to not want to feed my baby sugar?

[BabyLabyrinth]

DD is nearly 10mo. She eats everything put in front of her (veg, fruit, bread, meat, dairy, eggs, etc.) and enjoys her food. But I have never given her biscuits, cake, fruit juice, squash, chocolate or other "treats", which is now being met with by seemingly all and sundry.

At lunch with my grandparents the other day, they raised an eyebrow when I stopped my father giving her a sugary, creamy dessert. With PIL, I was told I was being precious for not allowing her to have some of the apple and rum (!) cake. My next-door neighbour actually got cross with me yesterday when I told her I would prefer DD not to be given a biscuit, even though it had 30% less sugar in it. And my friends think it's weird I won't let DD have squash in her cup (she gets water or breastmilk ...).

I know sugar won't kill her. I know in small quantities it's perfectly ok as part of a balanced diet. I know that as she gets older I won't be able to stop her having sweets and stuff when out with friends or family. But I also know it's completely unnecessary, and until she's a bit older, I just don't want her to have it!

(Although I do bake things occasionally, we generally eat healthily: meals from scratch, no shop-bought cakes/biscuits, no fizzy drinks, etc. I try to eat very low-sugar because it helps keep my eczema under control.)

AIBU? Is this a PFB thing? For those of you who think I'm not being totally unreasonable please say there are some, what on earth do I say to my well-meaning relatives and friends?!

Your child, your choice. YANBU.

Personally, I do let my 10 month old have the occassional nibble of cake etc, but certainly not regularly or every day.

No squash here either. Baby has formula or water. He's only just got his first two teeth, don't want to ruin them with sugary drinks!

I don't know, we were far more laissez faire with our 2. I suppose if you yourself never eat sweet things it may be reasonable but it will all fall apart as she gets older whatever you do.

Personally I think you are being a bit PFB. Sugar is inevitable. But thats just my opinion.

BUT shes your baby and its your choice so YANBU at all. I can see why you want to wait until shes older. I didnt give DD1 much sugar until after a year but I would have allowed a childrens yoghurt or a biscuit.

Yanbu, and you know it.

So NOT unreasonable. The amount of sugar in the average child's diet in this country is shocking.

Sugar is inevitable when she's older but while you can keep her diet as low in it as possible why wouldn't you?

Her taste bud will be more sensitive to it because she gets so little so she is still experiencing sweet treats.

YANBU

There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. My child is 11 months and I've only just started letting her have low sugar things. If I get the raised eyebrows or comments from any of her family I nastily point out how fat they all are, as well as myself, and how I don't want her to grow up thinking sugar is a treat. It should be part of a normal diet as a dessert. I also have to remind them that she doesn't have large portions of food if she's having a dessert, she has a REDUCED portion to allow for the dessert.

She's allowed low sugar apple juice now. The amount of sugar in those ready to drink 'baby' squashes is astonishing.

I'm sure I come across as a food nazi, especially when she's probably ingesting things equally bad for her that I do not know about but it's my choice. I've been trying to get her to brush her teeth or let me do it and it is coming along quite well but not nearly good enough to combat the damage that sugar can do to her teeth. She already has bad breath so until her brushing is more effective the excess sugar is being dropped.

I had a bit of a rant/'me moment' there didn't I?

YANBU. What they don't know, they don't miss. I managed this approach until my first dc was 2 years old. The others have had sweet stuff earlier but that was always inevitable as they see the older ones.

We have always let our dc have puddings if everyone else if having one, which is not very often.

Tbh they ate some then rubbed the rest in to their hair so they wouldn't have had a huge amount of sugar.
Its not something we have ever worried about, but yanbu as I think it is a case of your child your rules.

I don't blame you for trying to keep it out of her diet as much as possible.

Tell any one giving you a face that you're trying to prevent her developing eczema by excluding sugar from her diet, that may be wrong but it might stop the quizzical faces!

Not unreasonable, though possibly a teeny bit PFB

DD a few months older than yours only has milk or water - I genuinely don't see the need for juice or squash if they will drink water. In fact, the one time I tried baby squash when she was poorly and I thought it might be a treat and help her drink me, she spat it out and hated it! We also default to fruit, yoghurts and vegetables like peas as her 'treats'. There really is no reason to give them cake and biscuits if they are happy eating fresher food.

However we do let her have the odd bite of adult cakes, biscuits and chocolate. By 'odd' I guess she might have a mouthful or two of those things every week. We've been bought chocolate for her, we let her have a few bites, then we just thanked the people who have it to her and put it in the cupboard.

I think at getting towards 1yo it might be time to start letting her have the odd mouthful or taste. If you don't, have you thought how or when you might introduce her to these foods?

If someone wants to give DD some food I don't entirely agree with (my parents, like yours, don't really grasp the current guidelines for healthy foods!) I let DD have a mouthful or too, and then that's it, I just say politely "she's had enough now". That seems to work at the minute as it avoids people thinking you are 'weird' by not allowing anything sweet at all, but it almost entirely restricts what she is eating.

However, at the end of the day - your child = your rules. If you don't want her to have something, just say no.

YANBU - It's over 30 years ago now but I know that my DC had no sugar until he was about 18 months & then it wasn't much - ever. I don't like sugar at all so not much in the diet at home. He has, at 33, perfect teeth, never had a filling & no sweet tooth at all, for which he is very grateful.

Neither of my DC had refined sugar before 1 and still have a minimal amount, so I say YANBU.

It really does my head in that people actually think it's okay to give a 2 year old a family sized bag of lollies as a 'treat' or that chocolate buttons are a proper snack choice. Or that giving your kids each a bag of sweets to eat in the school grounds straight after school EVERY fecking day is alright.

However I don't openly comment to these idiots people, just like I don't expect them to comment on my choices.

YANBU we had the same issue with dd & family. My DF nearly exploded in disbelief when I said I'd prefer he didn't give her sugary tea at breakfast time when she was 10 months old. He has spent her entire life just desperate for her to eat crisps & chocolate. My ILs are the same, mil actually said something like, eat up your lunch so you can have something nice. Luckily dd (then 2) was confused as roast lamb was her 'best dinner' & we she hates mil's trifle!

I hate the bribing with 'nice' things, it's a horrible mindset. There is no requirement for anyone to eat refined sugar & I held off for as long as I could. It is important to remember that refined sugar is addictive. She is now as likely to choose a plum as a fudge bar, she doesn't seem to view chocolate as an 'elevated' food stuff. She loves it, but she loves blueberries more.

DS is 11 months & dd (now 3.2) just loves sharing with him. He's also an expert scavenger at playgroups. He definitely has an obsession with sweet things & crisps. I don't know if it's because he was introduced to it younger or just has more of a sweet tooth.

Anyhow, why feed her something she doesn't need or really want?

My DD is 18mo and I'm the same as you. People think your mental and cruel if you don't feed your baby chocolate and sweets every day. I really don't get it.

And don't get me started on squash! Whats wrong with water? of all the parents I know, my DD is the only one that doesn't have squash, and yet I'm the 'weird one' for giving her water.

I don't care what other people give their children but everyone, especially family, seem to have an opinion on what I give mine.

Sorry rant over! But you are def NBU!

YANBU
Its a pity more parents are not like you. If people get upset because you won't allow them to give your DD sugary stuff - thats their problem.

my DS had his first biscuit at 12 months and even now at 22 it is only on special occasion. He's never had fruit juice (only water) or crisps, ice cream a handful of times. And some friends and my parents are telling me off for 'denying him'. Thing is DS doesn't know those things exists and doesn't miss them and to be honest the few time he had them wasn't that fuss.

in short YANBU.

Its fine to be like this with your first child. More difficult w dc2 and subsequent, if dc1 by then eats 'forbidden' food. A lot of people aren't going to understand so practice explaining quietly and assertively, without sounding like you are criticising other people's choices with their dc.

Do you have an age in mind when you'd be happy for her to eat cake etc? For allergy reasons ds1 was never able to have the same as other children, although we tried to find substitutes. Beyond a certain age it is very difficult.

Agree with Davsmum-

I'm also really confused by the squash thing. When dd was 14mo we were visiting family & she was slurping from her transparent nuby, lurid blue cup. My aunt did the old 'ooh what has your mummy given you ?! When I said, water, there was a chorus of, 'ooh, you're good' . Good? Really? It hadn't occurred to me to give her anything but water or breast milk at that point.

Cue Aunty going straight to the kitchen & coming back with a fruit shoot for the poor dear. I declined.

he is 22 months not 22 years btw!

22 mo DS doesn't have juice. Only water or milk. There's no need for it.

YANBU at all. By the time she gets to the stage where she's asking for sweet things, or grabbing them, you'll have to change your tactics, but at the moment her diet is entirely under your control and you are making healthy choices for her.
Plus, those that are annoying you need to get used to the idea that what you say goes! Your child, not theirs.

I'd probably say something like "Sugar disagrees with me so we're limiting DDs intake until we know if she has the same sensitivity as me".
If they're particularly thick skinned, try "The doctor advised we avoid sugar for her until we know if she has the same sensitivity as me".

OP yanbu...but prepare for battle .

I am like you in that we cook from scratch..very healthy stuff...but yesterday DD had tizer and candyfloss as she had a playdate and I bought them a horrid treat.

You may chill out as it's wearing not to.

YANBU. I gave my DD1 nothing but water because I didn't want episodes of juice on the settee like when her older DB was small . She is now 10yo and will not drink juice or fizzy drinks, only milk or water (even though relations try persuading her to "because she needs the vitamins") - her dentist is very impressed with her teeth!