateful, entitled, deceitful bossy cows and maybe she is one of them. Who knows.

I can understand a knee-jerk, "Oh I've messed up, who can I blame" reaction, which in itself isn't brilliant, but to phone a volunteer at home and berate her and make further demands? Nope.