To use my title

[ArtemisatBrauron]

I have a PhD and use my title - I was thinking of just using it at work but decided consistency was best and changed it with the bank etc as well. I've recently had several snide comments about it as well as a few family members and work colleagues who continue to address me/write to me as Mrs Brauron. I haven't corrected them because it seems rude, but it annoys me - AIBU?

Erm, well I'm not a doctor, so it's beyond the point anyway.

It's nothing to do with others, it's just that I would find it amazing if I were a doctor, so I would use it. Just because you're obsessed with what others think doesn't mean we all are.

Noi don't care what others think, hence my not being concerned about how they address me.

Hmm, well, I tend to find that when people ascribe qualities to others, they quite often have those qualities themselves. Just a thought.

Like I said, I hate the whole Miss/Mrs/Ms nonsense. I would be really happy if I achieved a phd. Why not celebrate that? Other women celebrate their marriage, I'd like to celebrate my academic skills.

My bank requires me to have a title on my bank cards. I think it would be rather pointless not to put my correct one.
*goal, it's not about advertising, academic or otherwise. It's my title. What exactly is the problem with that?

I think demanding family members use it on personal letters is a bit odd, but aside from that, it wouldn't bother me (unless someone made a mistake and got screamed at for it) - you've worked for the PhD, you deserve the title it comes with (I feel very different about inherited-type titles )

goal

If you call youself Miss or Mrs, you'll annoy the feminists. If you call yourself Ms, you'll upset the conservatives. Calling yourself Dr will irritat folk who see academic titles as bing pretentious.

So the moral of this thread, dear OP, is that whatever you decide to do, sombody, somewhere will make a catsbumface about it.

With apologies for all the typos!

Someoftheabove - ms is also your title (assuming you are female). Why not use that? Having a Doctorate doesn't mean you have no other way of being addressed. Like I said I would think you were being pretentious but I don't expect you to care about that.

I always use mine. Would never expect family/friends to put anything on an envelope other than Peevish McPeevishton, but if they are going to use a title for some reason, then I am either Dr. or Ms.

I had my PhD before I was married, and I was widowed a couple of years after the birth of my DS, so 'Dr' is the title I've lived longest with (aside from the title I was born with). But in social situations, I introduced myself as First name, Last Name. And even in professional situations, I rarely use either of my professional titles. Although I do think it's funny at times, when I do have to mention I'm a professor, and people immediately treat me differently. It's why I prefer not to use that title.

goal do you think that medicos who use the title Dr (unless they have a PhD it's a courtesy title only) are showing off?

Given the fuss on the other thread about Ms. no wonder women use alternatives if they have them.

Personally, I'm fine with the Quaker form of formal address "First Name, Last Name" with no title for anyone, man, woman, or child. I think it's simple and respectful.

I wish Peevish McPeevishton was your actual name. That wouldbe amazing!

Collie- I think medics using their title in anon work situation are equally odd tbh. Collie you seem to have the balance just right.

If I had worked hard enough to get a PhD I would want to use the title for every given opportunity. What I find odd is people who put their degree letters after their name. Frankly anything less than a PhD is pretty common these days.

Personally I don't see the big deal about going to university as so many do these days. I was the second and last in my extended family to go to uni (my db was the first) and I graduated 25 years ago. My parents had no education having had to leave school at 14 but the absolute minimum qualification they expected from myself and my db was a degree and preferably something more (both of us are professionally qualified). I don't use my degree or professional title in my personal life and rarely do in my work life (my job indicates my professional qualification).

I'm doing my doctorate now. Will insist on Dr when I'm awarded it!

I'm really intrigued by the idea that referring to someone with a PhD as 'Dr' is pretentious. It wouldn't occur to me to do anything else. I'd see it more along the lines of remembering who prefers to be 'Mrs Husband's Name', who prefers to be 'Ms Own Name', how you spell people's first names, etc - it's just a matter of taking trouble with friends and colleagues. The one thing that has put me out lately is a colleague who is now 'Dr Wife's Name'. I see his reasoning, I just can't remember the bloody name!

goal, why do you assume I'm female?
I never said I've got no other way of being addressed. I just said my title is Dr and that's what I use. I still don't see why you find it such a problem. Why is using your correct title pretentious?

I only used to use my title (PhD, so Dr) when publishing articles and at speaking engagements. Most of my colleagues and friends and family know that I have a PhD, but they address me by my first name. I prefer it that way TBH. I always felt that in my field I wanted people to listen to me because of what I had to say and because I was very good at my job, not because I hold this title.

However, I have changed career and now work as a teacher, so now no longer use it. I have the feeling that it possibly may create a gulf with other staff and parents, as I am very overqualified compared with most teachers (doesn't mean I am a better teacher obviously, but had a totally different career before entering teaching).

I'm a medical doctor (GP) and rarely use my title. I just feel a bit of a tit, even at work I introduce myself to patients with my first and second name, I just feel twatty insisting on Dr Knackered. Most of my colleagues use Dr though.
Not sure if you are BU or not!

I think it's really important for women to us 'Dr' as it's so much assumed to be a male title - either that medics are, by default, men, or that academics are. We need to change that.

I think the thing of an academic 'dr' being called up for first aid in an emergency on a plane is utter bollocks, btw - maybe it happened once, but these days I have never been on a plane it's not simply been that they ask medics to identify themselves. And you don't have titles on passports, so they wouldn't necessarily know anyway.

I do think it's BU to expect family to use a title, unless you've got a name like Smith and there's a real chance letters to 'Mrs Smith' would go astray and letters to 'Dr Smith' wouldn't.

I use my Dr title when a title is asked for. I have no idea why I wouldn't, it isn't a preference, it is my title.

DH uses Dr quite generally. I've noticed the school still address letters to Mr and Mrs Juggling even though that's not what we put when we filled out various forms. We had to check our details (mainly contact wise) were right recently and I told them again what we'd prefer (well, why not hey ?) so we'll see if they notice at any point !

So if you are a doctor married to a doctor would you get mail addressed to Dr & Dr nokidshere

The only thing I think about this thread is how bizarre it is that a title (any title) bothers people so much. I call people the name they are introduced to me by and wouldn't ever question it.

I think it's really important for women to us 'Dr' as it's so much assumed to be a male title

Yes, I agree with this. It's especially so if you're a teacher or otherwise in a visible position; it's good to show kids that not all Doctors are middle-class men.

It's one reason I like to use it - as well as being female I am from a veeeeeery "deprived" area, where lots of kids leave school with no GCSEs (including me - it took me a long time to sort my arse out and go back to education as an adult). So I think it's nice to show that academia is no longer the preserve of a privileged few. Though Cameron and co. are doing their best to fix that