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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you for compassion and to watch this.

79 replies

morethanpotatoprints · 28/02/2013 23:00

I have been appalled at the lack of compassion and empathy shown to a poster seeking help on these threads. Despite trying to find work and succeeding the family are being failed by the welfare system. I don't think they are alone in this and believe there will be many more.

AIBU to ask you to show some support for these families, to offer suggestions or advice to help them support their families?
Not to judge and name call rather than help.

If you think I am being unreasonable, or if you are a young parent please watch my link. It's quite harrowing though. Please spare 5 mins.

OP posts:
IneedAsockamnesty · 01/03/2013 00:36

What was the channel 4 one called?

gaelicsheep · 01/03/2013 00:36

sydlexic - pretty soon there will be capped housing benefit and withdrawal of tax credits if people don't find non-existent jobs. That's what will be going wrong very very soon. Sad

gaelicsheep · 01/03/2013 00:37

Plus the recent attack on the ill and disabled of course.

gaelicsheep · 01/03/2013 00:39

Plus I have heard an increasing number of voices either saying overtly, or hinting, that the children of "feckless" parents should be taken into care. Sad

IlianaDupree · 01/03/2013 00:57

Tbh I'm on that bottom line and can reassure everyone that the middle classes are feeling it.

There's no growth, there's no spending, targets are not attainable, income is down, business is suffering.

Every business round here is suffering and everyone is dreading the benefit changes.

We need investment and business not bankers bonus and millionaire tax relief.

The middle class are waking up.

slightly scared at own rant

medievaljacqui · 01/03/2013 01:07

darkesteyes what you said here
And you just know that when this Gov comes for them that they will expect sympathy support and empathy from the very people that they are now deriding.
The same empathy that they are denying to those people now
.

Reminded me of this poem by Niemoller:

'First they came for the communists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a communist.

Then they came for the socialists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Catholic.

Then they came for me,
and there was no one left to speak for me'.

Obviously I'm not comparing the issue with the Holocaust, but the idea that some people will bury their heads in the sand until something affects them really pisses me off! It doesn't matter how big or small the issue is, we should all stand up and be counted!

pigsDOfly · 01/03/2013 01:08

I honestly don't feel we've reached the stage where a similar updated version of CCH could realistically be made. Not yet. But that isn't to say that at some stage we won't get there, and that rather depends on who's pulling the strings of government.

I think/hope we have moved on since CCH was made.

Having said that, the gap between rich and poor is widening all the time and with a government that is so out of touch with the lives of the vast majority of the population we could very well be heading back in that direction.

Viviennemary · 01/03/2013 01:16

I find it really worrying that people think the Tories will be out at the next election. I don't think they will be. In fact unless Labour replace Milliband they will do worse than last time. That is only my humble opinion of course.

gaelicsheep · 01/03/2013 01:18

I agree we're not there yet. But there was a time I would have said we'd never be there again, but I'm no longer so certain of that. Human nature doesn't change, and the current times seem to be bringing out the worst in a sizeable chunk of society.

gaelicsheep · 01/03/2013 01:20

I agree Vivienne. I see no evidence that the majority are unhappy enough - yet - to vote them out.

gaelicsheep · 01/03/2013 01:22

I also think that if an updated CCH type drama was made it would not have the same impact. I don't think people "feel" real life like they did, so many are just too cut off and sheltered. It would just be another piece of "entertainment".

Darkesteyes · 01/03/2013 01:28

medieval yes thats the poem i was thinking of.

I dont think most people are unhappy enough to vote them out either.
i dread them getting in again in 2015.
People i know in RL are under the misapprehension that Universal Credit is only going to replace Jobseekers Allowance. They dont realise its going to replace HB as well. There are a lot of people unaware of whats coming who are going to get a shock.

Darkesteyes · 01/03/2013 01:30

gaelic i agree I dont think it would have the same impact either. Look at what it took to get rid of the poll tax.
The new rules on council tax are just the poll tax by the back door.

IneedAsockamnesty · 01/03/2013 02:03

Dark.

Are they changing the ct rules as well as removing ctb?

Ct rules are not something I'm very up on unless they relate to none payment

Darkesteyes · 01/03/2013 02:08

Council tax benefit is being abolished and replaced with Council Tax Support but they want ALL working age people to pay something towards their council tax no matter what their circumstances i THINK its 20% of their CT they want people to pay but im not sure. There was an interesting thread on Universal Credit i saw linked into another thread on here. Will try to link it into this thread.

Darkesteyes · 01/03/2013 02:10

They are expecting people to go without payment for FIVE WEEKS while they get UC "organised"

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/legal_money_matters/1693346-Just-had-a-letter-from-my-HA-about-the-housing-benefit-changes-Some-people-are-gonna-be-in-the-shit-Its-madness

IneedAsockamnesty · 01/03/2013 08:28

Ohhh I thought you ment they were also changing the actual ct rules on top of the ctb changes.

IlianaDupree · 01/03/2013 08:44

Not yet but regulation of council tax is being placed with the local authorities. It is then up to them how they work out who pays what, atm some local authorities are covering the removal of ctb, some aren't.

If you live somewhere with no help it's going to affect who pays what/how. The short fall will have to be covered somewhere by the local authority.

I'm single, no childcare costs, mh issues, it will be a hard but others have serious issues like childcare, learning difficulties, they're screwed

morethanpotatoprints · 01/03/2013 08:56

Hello all, I am so glad so many have posted. I knew it was late last night and thought it would go unanswered.

I do know the middle classes are feeling the pinch too, but there is a huge difference between a pinch and what is happening all around us.
I do hope that society realises what is happening before its too late.
When the film was first aired a quarter of the population watched it and the BBC phone line was jammed with people complaining how on earth could this be allowed to happen. Many of those who complained had been the judgmental crowd supporting the government.

I think society needs to wake up and realise its government that inform society how they behave.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 01/03/2013 09:09

Apologies if I've got this wrong and I don't want to offend anyone but the issue here is more about how people will be affected by UC if they have less money coming in long term surely? If more than 2 million households are going to be affected then it may be a real problem (and of course it won't save money overall)

It can't be the short term '5 week' problem as people (like I would) would just not pay their rent (or mortgage) for 5 weeks - noone is going to get evicted in 5 weeks. And when the money comes in backdated you would just catch up on your rent.

This short term problem will have to be filled by a combination of crisis loans and charities (which is really shit and we should put pressure on MP's to stop it).

IlianaDupree · 01/03/2013 09:18

It's the long term problem of removing benefits to people who either can't understand or have no options.

People in council housing with children will have to pay out of UC for "extra" rooms on top of paying CT, many do not understand the implications of this.

People will have to wait 5 weeks for UC but what they get will be less than they need.

People don't understand this, how will charities support 2million. The job centre knows how bad people are going to be hit but can't find jobs these people

IlianaDupree · 01/03/2013 09:24

They can't find the jobs for the lower income people as the middle income business owners aren't employing as their income is dying.

I have business owner friends who can't take me on as they don't have the income. They are scared they're going to go under and that's now, before UC comes in.

Bankers and millionaires don't spend their money where it's needed.

But then you could cay it's the businesses own fault for not targetting millionaires cash.

ChairmanWow · 01/03/2013 09:25

I do get sick of middle class people being cited constantly by both main political parties. Labour in particular should know better yet are obsessed with the so-called 'squeezed middle' and have fallen into the rhetoric of 'workers not shirkers'. I'm in that group but in the past have been on low pay with debts and struggling to make ends meet and there is a world of difference between the two.

The poor have been totally abandoned by the mainstream and there is a propaganda war going on against them which is sickening. Cutting the benefits of the poorest, including people with disabilities and simultaneously victim-blaming is just heartless. There is a genuine effort to try and convince people that Heather Frost is a typical benefit claimant, or that most people on incapacity are just lazy, Jeremy Kyle-watching chain smokers, or that the bulk of the UK'a benefits bill is used up by the feckless and the lazy when in fact it's the working poor who claim the lion's share - so we're subsidising companies which don't want to pay a living wage.

I'm so, so sickened by what is happening and by some of the threads and posts on here from people who join in with the victim blaming. I don't think we're at Cathy Come Home yet, but we're sliding that way.

But given many at the top, in politics, the media and the financial sector have never experienced anything other than extreme wealth it's hardly surprising that there is an ideological war going on against the poor really.

IlianaDupree · 01/03/2013 09:25

I'm ranting, sorry

ChairmanWow · 01/03/2013 09:41

Me too Iliana

Just found this on the BBC via a FB page I'm linked to. It relates to the launch of the Troubled Families initiative in 2011.

*"Speaking about the programme at the time, Prime Minister David Cameron referred to 120,000 families who were plagued by drug addiction, alcohol dependency and crime.

The report said families counted as "troubled" had to exhibit certain characteristics - none of which actually related to alcohol or drug addiction or criminality.

The largest shared characteristic of the families was, in fact, that the mother had mental health problems."*

But of course people might feel compassion for mothers with mental health problems so let's portray them as pissed up thieving druggies instead, eh.

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