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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving my 10 month old with strangers while I....

58 replies

appletarts · 28/02/2013 12:52

take toddler for an emergency pee? Ok it looks bad written down. The situation was that I was in a cafe with baby and toddler and toddler needed to pee. There was literally no place to put baby in the loo area as it was tiny and frankly a bit grim on the floor to pop him down there. I can't hold him and get toddler on and off the loo and wash her hands and she's not good enough to do it all herself without peeing on god knows what and gripping hold of the loo, yuk! So there were these two mums on a nearby table with their babies of similar age on their laps and they looked lovely enough so I asked them if they could watch baby while we went to the loo, they were happy to. I shuffled baby over in his highchair and he sat at their table grinning at them happily for the 3 minutes it took us to belt it to the loo and back.

Afterwards I thought it all seemed friendly enough and normal to me and safe but then I reality checked and I did leave him with total strangers out of sight for 3 minutes. We live in a tiny market town much like postman pat world where everyone knows everyone, but still. Am I a bad mother? AIBU? Any ideas

OP posts:
Flisspaps · 28/02/2013 12:54

Seems very sensible to me.

littleducks · 28/02/2013 12:56

Seems fine to me!

cuttingpicassostoenails · 28/02/2013 12:56

You are not a bad mother. Most of us are trustworthy and not likely to run off with random children, especially those of us who have raised a brood to adulthood and look back with some horror at the terrible toddler ages.

Passmethecrisps · 28/02/2013 12:57

You will get people who will tell you that you should have balanced the toddler on your shoulders etc.

It was fine. I can't see what your options were

SavoyCabbage · 28/02/2013 12:58

God no. Only yesterday I stood best to a pram while a woman moved her car. She had parked illegally, hadn't realised, got out, put up her pram, put the baby in, then realised. It would have taken her10 minutes to put everything in the car and take it all out again.

I instinctively started to push it in the direction she was going, then I thought "does this look like I am trying to steal her baby".Grin

Most people are decent lovely people.

yellowsheep · 28/02/2013 12:58

I would have done the same thing ;)

We went to visit pil in wales and were at a pub for lunch the pub owners came out and took the twins away for 45 minutes so me and dh could have a nice meal with the inlaws i didnt know them from adam - PIL only just about remembered there first names.

most people are nice normal well adjusted humans in the world... i think sometimes we forget that.

maxomummy · 28/02/2013 12:59

YANBU but it's not something I would have done to be honest. I have twins that are 2 1/2 and I sympathis because toilet cubicles are just not big enough to cater for anyone with a small child, let alone 2 or a baby in tow as well! It's just ridiculous that we are so unfriendly to families in this country that a mother has to leave her child unattended in order to take her other child to the toilet! What century are we living in?! In your place, I would probably have braved the grime with both children and given them both a really good wash afterwards but that's me and we shouldn't have to make that kind of choice imo.

Summerblaze · 28/02/2013 13:00

The majority of people are not child abductors. They were obviously mum's and had babies of a similar age. As someone else who has a 10 month old, I would not want to be running off with another one Grin.

I would have done exactly the same thing.

You are bound to get people coming on saying how terrible you were but they are also the ones who think their is a pedophile on every street corner.

Original poster
appletarts · 28/02/2013 13:27

Well I wouldn't have left him with anyone other than another mother tbh. Maybe I could have put my coat in the sink and plopped him in there, gosh what a thought!

OP posts:
MariusEarlobe · 28/02/2013 13:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PopeBenedictsP45 · 28/02/2013 13:50

I would've done this without a thought.

tasmaniandevilchaser · 28/02/2013 13:55

Sounds ok to me. If you had a sling you could take baby with you, but he/she might get bashed around in a small cubicle.

squeaver · 28/02/2013 13:55

For goodness sake, of course you did the right thing.

I have always said to my dd that if she ever finds herself lost or we get separated somewhere, she should find a lady with children and ask for help. It's never happened but I believe this is what the police advise.

ceeveebee · 28/02/2013 14:00

YANBU - I have 15 mo not-yet-walkiing twins - I'm always asking random people to watch one baby in their highchair or pram while I get the other one out eg in places where there's not enough room to push to the table, or if I have to leave the buggy outside a playgroup etc

seeker · 28/02/2013 14:04

Oh yes of course, because people in coffee shops are abducting babies every 30 seconds!

Of course you did the right thing, OP! Of course!!!!!!!!

cathpip · 28/02/2013 14:04

My sister has done the same with my 3 week old dd. She was accompanying me and my ds to an audiology appointment, so that she could look after dd for me whilst my ds had his appointment (only 3 at the time). My sisters dd suddenly needed a wee (only just potty trained) and sister was like oh crap cant put baby on the floor, there was a lovely old lady sat opposite in a wheelchair waiting to be seen who just piped up "give her to me i have had 7 babies i will look after her while you sort your dd out" My sister handed her straight over!!! needless to say the old lady had not legged it, and had thoroughly enjoyed her cuddle.

bedmonster · 28/02/2013 14:09

Of course you did the right thing. I would have done the same.

I too have been in pubs having lunch when the DC were all small and remember waiters and waitresses taking the baby off our hands walking around with them for half an hour while we could eat in relative peace. Lovely. Didn't know who they were but trusted them not to steal the DC.

livinginwonderland · 28/02/2013 14:12

yanbu. i would do the same thing. it's not like other people weren't around, and these were mothers with children in a coffee shop, not a stranger in an alleyway!

Indith · 28/02/2013 14:16

Absolutely fine. I've handed various children over to random strangers who look sort of friendly plenty of times!

MrsMushroom · 28/02/2013 14:17

I've been asked to mind a baby once in a soft play centre...I didn't think it odd at all. The woman could see I had my own children with me...I was flattered. She did the same thing and left him in his highchair beside me.

It's a rare person who'll grab a baby.

MissLurkalot · 28/02/2013 14:19

I've done it once.. Same situation.
I hope I won't have to do it again, as I too gave myself a really hard time about it after.
x

TheChaoGoesMu · 28/02/2013 14:20

I would have done the same as you op.

squiddle · 28/02/2013 14:25

I never had to do this, but have been left with a baby in the library while the mum popped to the loo. Leaving your baby with two mums with their babies sounds completely fine to me.

dobby2001 · 28/02/2013 14:26

I am of an age when my mum would have left me outside the supermarket in my pram whislt she did the shopping , along with a few other folks babies no doubt Smile Its so sad nowadays that due to the tiny tiny % of awful thing that happen, we always think terrible things will happen to our children if we trust another human being with them for a nanosecond Sad

You did nothing wrong. I am always offering to help mums (or dads) in distress and will chat to parents and children in cafes etc Hubby gets right peed off with me, and my 11yo is starting to say I embarress her Blush But I am also happy to say she has been raised to offer help to strangers in need as a result Smile

BTW, I am not advocating leaving children outside supermarkets anymore in case you are wondering Grin

5madthings · 28/02/2013 14:28

Its fine, I have done it plenty of times:)

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