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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To think mumsnet makes me a worse mum?

59 replies

monkeynuts123 · 27/02/2013 10:50

MN is strangely addictive but I'm wondering if it makes me a worse mum. Before I came on here I thought it was totally unacceptable to shout at your children (mind you I only had one then!!) and now I think a bit of shouty is normal. I notice how the bar is very low on here about rubbish parenting and people seem to normalise things that are just not reasonable, such as chucking water over your kids or leaving tv on for hours or eating shit food. Is this being judgy? Maybe but sometimes I think on here people aren't judgy enough and I wonder if I spend much more time on here if my standards will lower too.

OP posts:
SconeInSixtySeconds · 27/02/2013 11:41

I just tried an Ahem out on the dog who was looking to scrounge.

He looked all embarrassed and stopped! I shall be unstoppable from now on mua ha hah ha!

TheMaskedHorror · 27/02/2013 11:44

Seriously?
What have you been reading?
I've never come across so much info on cooking healthy meals and activities to do with your kids instead of watching tv.

Tolly81 · 27/02/2013 11:45

Don't get this at all. I usually go on the parenting section, just came on here for a little light entertainment variety but all the threads I read are a variation on a theme of "feel awful for shouting at my toddler", "how can I not be shouty" etc etc. I have yet to see any "anyone know if any voice trainers so I can shout louder at my kids" type threads. There are lots of attachment parenting, unconditional parenting people on here too. I actually thought you meant it makes you a bad mother as you're peering bog-eyed at your phone rather than paying attention to dcs. I kind of see that Blush. And frankly, if you have started shouting at your kids more because you read about other people doing it on a website, then I'm with the consensus opinion that you are unhinged.

KateSMumsnet · 27/02/2013 11:46

@SconeInSixtySeconds

I just tried an Ahem out on the dog who was looking to scrounge.

He looked all embarrassed and stopped! I shall be unstoppable from now on mua ha hah ha!

actually does work on dogs, especially when they're trying to steal cheese off the counter I've found.

fryingpantoface · 27/02/2013 11:46

tolly I love the word unhinged. I'm going to use it as much as possible today

BumpingFuglies · 27/02/2013 11:55

fryingpan I also like the word unhinged. Neurologically disconnected was a good one I heard the other day, but it doesn't roll of the tongue so well.

SecretNutellaFix · 27/02/2013 11:58

I honestly do not recognise what you say.

Are you honestly unable to comprehend the words you are reading, or do you just twist them to try and cause ructions?

bedmonster · 27/02/2013 11:58

Fairy Grin Grin Grin

Tee2072 · 27/02/2013 12:15

Did they finally make MN required in order to be a mum? Because I've been pushing for that for ages.

Oh, wait, they haven't? Imagine that...

Kate you need a bit more throat in it, to be as good as 'Livia. HTH!

Sugarice · 27/02/2013 12:19

OP, It's a great forum, informative, warm and immensely helpful when people have reached out for support.It has helped me in lots of ways.

I don't know how you've chosen to interpret the threads in the way you have done but I don't recognise the forum you've described.

ScarletLady02 · 27/02/2013 12:27

I think it's made me a better mum to be honest. When I've been unsure of things I've asked advice and it's confirmed that what I'm doing is right....or at least right for me anyway. It's made me laugh when Iv'e wanted to cry....helped me through sleepless nights and made me realise I'm not alone...

Awwwww I love you guys

skratta · 27/02/2013 12:49

Seriously, OP?

MN has opened me to many ideas I'd never thought about before, on parenting, on cooking, on dogs and other pets, on feminism, and just general life. It has given me great techniques and some ones which I don't and won't use too, and the same goes for advice everywhere. I don't take my parenting from MN, I get advice and anecdotes and I think and sometimes I use them, not because a stranger told me it was good, but because I think about it carefully, recognise similarities to what I do now and the differences, and think of it realistically could work. I take my parenting from my experience as a child, from MN, from articles sometimes, a lot (often most) of the time from instinct, from my parents, from how my child reacts and if I we a friend or relative doing something like time out effectively, it makes me consider it. My DH does the same.

If you don't analyse and think about every bit of advice, then of course you will be a bad parent, if you follow a ice wholly mildly. Would you smack your children if someone told you to?

Aside from that, MN does make me a bad mum. I spend way too much time on MN!

PessaryPam · 27/02/2013 12:50

Fuglies 'cognitive dissonance' is one of my personal faves.

CupidStunt48 · 27/02/2013 12:51

YABU.

Go away OP and never come back Grin

PanpiperAtTheGatesOfYawn · 27/02/2013 12:52

Better mum here too.

Worse employee however.

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 27/02/2013 12:54

Are you sure you're reading MN!? Confused

Anyone really that I have seen advocating anything you have mentioned, normally gets a bollocking! :o

ceramicunicorn · 27/02/2013 12:57

It made me a better mum as I can rant on here rather than at dh/ds/both.

I also have a steam mop, a slow cooker and a bra that fits.

PanpiperAtTheGatesOfYawn · 27/02/2013 12:58

I also have a steam mop, a slow cooker and a bra that fits.

And in my case intoning "no is a complete sentence' at upset RL friends Grin

MimsyBorogroves · 27/02/2013 13:02

I tried coughing at DS2 when he looked like he was about to lunge for the cat. He coughed back at me.

musickeepsmesane · 27/02/2013 13:04

Fairy followed your link. Still laughing at 'baffled by the settings on your toaster' I must go back to that site and find out what useful info they can give me on the challenging job of raising my family. Think the OP is having a laff too. I hope.

musickeepsmesane · 27/02/2013 13:10

I went back to the link posted by fairy Bit like poking your sore tooth. Second hot topic 'Are boys harder work than girls or are the challenges just different' I need to be careful about out of control laughing, being of a certain age an' all. OP, off you pop, sounds much less thought provoking over there than here

notso · 27/02/2013 13:13

Aside from that, MN does make me a bad mum. I spend way too much time on MN!

Me too!

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 27/02/2013 13:14

Just because you read someones personal opinion it doesn't mean you have to follow it.

Maybe you were shit in the first place and MN has just made you realise?

BumpingFuglies · 27/02/2013 13:15

Grin at 'cognitive dissonance

SchroSawMargeryDaw · 27/02/2013 13:16

^"Aside from that, MN does make me a bad mum. I spend way too much time on MN!

Me too!"^

Yup, me as well. :)