To ask SAHMs and people on mat leave what you 'do' day to day? Particularly those with toddlers.

[mylittlepuds]

I'm on mat leave for a year, have a toddler and another on the way - but only usually work two days when not on leave.

Today I've taken DS to a group, we've had lunch and this afternoon I've cleaned a bit, read some books to DS and erm not a lot else really.

Yes we could have gone out this afternoon but I find it hard to get everything sorted - and then when I do we go to a group and it's pretty crap to be fair.

I ADORE DS. He is absolutely the light of our lives. But I do feel I am slowly going mental. I have interests such as writing and crafts but DS will climb on knee if I were to try doing some of a day rather than an evening - he's playing with my necklace now and prodding my face making typing this rather difficult!

Am I getting this mum thing all wrong?

Re-read your post after you've had your second. You'll laugh your head off.

Whoops, posted too soon dam phone.

With two you will be so rushed off your feet you will find worrying about how to entertain toddler 12hrs a day diminishes. cBeebies will be your friend, and so will playgroups as getting out of the house is crucial imo.

Young children are hard work full stop.

That sounds about right to me! I have 2 year old twins, and a 5 month old, and we spend a lot more time at home than going to groups etc. The stress of leaving the house and controlling two toddlers/appeasing a screaming baby makes it barely worth the effort. We try to visit my parents once a week, and invite friends with children over a couple of times a week for some variety, but often it's just us.

We do something ever morning. Soft play, beach, park, library, botanical gardens, dance class are all standards. The afternoon is unstructured unless I am going loopy. Then we do something as well. Laundry, cleaning and cooking fits around that.

No but sometimes aim for going out in teh afternoon,it brings the day in more.
I have a 5 yr old,3 yr old and 22 month old.
There is no harm putting the telly on to give yourself some peace.
Also what used to keep me sane is bath i the afternoon,let them play and let him have some time to himself.Is he old enough to play in his room.

Party days where you dont do anything but watch dvds and eat crap.My kids love these days.

Sounds like you're getting it all right to me. I always found with DS1 that one activity a day was enough and just doing bits and bobs at home/in the garden was fine. Since DS2 came along I hardly find a spare half hour to drink tea and MN. This is one of those rare occasions.

How old is your toddler? Any chance of adapting your craft to suit a little boy? - threading things/doodling next to you/helping sort bits? (or just get the lego out)

BTW there is no wrong to most of this. Parents that stay home - fine. Parents that do lots of activities - fine. He won't be sitting on your lap playing with your necklace at 16 yo.

It also depends on your DC. DD is incredibly active. If I staying home all the time, she would be climbing the walls. I have a friend whose DD is the opposite. They can noodle around at home all day, DD just follows her around.

He's absolutely amazing. He is 22 months and a total live wire - hence the need to get out of a morning otherwise he'd be climbing the walls as much as me! But after that one group I've stopped him from rugby tackling the other kids etc and can't find it in me to do round #2 on the afternoon.

We do occasionally do crafts but I find it keeps him entertained all of half an hour - but it's definitely still worth doing as he really does enjoy it. Play doh etc.

I just think I'm putting too much pressure on myself to have this fabulously fun life - I find motherhood such a contrast to when I was working full time. I would not change it for the world - as that would mean we wouldn't have DS but I don't feel like 'myself'. I count the hours until DH gets home: not good, at all.

Maybe baby 2 will flip things around - I don't know how I'm going to cope as find it hard enough with a toddler but perhaps that will be a good thing in a way. Less time to think...

It isn't actually that much fun to go to a park and push a child on a swing! It's actually really boring, unless you go with a friend, drink tea and chat in-between stopping your child hitting others or falling off the climbing frame! I think you probably are putting too much pressure on yourself - if everyone is okay at the end of the day, you have done one outdoor activity and possibly something vaguely constructive at home that is a good day!

I count the hours til DH is home too. Doesn't mean we don't have a good day though.

DS1 is currently occupying himself with a vtech toy alphabet thing and the duplo and a tractor while DS2 is asleep on the playmat so I'm having a cup of tea. I consider this a good day because I haven't lost my temper and we have been out before lunch to the park.

Children are tedious, no getting away from that, but you can still have fun while adjusting your expectations of what makes a productive day.

Toddler stage is ace as most places are still free!!
Farm
Zoos
Soft play
Have a google for any rainforest / butterfly type places, fab for rainy days.
Let them do the food shopping e.g 'can you get me 1 apple'
Parks... Go on a bear hunt, teddy bears picnic
Libraries often have story times
Museums, surprising how interested my ds was in stuffed dead animals!

Think like a child and get involved it gets easier!

An example of my week so far

Monday - school run (SR), home for snack, art class, nap, lunch, SR, home for cleaning / dinner,
Tues - as above but toddler group not art and football for ds after school so dd and I go to library. Oh and supermarket shop.
Wed- SR then home for playing, nap, lunch, SR, cafe for snack n coffee with friends, park.
Today - SR, nip to ahops, coffee and play with friends, home for nap and lunch, SR, home for mums netting playing/ cleaning.
Tomorrow- SR then toddlers etc again and probably park.

Ds is 6, dd is 2. Don't over think it all just do what you want to each day - I like getting out the house and away from housework ! Once you've had your second you'll be pretty buy anywys!

I would do something you like in the afternoon that e can also be involved with. That way you don't feel so much like everything is only for him or tedious.

What about:

• afternoon bath for you both. Make it special with candles/ lights maybe up high, lots of bubbles and toys for him. You can sit at one end with a magazine and he can play/ and get clean at once

• make cakes/ dinner together.

• supermarket small shop where e can help count veg/ choose yogurt etc, followed by hot choc in cafe

• afternoon film in bed if miserable outside/ your tired

• make him a den

If you have a toddler, he/she needs to go to either a park where there is a sandpit/climbing frame, or to the swimming pool, or to soft play or trampoline or baby gym etc every day.

Bonsoir - they don't need to go somewhere every day.

In France it's le law

Monday - Toddler group with 3 friends & their DC. Then home for lunch & nap, then to mums for afternoon.

Tuesday - different toddler group with a different friend. Then drop DD at PIL for afternoon and get stuff done and go to evening pub quiz (I am the height of cool obviously )

Wednesday - Gymboree then food shopping. Then a different friend usually comes over for the afternoon & DH has DD for the evening and I go to the movies with my friends every week.

Thursday - rhyme time with Monday friends. Then lunch at PIL with SIL and her DC, then usually off to some shops with her finishing with loads of wine before home.

Friday - gymnastics atm but DD not loving it so am going to quit and might either try Ballet or have a free day. After gym we either have friends over or meet people at the park.

Saturday - swimming with DH then maybe a zoo or something else.

Sunday - nothing DD related, but big family dinner somewhere where she runs around with her cousins madly.

Of course sometimes we quit this routine and snuggle under a duvet and watch a movie and eat chocolate

I love my life and will be lost when she goes to nursery.

I went to two toddler groups, friends and family for visits and with 5 DC I was never ever bored.

Yes they do! Children's gross motor development is very rapid in toddlerhood and they need plenty of room to grow then. They will be calmer at school if their toddlerhood has allowed them maximum opportunities for motor development.

Boring people get bored - I think I must be one of them! I need to pull myself together I think and just do more stuff. Thank you all so much for your suggestions. Curious you sound like you've got it sorted! Quite jealous!

Outside every day is good advice, I feel much better for the fresh air.

I also try to do a group a day or swimming or soft play. We are always busy because it takes ages to get anything done with a DD 'helping'

We go out every morning too. I have a 2.6ds and a 2 month ds. We do;

Monday park then swimming
Tuesday a sports class at soft play then soft play
Wed park or friends house normally
Thur playgroup
Fri music class then shops

He naps 2-4 then in the afternoon I potter, I try to have something planned like baking, painting, quick trip to shops, craft or playing music but normally just let ds play and decide what to do. Then dinner at 6 and mercifully the tv goes on after dinner while I bathe the baby.

The saving grace is that I do all these activities with various friends. Otherwise I would go insane.

I just said I ran a small family business and didn't have time to work outside the home,,,still say it

"Maybe baby 2 will flip things around - I don't know how I'm going to cope as find it hard enough with a toddler but perhaps that will be a good thing in a way. Less time to think..."

When baby number 2 arrive you will not be pregnant any more! :o

Sounds obvious, but it really makes a difference to your energy levels and ability to cope. (Well it did to mine anyway).

I found having 2 easier than having 1.

There was no time to fill. I was busy all the time. And I deal better with that than having that not really free time you have with a sole toddler.

Like Mrs pp, I try to get out every morning, mostly to toddler groups (have a nearly 8 month old and 3 year old at home). Afternoons are more unstructured time at home, but we have school run to do.

Also we often have a quick run to the park in the late afternoon if the weather is good. As someone said earlier, it can bring the day in.