to tell my friend my DD has been invited to the party or will I look like im rubbing her face in it...

[cubedmelon]

My DD (4yo) goes to infant school with a close friends DD. I had to collect DD early from school on Friday but received a text from my friend later that day saying that one of the boys in their class was handing out party invitations but only to the other boys and her DD couldnt understand why it was just boys invited and become a bit upset but my friend had reassured her it was only the boys.

Took DD into school this morning and the teacher had an invitation from the birthday boy for my DD, as she wasn't there on Friday afternoon the class teacher had kept it for her.

DD wants to go and id like her to attend but am concerned about my friends reaction. Am I being unreasonable to just be upfront and say DD has an invite, it will come out anyway im sure or does that look like im rubbing it in? How would you handle it?

My friend is lovely and id hate to upset her but her DD struggles to make friends and shes quite sensitive about DD being invited to things.

She sounds like she needs to get her own life and stop freaking out about her dds social life

okay :) everyone else thought I was being unreasonable anyway.
it's possible she's unhinged.
it's also possible that she was bullied as a child and is scared the same thing will happen to her dd.

Maybe nickle she is a very logical person in every other way. I get the impression that she was very popular at school, maybe she's afraid of the unknown (her DD not being popular being the unknown).

Thank you all though for your replies

If you like her that much and she's usually normal, it might be a good thing to approach her about her overreaction when she's recovered her sanity. Other parents will avoid inviting her daughter to parties/playdates to escape nonsense from the crazy mother if she keeps it up. She might find herself creating the problem she fears most for her daughter.

You need to get through to her that while you can forgive that because you're her friend and you know and love her, others won't be so indulgent. To them she will just be unnecessary hard work that they can't be bothered tiptoeing around.