to not want to feed my baby sugar?

[BabyLabyrinth]

DD is nearly 10mo. She eats everything put in front of her (veg, fruit, bread, meat, dairy, eggs, etc.) and enjoys her food. But I have never given her biscuits, cake, fruit juice, squash, chocolate or other "treats", which is now being met with by seemingly all and sundry.

At lunch with my grandparents the other day, they raised an eyebrow when I stopped my father giving her a sugary, creamy dessert. With PIL, I was told I was being precious for not allowing her to have some of the apple and rum (!) cake. My next-door neighbour actually got cross with me yesterday when I told her I would prefer DD not to be given a biscuit, even though it had 30% less sugar in it. And my friends think it's weird I won't let DD have squash in her cup (she gets water or breastmilk ...).

I know sugar won't kill her. I know in small quantities it's perfectly ok as part of a balanced diet. I know that as she gets older I won't be able to stop her having sweets and stuff when out with friends or family. But I also know it's completely unnecessary, and until she's a bit older, I just don't want her to have it!

(Although I do bake things occasionally, we generally eat healthily: meals from scratch, no shop-bought cakes/biscuits, no fizzy drinks, etc. I try to eat very low-sugar because it helps keep my eczema under control.)

AIBU? Is this a PFB thing? For those of you who think I'm not being totally unreasonable please say there are some, what on earth do I say to my well-meaning relatives and friends?!

Ds is 3 and will only drink squash (very weak) I keep trying milk and water but he is having none of it!

I have never let him have lots of sugar but at the same time not stopped him either, as far as I am concerned its part of his diet along with everything else. I am all for the everything in moderation approach. There again if offered a banana or some chocolate 9 times out of 10 he will go for banana so it's never been an issue really!

I don't give my daughter (2.5) chocolate or sweets -- she gets cake at birthday parties and scones and buns and things if she's offered them, but I tend to make the sweeties disappear asap. She LOVES cake, but loves cream cheese bagels too, and we just downplay all sugary foods and never use them as bribes or treats in daily life. She seems quite happy and doesn't binge at parties.

My motivation is my own bad habits and weight problem, and it really works to shut people up when you tell them you're trying to make sure she never ends up with mommy's food and weight issues or grandpa's obesity-diabetes... .

I'm more surprised that anyone experiences negative reactions to limiting sugar for small babies - none of the babies we ever hang out with drink juice or squash (all around 12 months) and they only have sugar very occasionally. Mine has the biscuits that are sweetened with fruit juice, but not as a matter of course, and seems equally excited by almost anything food wise so presumably isn't getting a particular taste for it.

My DD did not have sweets or chocolates apart from very rare occasions until she was about 5 yrs old - She never asked for them because she was not used to having them. Once she was mixing with other children at school she did have more but I was just glad she had 5 years not being stuffed with sugar.

I think its often parents wanting to 'treat' their children thats the issue - they don't seem to think its fair NOT to give them sweets. Children really do not need sugar for a treat.

Yanbu.

I have Lots of children ranging in age from 11 months to 20 years not one of them has any interest in eating crap.

I'm pretty sure none of them had any cakes or sweets until they were about 3 and after that it was hardly ever just birthday cakes or Christmas cake. They all have good teeth and very healthy relationships with food.

I think the reason why relatives (mostly grandparents) tend to get all weird about it is because they have a almost pathological intense need to be viewed by the child ( or think that's how the child views them) as the happy nice treat giving people.

When they have young kids of there own they know that you show love by bringing them up nicely treating them well and giving good foundations for the future but when they have gc's its like that totally goes out the window they know that the boundaries and foundations are totally a parents domain and to try and encroach on those things is likely to cause huge issues but they are so desperate to show love they think the only way they can do it is via food.

Its a bit like buying kids or bribing them for affection,I hate it, think it shows a distinct lack of imagination and tends to be done by people who have food issues themselves or are not very bright.

Obviously I am not talking about relatives who get the odd treat for there child relatives,I genuinely only mean the ones who can't even wait until you have left the room to sneak vast quantities of cake and sweets into tiny baby's mouths or can't understand why a entire pack of biscuits or a mars bar every day for a one year old is not a good idea and do think its perfectly acceptable to feed there gc's a giant pack of crisps a snickers bar and a wedge of cake, and call it lunch as many days a week as they possibly can,and think its ok to call you a depriving bastard cunt for not having squash and make the issue a huge battle.

My DS is 2.4 and he does eat sweet things - biscuits/chocolate/cake/ice cream etc but not everyday and always in moderation. We have more packets of chocolate buttons in our house than sense, because people always buy them for him but he only gets them a couple of times a week from us, and then only 5 or 6 at a time so that mummy can eat the rest while he's not looking

As for drinks though, he only has milk or water and I intend to keep that going for as long as I can. He very occasionally has chocolate milkshake and has had a few tastes of fresh orange juice, but isn't really interested.

Thanks, everybody. I obviously didn't think I was being particularly unreasonable but everyone else in RL was starting to make me worry ...

I bet many of us comfort eat to some extent, and I wonder how much that has to do with growing up thinking that sugar = treat = comfort. Plus, as you say, it's addictive. I HAD to eat a bowl of ice cream every day in pregnancy and had dreadful skin and gained 18 kg. Once DD was born, I didn't get a chance to eat ice cream in the evening, and so the habit was broken. I claimed it had been a pregnancy craving, but I knew I just wanted it.

I agree completely with the idea that other people see chocolate and cake as so normal that not giving them to my baby means that she is deprived of something. But as many of you have said, what she doesn't know she can't miss. Same with squash or teas. One friend gives her baby the equivalent of Ribena every day. Then she moans that he will never drink water.

Of course there are various types of sugar in fruit or bread or other carbs. But there are also really good things in them, too, like vitamins and minerals. White, refined sugar, as used in cakes and biscuits and processed foods, is just sugar. Nothing good about it, except that it tastes good, rots your teeth and makes you want more.

But trying to explain this without sounding preachy, precious or PFB-ish, etc., is nigh-on impossible. I like the idea of saying I don't want her to have sugar to make sure her skin is ok, though. That might work. Or blaming my own issues with food.

Actually if you read up about the health effects of sugar, it is horrible stuff. I agree it is really worth staying away from the stuff and not starting your kids with a sweet tooth.

I dont think you are being unreasonable for a 10 month old. I dont think its all that PFB either. My 12 month old has never had biscuits etc and she is dc5.
I think that once they are in to the toddler years and going out more, interacting with other people more and actually capable of understanding what a treat is then you do relax. My older children have treats, its not that I have banned them totally i just dont see the need for a baby.