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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think mumsnet makes me a worse mum?

59 replies

monkeynuts123 · 27/02/2013 10:50

MN is strangely addictive but I'm wondering if it makes me a worse mum. Before I came on here I thought it was totally unacceptable to shout at your children (mind you I only had one then!!) and now I think a bit of shouty is normal. I notice how the bar is very low on here about rubbish parenting and people seem to normalise things that are just not reasonable, such as chucking water over your kids or leaving tv on for hours or eating shit food. Is this being judgy? Maybe but sometimes I think on here people aren't judgy enough and I wonder if I spend much more time on here if my standards will lower too.

OP posts:
SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 27/02/2013 10:52
Hmm
ThingummyBob · 27/02/2013 10:52
Hmm

Don't visit then? I'm not sure you'll find a forum for perfect parents though tbh.

Flobbadobs · 27/02/2013 11:00

Erm, the OP of the chucking water thread got her arse handed to her on a plate...
YABU, it's not compulsory to click the link you know.

PessaryPam · 27/02/2013 11:01

This is a reverse thing isn't it?

KellyElly · 27/02/2013 11:03

I think on here people aren't judgy enough Are you serious!? Grin

Pagwatch · 27/02/2013 11:04

If you think it is making you a worse mum then you can either

A) stop visiting the site or

B) adopt the astonishing idea that what other anonymous people post on a chat site should not inform your parenting. Embrace the idea that you are able to read and post without being such an intellectual void that you must alter all that you believe because someone once posted 'threw water on DS. Haha what japes' *

NB. You might want to avoid watching Jeremy Kyle

HerbyVore · 27/02/2013 11:05

Judgey Schmudgey

meh

MumVsKids · 27/02/2013 11:06

I can't see this ending well at all.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 27/02/2013 11:07

If you started shouting at your kids because someone on the internet said it was ok, then really you are a bit odd.

fryingpantoface · 27/02/2013 11:08

I'm reporting this as you sound a little twattish. Also it's goady. But mainly the first. If you don't like something, don't do it.

BumpingFuglies · 27/02/2013 11:15

Can you all wait till I've got the popcorn?

mummywithnosleep · 27/02/2013 11:17

Are you reading a different forum to me?

I think mostly the help / advice / hand holding here is great.

BUT its a internet forum, you dont HAVE to read it.

Simples you don´t like it don´t come here.

Oh, was that too judgy?

cory · 27/02/2013 11:17

If you really cannot do your own parenting in your own way because you have read on the internet that some parents parent differently, then you have already failed in the first duty of parenting: to demonstrate to your children that everybody is responsible for their own behaviour.

MNHQ
KateSMumsnet · 27/02/2013 11:17
BumpingFuglies · 27/02/2013 11:18

You got Olivia's cough, Kate?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/02/2013 11:23

People are very against shouting at your kids on MN (and in real life). But if you've had a bad day and ended up shouting at them when at the end of your tether then most people on her will say "give yourself a break it happens". No ones saying shouting is best practice just that there's no point beating yourself up about small mistakes.

There are certain things which are held in higher esteem on MN than in RL. For instance on here most posters are against smacking your children or leaving a baby to cry to sleep. These are commonly practised parenting techniques in the UK but very frowned upon here. So actually if you listen to the majority view you'll probably end up a better parent.

SirBoobAlot · 27/02/2013 11:25

I don't shout at my son. Didn't see that as part of the sign up criteria, obviously missed it...

Strangely enough, you don't have to do everything that everyone else does. If you honestly find that you think you must, you really should seek out some self esteem help.

Or stop reading it.

SconeInSixtySeconds · 27/02/2013 11:26

Funny that, pretty sure MN has made me a better parent. I shout less because I rant on here or find the humour a bit more easily knowing that I am not the only one going through it.

Anyhoo OP, take what you want, leave what you don't is a good motto, I suggest you follow it out the door

cory · 27/02/2013 11:28

I shout far less than I would otherwise do because when I am busy shooting down total strangers on AIBU I don't see half of what my offspring get up to. Grin

FairyJen · 27/02/2013 11:29

That cough really is dreadful MNHQ. Have you tried a hot toddy?

< stupid question of week alert >

MNHQ
KateSMumsnet · 27/02/2013 11:32

@BumpingFuglies

You got Olivia's cough, Kate?

I wish. Her glorious cough of power.

SkinnybitchWannabe · 27/02/2013 11:33

MN hasn't made a difference how I parent my children. I raise my boys how I see fit and the only person who can influence that is my lovely mum.
I see MN as a fantastic place to chat and to see what others opinions are on various subjects including childrearing.

badtasteflump · 27/02/2013 11:33

I agree completely OP. You should toddle off to somewhere much judgier Hmm

BumpingFuglies · 27/02/2013 11:39

I'd love a cough of power IT WOULD SAVE SO MUCH SHOUTING! Grin

FairyJen · 27/02/2013 11:40

this is what your looking for op

So sorry for link MNHQ