Surprised that friends would never travel alone?

[OnTheOpenRoad]

Had to travel to Paris last week for a work meeting, but thankfully actually got to see the city too. I caught the Eurostar there and used the metro, had a fab time.

My friends were shocked that - firstly I dared to get the Eurostar by myself and secondly that I used the metro - again by myself.

I remember them being surprised that I wasn't bothered about getting a train to London by myself and using the Underground.

At least 3 of my friends were shocked and said "I could never do that" - and before people say it's to do with anxiety it really isn't, they would just never dare do something like that.

I'm not saying "wow look at me I'm so confident" - because I found it a struggle to but I like to challenge myself. Then again it's really not hard to get to a train station, look at the huge departure board and then find the platform.

It just makes me a bit sad that some people would pass up good opportunities purely because they would never do it alone even though they more than capable of doing so.

Obviously there are exceptions.

Nailak - having moved from Manchester to London 13 years ago, I know plenty of people - family and friends from oop north - who would not get on a tube alone. My father absolutely will not travel on his own from Euston to our house.

My Dsis was horrified when I said I'd meet them in Barcelona for her hen weekend - she wanted me to get the train up to Manchester and fly from there with everyone else which would be pretty nonsensical and expensive - she couldn't believe I was so "brave" to travel all that way on my own (even though I regularly travelled around Europe for work for years). People are just different I guess

I think that it is something that people ought to try. I know a lot who can't even have a night alone- then DH dies and they have to - it also means that they get somewhat home bound if they won't do things alone. There are many who won't have a holiday or even a day out because they have no one to do it with. It has its advantages - you can do exactly what you like!

name another world city

Buenos Aires? That's always struck me a truly 'world city' that I'd love to live in. Still regret that I didn't make it there when I lived in South America, even though it was about 3,000 miles away from where I was. I had friends living there at the time as well so could have done it, but there was just so much else to see ... maybe one day ...

I'm probably quite scathing towards people who won't do any number of things. Drives me mad. Probably because half the women in my family won't do things on their own (or can't) - won't drive, won't complain about anything (restaurants, bad service), won't go anywhere exotic, won't try exotic food. Drives me mad.

I took DD backpacking through Vietnam and Thailand as a single parent when I was 23 and she was 4. Travelling for six weeks, not knowing a soul out there. Very liberating

There is a difference between not wanting to travel alone (as in being nervous to take the tube or go on a plane by yourself) and going on holiday alone.

I have no problem at all travelling alone if I have to get somewhere (even to a remote place) but I know I wouldn't enjoy a holiday on my own. I lived in Beijing on my own one summer and it was pretty lonely, even with no language barrier. And I was getting out and about and taking short trips so it wasn't just static. I enjoyed myself a lot more when after a few weeks I was joined by some friends and we could have meals together and try more than one thing on the menu, and sit at the end of the day shooting the breeze and talking about what we'd seen and done.

I have friends like this too. I took DD camping abroad (drove there) when she was 2yrs old - having never before driven abroad nor put up a tent.

My dad, sister and several friends were aghast at the thought of it and one friend even cried cos she was so worried about me going

We had a whale of a time and went back the following year.

I recently took DD to London and was met with similar responses that I was driving rather than getting the train

Thing is they wouldn't think twice about a man doing the same things!

Actually Freckled you've reminded me I've been travelling twice with DS on my own - once to Spain when he was 4 months and once to Kenya when he was 1 (DH and other family were there but we travelled one leg on our own).

I think more people approached me travelling alone with a child than I ever had travelling alone before, and I enjoyed myself much more as a result. Inviting me to share their meals, holding DS when he was fractious etc.

I still would rather go on holiday with friends or family though.

But MrsMushroom, it is weedy!

It doesn't mean that anyone is any better than anyone else - I am sure I have loads of characteristics which are equally deserving of a disparaging name - all of us do.

We might as well own up to it!

I know everyone is different and has their own fears and limitations, but I do find it frustrating when some friends I know won't drive on the motorways. I often drive Up North and to other cities on my own (and gasp without Sat Nav) and have lived to tell the tale.
Nor will they travel to London or on the Underground on their own and gawp at me in amazement when I just take off on my own to gigs or meetings in London.

I have travelled on my own abroad on occasions, although often to meetings and so am not alone all the time.

Someone upthread mentioned parents not encouraging their children not to take a language because their children will never leave the UK! That is terrible.
The worst I heard was when my (then) 14 year old daughter had the opportunity to have a foreign student here and then go to stay with them. This was a FREE opportunity and she went to both Germany and Spain.
None of her friends would get involved because their parents didn't want a stranger staying in their house "in case they might Steal something"
How would they like someone saying the same about their 14 year old daughter?!?!
Now that is small-minded!

Ah travelling alone... That wondeful experience before you have to take the whole toy shop, an iPad and get kicked, prodded and bounced on for 12 hours on a plane...

I have friends who live in London who would not visit me with a baby in tow as they couldn't get the train alone? Really?? I dragged my poor DC everywhere from the moment I could! Getting around London kept me sane on maternity leave. I would visit anyone who would have me or meet me!
I don't travel much for work but when I do I adore getting lost in a film or book etc. I fly often with my DC alone and she is so used to flying now she always gets states of awe at how well she is behaved but it really is just so natural for her. I hope she can do some amazing travelling one day. Oddly enough my DH has never travelled with my DC alone!

I used to travel a lot for work. One trip I was taking a colleague who was new to our team. She was in her forties and when we met up at the airport she told me that a) she had never been on a plane before and b) she had never been to London (which was where we happened to be going that particular day). She refused point blank to get the tube in from Heathrow and we had to get a cab .

i love travelling, alone or with other people. at twenty, i travelled from my little country town to france on my own - two trains to london, eurostar to paris, metro across paris, train from paris to grenoble, tram to my accomodation and then had to basically rent a flat on my own in a foreign country! i was terrified but i was so happy to have done it and i'm so much more confident now.

but, i do get the initial worry. i was terrified. really terrified. but i think once you've done it, you get over the fear and things to get easier. if you've always done it, you probably don't think about it because it's so natural!

I have loads of anxieties. Travelling alone is not one of them. Thanks to the internet I can work out how to get from A to B in most places and get over my problems with language. As for food and language... I'm not ashamed to admit that if all else fails there is always McDonalds!

I had a friend who wouldn't visit me at uni, as she was too scared. It was a direct train, that was half hourly and it was only a hour away.

I can't understand it.

Maybe if you leave it too long it becomes a Big Thing.

I took myself to New Zealand by myself when I was 20, found a job, travelled around alone (found I liked travelling alone), then after college lived in Japan. It wouldn't occur to me to be scared of travelling, but if I was doing that sort of thing for the first time now (in my 40's) I can see it might seem a big deal.

Yes saintly, you may have a point - perhaps you have to do it young for it to feel easy. I'll be packing dd off on her own as soon as we can then!

Friend's dd travelled from East Asia to the UK as an unaccompanied minor at the age of 9. She thought it was great fun! Don't suppose she'll be afraid of going anywhere on her own when she's older!

My parents took me to airport age 18 only been abroad 2 times before, I flew alone to visit my uncle. No problems until my dad started to sing Everly brothers - ebony eyes...

One of the most empowering things I did when I split with violent and abusive exdp was to drive to London from Manchester ok I got lost and it took me 7 hours with 3yr and 5yr dc but my god it felt good to be the old me

While at university three girls I knew backpacked through Africa. That surprised me. Paris, even by one self, doesn't.

Oh, I don't know if you are or not.

I'm one of those people that isn't outwardly confident but I've gone off since my late teens and lived, worked and travelled in other countries. If put in a situation where I have to get on with it or call mummy, then I get on with it. Back them I felt more comfortable with gunfire then sitting in a restaurant by myself! I know it sounds a bit odd but at the time I coped fine with things that happened around me but I'd still have felt awkward about having a coffee alone at a cafe.

I would feel a little apprehensive travelling on my own in another country now but because it would be a bit new, it still wouldn't stop me. I often drive across Europe with my husband and kids but I'd think twice before doing it by myself and would plan well.

Being a tourist on your own is different from travelling for business, or just to reach a destination. I'm not sure that I would jet off to see a foreign city by myself at this point in my life. In some ways it's tempting but I'd miss that constant company that I've got used to. These days I would happily go round a museum and eat a meal in a restaurant by myself but would freak at guns and bombs.

My Dad used to travel all over the globe on business, from his early 20's to 60's. He's not competent abroad and won't take public transport and gets flustered with language. Everything from planes, hotels, meals, sight seeing and entertainment was arranged for him. He's the seasoned global traveller but my mum is the competent one.

On I don't know. I can see how people wouldn't want to, or feel comfortable with travelling alone. i can't see why people would make a big fuss about friends, or family, travelling alone when its so normal these days. Unless thats their anxiety coming though and wanting to protect. i don't know anyone who would make a fuss about others travel plans. They may say that they wouldn't want to do xxx but wouldn't make a judgment on what someone else is up to.

Im with Fairylea

I miss the travel actually, have taken the dcs a few places by myself and just loved it

planning a few more things now

although how well you get on in restaurants alone is very dependent on the waiter/staff I think

I've never been abroad alone, but it wouldn't worry me.

Despite being married 22 years, I still love escaping to a new place with no DH or DDs, just as my 13 yo self could spend a whole day on my own window shopping in my Grandparents city.

Although I have taken DD1 aged 2.5 to meet up with DH in Washington, so I've done all the airport stuff myself (dd wasn't much help, or to be fair hindrance)

PIL are like this. When StepMIL visits she points at alley ways and paths and says things like "don't go walking there on your own". I live in Richmond. The Bronx it ain't. Goodness only knows what she would think about the other travel I've done on my own. Even abroad!

PIL are also the kind to stand about on station platforms for 40 minutes rather than risk missing the train.

They think I'm terribly reckless

women especially are taught not to travel alone and to be afraid of unknown situationsa and places. it's shit really.traveling alone is awesome

That's really sad. i would have missed out on so much if I hadn't been able to travel alone. I hate the thought that someone is too frightened to get out and see all the beauty and the fantastic things this world has to offer.

I can see travel being too much of a pain for some people- I'd hate to have to drag a pram full of twins across London, for example, but if there weren't any physical difficulties like that, then it's fun to just plunge in and give it a go.